medical trauma + can’t afford meds

[Lawliet]

first of all I'm sorry that this is rambling but I need to vent. I am also using voice to text so I apologize for the errors of this message. I am extremely chronically ill, I have fibromyalgia which is a disease that causes widespread nerve pain. I have had this for over five months with no relief. I also have 24/7 headaches, I have had them for about three years and the only thing that helps is ice and an injection that I take three times every three months.

I was at the end of my three month cycle when I needed to take new medication when insurance denied it. I had to go to the ER for pain and despite them giving me drugs including ketamine, nothing helped. Even worse, I waited three hours for treatment and they put me in the emergency bay. Halfway through my treatment a critical emergency case came in. a woman had collapsed, and while she was in the emergency bay there was A code blue and she stopped breathing. They had to do chest compressions and a different violator twice, the stress just made all of my pain worse, and it was terrifying. Eventually she was either driven or flown to another hospital. It was so terrifying.

I eventually was able to get insurance to approve one of three injections that I needed. But one injection does not do anything for me, and each injection cost $834 without insurance. It is highway robbery. I can't afford my medication's that I need to survive.

on Saturday night I fell down the stairs and just hurt myself even more. Thankfully there were no broken bones or sprains, but it made my entire body go into his stress response which made my fibromyalgia worse.

I had an MRI yesterday that was scheduled a while ago to check out if there's anything different that's wrong with my neck and spine. The MRI machine was extremely loud and despite your plugs, the loudness just made my migraine even worse. I have another MRI to do on Wednesday for my knees. But what is the point? I want to fucking die. I have a method, but it is extremely risky as i live with three other people and i have a strong gag reflex. I was going to wait until July when they were gone for a couple days, but I can't do that. I just can't do that.

i'm sorry this is so long. I am just so miserable and I am in so much pain. I just want to die, want to completely disappear.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm sorry. I've suffered from a neurological disorder to for 9 years even though it hasn't been truly physically agonising since after the first year of dealing with it. Still, I don't want to continue to have to to grapple with even just the psychological effects, on top of everything else. I don't know if you're American but the fact that you can't afford necessary medications suggests that. Situations like yours are truly a stain on the country.

 

[Kerrtu]

I'm sorry for all that you've gone through and all you are still going through, Lawliet.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so incredibly horrible what you've had to endure, it's so true that existence is so hellish, I hope that you eventually find freedom from your torture.

 

[Lawliet]

I'm sorry. I've suffered from a neurological disorder to for 9 years even though it hasn't been truly physically agonising since after the first year of dealing with it. Still, I don't want to continue to have to to grapple with even just the psychological effects, on top of everything else. I don't know if you're American but the fact that you can't afford necessary medications suggests that. Situations like yours are truly a stain on the country.

you're right, I am American. Unfortunately hear my kind of story is a dime a dozen. So many people die because they can't afford medications. I've been very fortunate that my basic insurance have covered quite a bit, but they're really being a beast on this one.

I am sorry you have been suffering for so long.

 

[NoLightRemains]

first of all I'm sorry that this is rambling but I need to vent. I am also using voice to text so I apologize for the errors of this message. I am extremely chronically ill, I have fibromyalgia which is a disease that causes widespread nerve pain. I have had this for over five months with no relief. I also have 24/7 headaches, I have had them for about three years and the only thing that helps is ice and an injection that I take three times every three months.

I was at the end of my three month cycle when I needed to take new medication when insurance denied it. I had to go to the ER for pain and despite them giving me drugs including ketamine, nothing helped. Even worse, I waited three hours for treatment and they put me in the emergency bay. Halfway through my treatment a critical emergency case came in. a woman had collapsed, and while she was in the emergency bay there was A code blue and she stopped breathing. They had to do chest compressions and a different violator twice, the stress just made all of my pain worse, and it was terrifying. Eventually she was either driven or flown to another hospital. It was so terrifying.

I eventually was able to get insurance to approve one of three injections that I needed. But one injection does not do anything for me, and each injection cost $834 without insurance. It is highway robbery. I can't afford my medication's that I need to survive.

on Saturday night I fell down the stairs and just hurt myself even more. Thankfully there were no broken bones or sprains, but it made my entire body go into his stress response which made my fibromyalgia worse.

I had an MRI yesterday that was scheduled a while ago to check out if there's anything different that's wrong with my neck and spine. The MRI machine was extremely loud and despite your plugs, the loudness just made my migraine even worse. I have another MRI to do on Wednesday for my knees. But what is the point? I want to fucking die. I have a method, but it is extremely risky as i live with three other people and i have a strong gag reflex. I was going to wait until July when they were gone for a couple days, but I can't do that. I just can't do that.

i'm sorry this is so long. I am just so miserable and I am in so much pain. I just want to die, want to completely disappear.

Sorry you are struggling with physical illness also. I suffer with chronic migraines also and it has taken over 2 years to find treatment that actually helps a bit. I get monthly injections and botox injections every three months. Both are expensive and have to deal with insurance trying to be cheap sometimes. I hope you can find some relief soon.