Venting Meaningless life

[HillWhereIWillRest]

I failed in everything I tried. I have BPD and some autoimmune diseases since I was a child.

I see some Instagram accounts of colleagues I studied with and they are healthy, happy, with a solid career, married... I have not achieved anything! I'm a failure!

I just haven't killed myself yet because I'm afraid of SN. But in the country where I live it's so easy to buy it!

My psychologist commented that I have dysfunctional behaviors and thoughts due to my set of comorbidities. I was devastated.

I'm exhausted from carrying so much suffering inside of me

 

[Symbiote]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I would definitely cut out all social media because it makes fall into the danger trap that sets off our illnesses, which is comparing ourselves to others. Instagram, facebook, they all show the positive aspects of life, no one posts anything depressing or sad on there. It's all for show mostly and your colleague may be in an ongoing divorce or child custody hearing. Maybe they lost their job, but still put on a facade that they're a millionaire.

At least eliminate that from your life and focus on you and what you can do. Or willing to try something new.

 

[WornOutLife]

I used to do the same and it only made things worse.
My best advice for you is to not check their social networks anymore and focus on yourself.

I'm sorry you're suffering so much.
I wish I could help you somehow.

Lots of hugs and love to you and hope you can feel better somehow.

Matt

 

[filtfarfar]

Damn lottery. Some people are just given diseases that will torture them their entire lives. And it is absolutely nothing you as a person can do about it. People who have not felt your suffering cannot possibly understand. This is why such people have no say when it comes to whether or not ctb should be sanctioned or not. Try not to look to much their way, it will only make your suffering worse.

 

[NormaJeane]

Det finns ingen mening med livet.

 

[HillWhereIWillRest]

Damn lottery. Some people are just given diseases that will torture them their entire lives. And it is absolutely nothing you as a person can do about it. People who have not felt your suffering cannot possibly understand. This is why such people have no say when it comes to whether or not ctb should be sanctioned or not. Try not to look to much their way, it will only make your suffering worse.

My family made me sick. I had a genetic predisposition to BPD and autoimmune illnesses, I might not have any of them, but my toxic and abusive parents triggered these diseases in my body.

When I tried to kill myself last year they saved me. When I left the hospital they were violent with me, locked me at home, said I needed to go to the mental hospital because I'm crazy and said I should have died.

I will never forget all their hateful words and looks.