Maybe I should be a monster

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

So yesterday I pulled the avoid card on my brother. You should have seen how he quickly turned all love doves. Begging me for forgiveness, wanting to "help me", to be there for me, etc. Pathetic. I know if I accept him now he'll only abuse me again. I told him point blank that I cant trust him anymore.

Maybe I'm just too nice. I have always been told that. It might be time for me to stand up and fight for myself. But im kinda cowardly so maybe I should die lol

 

[icanhasnick]

A few hours ago there was someone all concerned that he IS a monster. Now there's you all worried that maybe you SHOULD BE a monster. Maybe you could partner up and find a middle ground together ?

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Thats what im afraid of. Because, he will eventually hurt me and abuse me again after being all nice
Like I feel its either I am close to him and I eventually get abused, or I just protect myself to reman sane. I dont think there is a middle ground

 

[icanhasnick]

I didn't mean you with your brother. I meant, you "maybe wanting to be a monster" and the other dude who showed up on the same day all concerned that "he is a monster": https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/im-a-monster.47525/

I mean, if he is and you want to be, you could team up!

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

You aren't obligated to like your brother regardless of his age especially if he abuses you.

 

[SipSop]

So yesterday I pulled the avoid card on my brother. You should have seen how he quickly turned all love doves. Begging me for forgiveness, wanting to "help me", to be there for me, etc. Pathetic. I know if I accept him now he'll only abuse me again. I told him point blank that I cant trust him anymore.

Maybe I'm just too nice. I have always been told that. It might be time for me to stand up and fight for myself. But im kinda cowardly so maybe I should die lol

Is difficult. It seems you go against your nature.
For them is easy, like breathing. But for us, the empathetic ones is like we stab them to defend ourselves but it is a double edge sword. We stab them but we get equal amount of pain. As we understand their hurt, their pain. And we do not want to inflict it on others.
A problem that they do not have.

 

[DyingAlf]

Thats what im afraid of. Because, he will eventually hurt me and abuse me again after being all nice
Like I feel its either I am close to him and I eventually get abused, or I just protect myself to reman sane. I dont think there is a middle ground

Protecting yourself doesn't make you a monster.
Avoiding someone (your bro in this case) or cutting them out of your life entirely, if that's possible, does not make you a bad/horrible person.
I hope you find a way to protect yourself.

 

[Meditation guide]

Like I feel its either I am close to him and I eventually get abused, or I just protect myself to reman sane.

It's not a hard decision is it to protect yourself? He sounds like a narcissist. Just observe him without being emotionally tied to him. Realize what he is. Don't ever forget it. In my opinion they are not human. It's high time you toughened up if this is what life has handed you. Become a tough bitch.

 

[Ghost2211]

Keep in mind abusers tend to have a cool down period where they are nice to you and sorry for what they do. Sometimes it's an act, and sometimes it genuine. They will go back to their own ways when the dust settles regardless. It's complicated when they are a sibling or housemate. It's ok to love them, and to be nice to them, but i would never be vulnerable with them again. you can be kind and guarded, and you don't have to become them.