Medication

[annxietty]

Ive been on so many meds over the past few years... I would say they have changed me, my memory is shit and my ability to focus is almost none, they are not good and what most people dont understand (at least people around me are like this) is that we dont take those meds because they are fun, or because they make us feel good, we take them because without them we feel 100 times worse... I was taking some meds that didnt have any effect on me no more, because I was taking them for over a year (couldnt see a psychiatrist to change them) and I was having anxiety 24/7, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, every minute thinking about killing myself to make it stop... Im now on some meds that are helping me with my compulsive thoughts and my anxiety, but I know I need therapy, I have an appointment in December... Ive explained this to both the nurse and the actual psychiatrist, Its not that I wish to die, Its not desire what I feel, Its almost like a duty, I have to die, I have to... Im trying to live, but Its always (and it doesnt matter the meds or therapy) in the back of my mind, I have to go someday... and its not going to be natural death...
My sister is super against the meds I take, she says Im not myself until I stop taking them, she says Im not suicidal, that I dont cut anymore... sis, Im not cutting because Its still too hot to wear long sleeves and you will see the cuts (my father never noticed, but she will notice, I know she will and I dont want to) Ive bruised very heavily the upper part of my leg to do self harm because I couldnt stand it anymore, she asked multiple times about the huge bruise and I lied to her...
Months ago a man my sister knew committed suicide, my sister grabbed me crying and saying she was scared I will die too, that time I felt things Ive never felt before, and I cant describe it. They have talked many times about that man's suicide, how they dont understand people that wish to die, how they are selfish for dying and leaving people behind... Ive tried to talk about it with them to help them understand but I must not do that, or they will know... that she will lose me someday

 

[nivis...]

Ive been on so many meds over the past few years... I would say they have changed me, my memory is shit and my ability to focus is almost none, they are not good and what most people dont understand (at least people around me are like this) is that we dont take those meds because they are fun, or because they make us feel good, we take them because without them we feel 100 times worse... I was taking some meds that didnt have any effect on me no more, because I was taking them for over a year (couldnt see a psychiatrist to change them) and I was having anxiety 24/7, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, every minute thinking about killing myself to make it stop... Im now on some meds that are helping me with my compulsive thoughts and my anxiety, but I know I need therapy, I have an appointment in December... Ive explained this to both the nurse and the actual psychiatrist, Its not that I wish to die, Its not desire what I feel, Its almost like a duty, I have to die, I have to... Im trying to live, but Its always (and it doesnt matter the meds or therapy) in the back of my mind, I have to go someday... and its not going to be natural death...
My sister is super against the meds I take, she says Im not myself until I stop taking them, she says Im not suicidal, that I dont cut anymore... sis, Im not cutting because Its still too hot to wear long sleeves and you will see the cuts (my father never noticed, but she will notice, I know she will and I dont want to) Ive bruised very heavily the upper part of my leg to do self harm because I couldnt stand it anymore, she asked multiple times about the huge bruise and I lied to her...
Months ago a man my sister knew committed suicide, my sister grabbed me crying and saying she was scared I will die too, that time I felt things Ive never felt before, and I cant describe it. They have talked many times about that man's suicide, how they dont understand people that wish to die, how they are selfish for dying and leaving people behind... Ive tried to talk about it with them to help them understand but I must not do that, or they will know... that she will lose me someday

pat pat I honestly agree with the anti pill statement but I get how being without them would be hard. I read that the sun gives you a vitamin that makes you feel better and happier in a way, maybe try going outside with your sister to the park or something and just try to have a nice time, get ice cream or something yknow. I hope you get better soon <3

 

[Outsidelessness]

pat pat I honestly agree with the anti pill statement but I get how being without them would be hard. I read that the sun gives you a vitamin that makes you feel better and happier in a way, maybe try going outside with your sister to the park or something and just try to have a nice time, get ice cream or something yknow. I hope you get better soon <3

Human biology majors have told me Vitamin D deficiency is linked to so much shit lol. If anyone doesn't go outside often at all then they should at least take supplements

 

[nivis...]

Human biology majors have told me Vitamin D deficiency is linked to so much shit lol. If anyone doesn't go outside often at all then they should at least take supplement

mhm mhm

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Some meds to affect concentration and memory. For me the biggest culprit of that was Zolpidem, that med can completely ruin someone's memory and focus...

Unfortunately, I think there is a limit to what people can understand. Either because it's so far of their comfort zone that they can't fadom to understand, or simply because it's too uncomfortable to even try - I think suicidal ideation falls on both of those categories.

I'm sorry you feel like you have to die...one really doesn't need to be self harming to feel that way...

 

[annxietty]

Human biology majors have told me Vitamin D deficiency is linked to so much shit lol. If anyone doesn't go outside often at all then they should at least take supplements

I actually take a Vitamin D supplement and one for iron too, agoraphobia sucks lol

pat pat I honestly agree with the anti pill statement but I get how being without them would be hard. I read that the sun gives you a vitamin that makes you feel better and happier in a way, maybe try going outside with your sister to the park or something and just try to have a nice time, get ice cream or something yknow. I hope you get better soon <3

Im going outside more, even if its still hard, Im trying even if people around me may think Im not... I dont like taking pills either but without them Im useless I fear, I cant control my levels of anxiety or cant control my need to self harm or worse...

 

[Division Day]

At this point I'd be perfectly okay taking meds every day for the rest of my life if they worked. But I take 8 pills a day and my anxiety still dominates me in a way that makes me wish I was dead.

What's the thing you're taking that's helping? I don't have a ton of hope, but it would be nice to find something that at least helped me.

 

[annxietty]

At this point I'd be perfectly okay taking meds every day for the rest of my life if they worked. But I take 8 pills a day and my anxiety still dominates me in a way that makes me wish I was dead.

What's the thing you're taking that's helping? I don't have a ton of hope, but it would be nice to find something that at least helped me.

First of all I changed my environment to a much better one, that obviously is a huge help, Im still me tho, same mental health problems and same suicidal ideations, still anxiety attacks and stuff... Ive taken a lot of stuff but what Im taking at the moment (and I think is helping me, at least right now) is 3 pills of fluoxetine, 2 of alprazolam retard, quetiapine, escitalopram, mirtazapine and valium in case of insomnia or a crisis. All this obviously is daily, except the valium. Anxiety sucks, meds help but therapy is needed. The psychiatrist told me I will always feel more anxiety than others, but that I will learn to manage it, I immediately thought that its not worth it lol... Hope you find peace in some way.

 

[chronicpain123]

Medicines can stop working because of tolerance buildup, basically you needing more to get the same result. Therefore its recommended to reset that once in a while so you can get the full effects again. It sucks but yea thats temporarily. Just gotta bite the bullet

 

[chronicpain123]

At this point I'd be perfectly okay taking meds every day for the rest of my life if they worked. But I take 8 pills a day and my anxiety still dominates me in a way that makes me wish I was dead.

What's the thing you're taking that's helping? I don't have a ton of hope, but it would be nice to find something that at least helped me.

For me oxycodone has helped tremendously with my pain. I must say I dont think its that good of a solution but if youre dealing with a lot of pain it can help. I prolly wont even make 40 being on these constantly but thats okay, because id rather live to 40 be happy w this shit than be living till 60 unhappily. But yeah there are plenty of things to try that could theoretically help. But it is temporary and once you do get addicted its definately difficult to get off of them. However the mind is also very strong.. I hope this helped you idk. But oxycodone allowed me to feel more confident in a lot of situations.