Venting me and my s/o

[sweeterthanchocolat]

i have been in a relationship with my partner for a year and 7 months (we finished 7 months today) i don't remember much of it from the beginning but i think it was normal but the longer it lasted the less love was put into it everyday i wake up he'd be upset or something and i have to talk to him until he feels better or is asleep then i can do my own thing then once he wakes up he'd still be sad so i have to cheer him up again and rinse and repeat at first i didn't mind it because it only happened a couple times plus why wouldn't i be there for my partner but the longer the relationship lasted the less effort he put in giving me affection talking to me or just doing things with me in general and i know i sound very selfish but turns out being in a relationship where the only time the words i love you are used are when your partner is being pleased isn't the best thing for a person it has gotten to the point where he openly talks about loving a different person and i keep reassuring him that it's fine that he does but he talks about that loser so much i swear it's making me hate him even tho he's been my friend longer than my partner his depression episodes that happen twice a day or sometimes last an entire day are not his fault im not saying they are or anything i just don't know what to do if my partner fails to communicate with me when i let him know it's the only thing that's ruining our relationship (he keeps insisting there's nothing wrong with it) he doesn't talk to me unless he's upset and needs me to make him feel better like he's some sort of baby i keep forgetting what to type because i'm crying he keeps blaming everything on himself even tho i keep reassuring him that it is not his fault and considering how much stuff i have to deal with because i have my own life his problems are way too much for me i can't handle all that on my plate and i can't say anything about it and i can't leave him because i know he'll ctb and if i left him he can't go for the other person he likes because he doesn't love him and i know that but i haven't said anything i keep trying to convince him that he does because i don't want him to feel any worse but he doesn't believe me i feel as if i don't matter to him and i'm just a feel better machine or something and he's even told me one time that i don't even feel like a real human to him no matter how hard i try explaining things to him no matter how hard i try to make him feel better no matter how hard i do anything he will not listen you know the part where i said he refused to communicate i thought maybe if i just started talking to him he'll feel a little better and start talking to but no when i did when i started telling him everything and making him understand he just refused to believe me like for example "hey do you want item a" "no i like item b better" "no you don't i'm sure you like item a" which is just straight up annoying and i let him no but nope he will not stop and none of all of the things i listed felt as bad as when i ok as soon as i typed i completely forgot the entire thing so i'm just gonna post this it's too annoying and no one is gonna read it point is i don't know what to fucking do

 

[moya117]

i have been in a relationship with my partner for a year and 7 months (we finished 7 months today) i don't remember much of it from the beginning but i think it was normal but the longer it lasted the less love was put into it everyday i wake up he'd be upset or something and i have to talk to him until he feels better or is asleep then i can do my own thing then once he wakes up he'd still be sad so i have to cheer him up again and rinse and repeat at first i didn't mind it because it only happened a couple times plus why wouldn't i be there for my partner but the longer the relationship lasted the less effort he put in giving me affection talking to me or just doing things with me in general and i know i sound very selfish but turns out being in a relationship where the only time the words i love you are used are when your partner is being pleased isn't the best thing for a person it has gotten to the point where he openly talks about loving a different person and i keep reassuring him that it's fine that he does but he talks about that loser so much i swear it's making me hate him even tho he's been my friend longer than my partner his depression episodes that happen twice a day or sometimes last an entire day are not his fault im not saying they are or anything i just don't know what to do if my partner fails to communicate with me when i let him know it's the only thing that's ruining our relationship (he keeps insisting there's nothing wrong with it) he doesn't talk to me unless he's upset and needs me to make him feel better like he's some sort of baby i keep forgetting what to type because i'm crying he keeps blaming everything on himself even tho i keep reassuring him that it is not his fault and considering how much stuff i have to deal with because i have my own life his problems are way too much for me i can't handle all that on my plate and i can't say anything about it and i can't leave him because i know he'll ctb and if i left him he can't go for the other person he likes because he doesn't love him and i know that but i haven't said anything i keep trying to convince him that he does because i don't want him to feel any worse but he doesn't believe me i feel as if i don't matter to him and i'm just a feel better machine or something and he's even told me one time that i don't even feel like a real human to him no matter how hard i try explaining things to him no matter how hard i try to make him feel better no matter how hard i do anything he will not listen you know the part where i said he refused to communicate i thought maybe if i just started talking to him he'll feel a little better and start talking to but no when i did when i started telling him everything and making him understand he just refused to believe me like for example "hey do you want item a" "no i like item b better" "no you don't i'm sure you like item a" which is just straight up annoying and i let him no but nope he will not stop and none of all of the things i listed felt as bad as when i ok as soon as i typed i completely forgot the entire thing so i'm just gonna post this it's too annoying and no one is gonna read it point is i don't know what to fucking do

I really have no words... your situation is exactly one of the things that I'm scared to be faced at.
The fact that you're still holding into him even after HE ADMITTED TO LOVING ANOTHER PERSON, is just- idk, it's either that you love him that much and your love for him Is too pure or you're just attached, and you stay because of the guilt cause if you leave there's a chance that he'll commit the unthinkable (or a combination of all).
Whatever it is, your situation is really a tough one. it's gonna be long until you recover from this, but it is possible, I mean, look at you! still here and fighting till this day and time.

Focus on yourself more, listening to musics, maybe dress up for yourself and taking yourself out, play some games and all that.

Excuse my poor English, I really hope it makes sense lol cause I really want you to know that I DO CARE.

YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER

Whatever path you're gonna take, may you find peace and freedom <3

 

[StaticCryBabye]

It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time in your relationship. It is important to prioritize your own well-being and mental health in this situation. It is not selfish to have your own needs and to expect them to be met in a relationship.

It is concerning that your partner seems to be struggling with depression and is not taking any steps to manage. It is not your responsibility to be his sole source of support, especially if it is taking a toll on your own mental health.

You mentioned that you are afraid to leave your partner because you are worried he may harm himself. It is important to recognize that you cannot control his actions and that it is not your responsibility to prevent him from hurting himself.

In terms of your relationship, it may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you are feeling and the things that are bothering you. Communication is key in any relationship, and it is important to express your needs and boundaries.

Ultimately, the decision to stay in the relationship or leave is up to you. However, it is important to prioritize your own well-being and mental health, and to seek support from friends, family.