Thank you for your responses. I will try to respond to everyone in a single message.
Ask yourself these questions, please. Ask yourself why people would shoot themselves in the head, sometimes with shotguns, jump off of tall buildings, hang & drown themselves etc, if they could just take 20 melatonin gummies instead? Can you think of a single reason? Do you think this site would exist if all someone had to do to end their life was take 20 melatonin gummies? Would there be any reason for it whatsoever? Do you you think there would be so many threads here of people desperately trying to find SN if they could just take 20 melatonin gummies? I look forward to reading your answers.
Honestly, I already knew that melatonin wouldn't kill me. I was hoping that it would at least cause me some pain, or put me in a state of stupor. This was in no way meant to disparage other people; I myself am considering killing myself by throwing myself in front of a train. If only an overdose of melatonin could cloud my mind before I did it... but no luck, it has no effect. I'll have to find another drug for that. With any luck, my psychiatrist will prescribe me drugs with side effects like the ones I'm looking for.
No this is not how melatonin works. Melatonin regulates your body's sense of circadian rhythm, so you're day night cycle. It basically just makes your body think it's night time. It's not a true depressant.
I understand the desire though! It makes you sleepy, so take enough and sleep forever? Wouldn't that be the dream. But nope, if you take 20 gummies your jaw will just hurt a lot and you might sleep a little longer than you usually do, and maybe you'll have trouble falling asleep without the gummies tomorrow, but you'll still have a tomorrow.
Sorry for how bad you're struggling. No one deserves pain like this.
also I can't read your post history. Why do you want to die?
Unfortunately, it won't even hurt me...
Yes, it would be so nice to fall asleep and never wake up... but I know that even if I took an overdose of prescription sleeping pills, it wouldn't work. You have to combine several types of drugs to cause death (some overdoses work; my sister took one and would have died if she hadn't told someone).
As for my reasons for wanting to die, it's a bit long and complicated to explain. I don't think life is worth living (at least mine isn't), living is unbearable and makes me feel like I'm suffocating. I hate my physical appearance, my eating disorders are destroying my life; my autism and high intellectual potential make me feel constantly marginalized (it's not just an impression...), and the more time passes, the worse my life gets. One of my biggest mistakes was opening up to my friends, who ultimately kicked me out of their group because they didn't want to put up with someone who was depressed and suicidal. In a way, I understand them. I mean, it's so boring and uninteresting to be with me, it's a complete waste of time. Anyway, I'm not going to dwell on why I want to die. There are so many reasons, but frankly, it's not interesting.
I'm feeling like most of these posts are troll posts.
And no, it wasn't a troll! I'm sorry for wasting your time with such a stupid question. As I said above, I knew it wouldn't kill me, but at least it could make me suffer... Suffering is a kind of comfort when I fail to kill myself, like a kind of punishment at the same time. Sorry, it's not very clear, it's hard to really explain this feeling.
You can read/research more to see the various methods that is most suitable to you , currently with SN is the most popular way.
SN, is that sodium nitrite? If so, I won't be able to buy it in my country, as it's not available for sale to individuals, unfortunately...
The principle is if it's over the counter don't even try it
Yes, I know. Even though that didn't stop me from overdosing on paracetamol (I just ended up in the hospital...).
