StalkedByDeath
BPD; MDD; GAD
- Sep 5, 2019
- 69
I've been here on and off for 4 years. I have experience with partial hanging, but obviously I've never fully gone through with it. Now SN seems to be a big thing, but it appears I'm late to the party. Could someone PM me where to purchase? I see some China/Malaysia companies but I'm not sure they're legit. I'm located in the U.S.
My wife has kept me alive for 4 great years, but our marriage has come to an end and I'm back to square one, except now in more pain than I have ever been in. "Time heals all wounds", but that healing is relative. When all my good memories hurt, and I have memories as great as the ones with her, no amount of healing will lead to a recovery enough to push through the pain. I know myself, and I know my limits.
I've tried to ctb several times throughout my life, starting at 9yo, but now there's truly no coming back. I can't function anymore. Obviously I'd like N, but don't have that kind of money, and I don't want to risk that purchase. If SN doesn't work out, I'll go partial/full, but I'd like to try SN.
As a bonus: I've taken 20,000mg of acetaminophen in the past when I was 15 (almost 10 years ago), which for apparent reasons I don't see discussed. It was the worst physical pain of my life, and I was taken to the hospital only 10 hours in. My insides felt like they were dissolving, and I couldn't stop vomiting until a while after the IV antiemetic went in. They gave me an antidote (it was far too late for stomach pumping), and I made a full recovery with it being a "miracle" there was no liver damage. I bring that up to say this: As a parting gift, if anyone comes across this thinking of ODing on Tylenol, DON'T DO IT. You'll likely just end up in so much pain you throw in the towel and seek help.
My wife has kept me alive for 4 great years, but our marriage has come to an end and I'm back to square one, except now in more pain than I have ever been in. "Time heals all wounds", but that healing is relative. When all my good memories hurt, and I have memories as great as the ones with her, no amount of healing will lead to a recovery enough to push through the pain. I know myself, and I know my limits.
I've tried to ctb several times throughout my life, starting at 9yo, but now there's truly no coming back. I can't function anymore. Obviously I'd like N, but don't have that kind of money, and I don't want to risk that purchase. If SN doesn't work out, I'll go partial/full, but I'd like to try SN.
As a bonus: I've taken 20,000mg of acetaminophen in the past when I was 15 (almost 10 years ago), which for apparent reasons I don't see discussed. It was the worst physical pain of my life, and I was taken to the hospital only 10 hours in. My insides felt like they were dissolving, and I couldn't stop vomiting until a while after the IV antiemetic went in. They gave me an antidote (it was far too late for stomach pumping), and I made a full recovery with it being a "miracle" there was no liver damage. I bring that up to say this: As a parting gift, if anyone comes across this thinking of ODing on Tylenol, DON'T DO IT. You'll likely just end up in so much pain you throw in the towel and seek help.
