Maybe Soon

[the_final_countdown]

I was recovering my suicidal impulses. Starting to rebuild my life. I really was.

But my health has deteriorated in an unexpected way recently.

I've always taken good care of my teeth. Electric toothbrush, low sugar diet, etc.

Had a checkup in November. No cavities. Everything was good.

But I developed an autoimmune condition, a terrible reaction to medicine that damaged my body so terribly including my vision and sexual function, and left me in psychological agony and despair for months. Tinnitus, vertigo, and bodily damage from the autoimmune disease. Dry eyes (imagine sand in your eyes always. Just chronic pain).

But okay. That's fine. I recovered. Somehow.

But now...The stomach infection that originally caused by autoimmune problems has caused acid to spill into my mouth.

I tried everything...but I couldn't stop the destruction of my enamel.

And now I have cavities. Everywhere. And it's just pain.

And I can't stop it. And I know the pain will become worse.

Because tooth pain is pain incarnate.

I'm going to the dentist. Obviously. Of course.

But there's no miracle cures. It's just going to be suffering. For years.

I don't want that. I don't want to be tortured.

I'm going to end it before it progresses too far...

When the pain becomes unbearable, I'll have the energy to overcome SI.

I have everything ready.

I don't want to go...I don't want to go...But I'm not going to be tortured...No. I'm not going to live my life like that...endless agony.

 

[Sensei]

Is there no treatment for your pain? Or are you resistant or allergic to strong painkillers?

 

[deadinsideforever]

Like you I also have also, through illness, ( I have a chronic pain disorder too) had problems with my teeth. I basically am left with missing or broken back teeth and my front aren't the best either. I know how miserable it can make you feel, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, if you ever want a chat feel free to message me. My body may be crapped out but I'm a good listener

 

[the_final_countdown]

Is there no treatment for your pain? Or are you resistant or allergic to strong painkillers?

I'm going to seek all the medical attention I can to repair my teeth

I'm just overreacting because I've experienced so much damage to my body and I don't want to experience more pain.

I can't stop the acid reflux no matter what I take. It's slowly stripping away the enamel. Cavities have set in within a few weeks.

Tooth infections, root canals, infections.

It's all just suffering. I don't want to go through that.

I'm just so tired...

Like you I also have also, through illness, ( I have a chronic pain disorder too) had problems with my teeth. I basically am left with missing or broken back teeth and my front aren't the best either. I know how miserable it can make you feel, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, if you ever want a chat feel free to message me. My body may be crapped out but I'm a good listener

It's okay...I don't want to be here anyways.

I want to take advantage of the pain so it pushes me over the edge. Enough to kill myself.

You few souls maybe can understand me.

The medication I took damaged my hormones and had a drastic effect on my body. But it left me in psychological agony for months. I couldn't feel happiness. It was all despair. Constant headaches. It even damaged my optic nerves.

Naps left me shaking.

And finally...two weeks ago the despair disappeared. After four months. I was lying catatonic on the floor trying to end my life.

And now this? It's too much. It's too much God.

Does someone want me dead?

No more suffering. I'm tired of it.

If it gets worse I'm killing myself.

I will not...experience that level of suffering again...never again.

I die on my own terms. As a man with some dignity still left.

A final fuck you to fate.

 

[deadinsideforever]

I'm going to seek all the medical attention I can to repair my teeth

I'm just overreacting because I've experienced so much damage to my body and I don't want to experience more pain.

I can't stop the acid reflux no matter what I take. It's slowly stripping away the enamel. Cavities have set in within a few weeks.

Tooth infections, root canals, infections.

It's all just suffering. I don't want to go through that.

I'm just so tired...

It's okay...I don't want to be here anyways.

I want to take advantage of the pain so it pushes me over the edge. Enough to kill myself.

You few souls maybe can understand me.

The medication I took damaged my hormones and had a drastic effect on my body. But it left me in psychological agony for months. I couldn't feel happiness. It was all despair. Constant headaches. It even damaged my optic nerves.

Naps left me shaking.

And finally...two weeks ago the despair disappeared. After four months. I was lying catatonic on the floor trying to end my life.

And now this? It's too much. It's too much God.

Does someone want me dead?

No more suffering. I'm tired of it.

If it gets worse I'm killing myself.

I will not...experience that level of suffering again...never again.

I die on my own terms. As a man with some dignity still left.

A final fuck you to fate.

I wish there were something I could say but I know that level of despair, and refuse to give empty platitudes. Offer of an ear stands.

 

[Somage]

just take the lot out and get false teeth man this was common practise anyway in the old days as everyones teeth rotted, problem solved