Stick

Stick

Experienced
Aug 31, 2020
269
It's so weird. I used to barely remember anything about my childhood. I'd know things happened, but I wouldn't remember actual scenes. I assumed I'd lost those memories. Then, about two months ago, the day after my birthday, I had a flashback episode and a bunch of memories I didn't know I had came flooding back to me. I kept having episodes like this for a while, and they eventually stopped about a month ago. Still, even though I now had access to them, it was forced access. I couldn't stop myself from not thinking about the memories, or I couldn't think of them at all.
Yesterday, I was thinking about my childhood, and I realized that for the first time, I could actually just remember different parts of my life. I sat down and tried to remember second grade, and I could. I remembered things I didn't even know about myself. For example, I used to be a bully back in elementary school. I've always thought of myself as a kind person, and its so weird because now I have memories of myself saying awful things to other kids. It puts pieces into place that I couldn't explain before, too. Like, I never had friends when I was young, and now I remember why. It's because I was a piece of shit. And now I get why being kind to others is so important to me, because I wanted to make sure I never became that person again. It's so strange.
There are other things, too, but I don't want to list out my life story in one post.
My therapist thinks it's okay but like. This is so weird to feel. I had a life. I have experiences and those experiences shape me as a person, and I know what they are now.
 
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Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Sep 13, 2020
710
Interesting. Thank you for sharing. You mentioned therapy do you think this has played a significant factor in your breakthrough for memory? Do you have any other theories?

Unlike myself my sibling struggles to remember her childhood. My memory from childhood is like an elephant, which unfortunately is not always a good thing. Hopefully you have some tips for me to pass on to my sibling.

I enjoy reading your posts.
 
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Stick

Stick

Experienced
Aug 31, 2020
269
Interesting. Thank you for sharing. You mentioned therapy do you think this has played a significant factor in your breakthrough for memory? Do you have any other theories?

Unlike myself my sibling struggles to remember her childhood. My memory from childhood is like an elephant, which unfortunately is not always a good thing. Hopefully you have some tips for me to pass on to my sibling.

I enjoy reading your posts.
I think that therapy might have a role to play. When I had my flashbacks, my therapist explained that I am basically processing the emotions that I didn't process when the events happened. I'd imagine that these new memories that aren't flashbacks are a result of the same thing: I've processed what happened, so now my mind is allowing me access. I'm definitely going to bring it up again in my next visit. Unfortunately, I don't have many tips to give to your sister. I'm not sure what caused me to be able to remember them.
And thank you! I try to make my posts interesting if I can.
 
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