Story Mentally ill since 2012 - i can sense the stars

[ZeldaNLink1999]

Hi guys

Ive survived for 10 years, but life is not fun anymore. Money, partner, fun... gone.

About 30 hospitalizations. On my 2nd psychologist now. Might have a job soon, though.

Its just too Hard with low money, low social interaction, no tavelling... no partner.

It feels like artificial breathing. Maybe I can get a decent life. Or, its sn.

I dont even care about the arts anymore. Just isolate after work on the weekends.

Ive tried hanging myself like 30 Times. Had I known s.n. I wouldnt be here.

I was doing uni for 5 semesters before the illness. Life just sucks compared to that.

How much is too much? Is a life worth it if its too empty? Thanks.

I used to be religious too, but Im losing interest in life. I feel like Hunter Thompson.

Is sn a painless method? I can fix most of the ingredients from my doctor.

At least I own my apartment, go to work, have food, books, movies.... but, a life?

 

[FuneralCry]

From what I read I don't think that SN is exactly painless, rather it just sounds quite unpleasant but still preferable to many of the other methods which sound more horrible, involve more risks and at least to me sound more difficult to overcome any survival instinct. There is a reason why so many people wish to obtain SN after all, it's a reliable poison.

But I hope that you eventually find the freedom that you wish for, it sounds like you've been through a lot and it must be so tiring being in that situation. It sounds so awful to me failing hanging 30 times, that's why I've never attempted and it makes the method sound so much easier than it actually is when you hear of all these people succeeding with it. I think that those who manage to access SN are fortunate.

 

[Sakura94]

Most of what FC just said sounds right. You still seem to be searching for something else though I think. I wish I could help give you advice on those things.

 

[releasespieces]

According to Dr Philip Nitschke, SN brings about a "happy hypoxia death" that appears rather peaceful based on information relayed to him from sources that supposedly witnessed these deaths. With SN there is no build up of carbon dioxide, the exit bag method is more peaceful, but essentially it's the same physiological process, just a different way of getting there that isn't as quick and painless.

The reality is that it's suicide and everyone will have their own individual, subjective experiences. There is no way to tell 100% how someone will feel while experiencing this method. I think it probably is a rather peaceful way to die when you consider the alternatives, but I also think there are members here who expect too much from any method, there will always be some level of pain as your body dies.

Basically, I think SN is among the best we have when it comes to minimizing adverse survival side effects, pain levels, ease of use, access and reliability when following protocols. That being said, your body will be dying and you can can certainly expect some level of discomfort and pain until you reach a level of unconsciousnes, maybe 10-15 minutes after ingestion. You're poisoning yourself, it's going to suck until doesn't… the taste will be awful, you're going to want to vomit or actually vomit, you might experience a burning sensation, breathing will become difficult and labored, skin and nails turn blue, you'll get extremely light headed and confused, some part of you is going to want your mommy… then fade to black.