Discussion (maybe controversial?) opinion on public suicide

[dustbiter]

i know everyone has different views and reasons for things, but does anyone else really dislike public suicide in most situations? ;~;

i realize some people are really hurting and view society as responsible for it, or maybe for not helping or supporting them, like i understand the view point.

but like… idk!! i dont want to traumatize random people because of my own pain, regardless of how i feel about society or other people ;w;.

i dont want to be the thing that pushes a stranger to feel like i do. i have no desire to make others feel this pain; i even feel bad for the first responders who'd have to come get my body!

idk, i understand the pain of a person willing to ctb that way, but you cant know what mental state the people around you might be in, yknow? id much rather do it in private and minimize the amount of people who'll see me, tbh.

maybe it's not a popular opinion, idk, but it's what i think ;w;!!

 

[HiImPaul]

Yeah I'd rather ctb in private to minimize the number of people that are traumatized.

 

[Pluto]

Yes, most people here take ethical considerations into account. It is the sign of a good heart to care about others even when there is nothing to lose.

Of course, there are those who don't feel that they have the resources to account for others in a time of utter desperation, or perhaps want their death to make a statement of anger towards the world. That can happen.

 

[wanttogetonthebus]

I'd say most members of the forum are probably against public CBT, but I think it's a personal choice. A choice that bears a lot of consequences that everyone should think about beforehand because it could hurt or traumatize the people around you. Not to mention you're much more likely to fail or accidentally harm others when others are around who could interfere with the CBT process.

 

[SamuelClemens400]

Idk, I suppose context matters here. Like I personally wouldnt want my death to be public because I dont want someone interveining and stopping me. I dont really have a problem if people want to make a statement with their deaths though. Like in the 60s when that buddhist monk from vietnam did some self-immolation.

 

[motel rooms]

Sometimes people have no other choice but to hang themselves from a tree or jump...

 

[dustbiter]

Idk, I suppose context matters here. Like I personally wouldnt want my death to be public because I dont want someone interveining and stopping me. I dont really have a problem if people want to make a statement with their deaths though. Like in the 60s when that buddhist monk from vietnam did some self-immolation.

i agree!! but i also think wanting to make your death globally impactful for a political stance against injustice and subjugation is different than, say, shooting oneself in public because you want to shock onlookers or just dont care how it might affect them •3•

 

[SamuelClemens400]

i agree!! but i also think wanting to make your death globally impactful for a political stance against injustice and subjugation is different than, say, shooting oneself in public because you want to shock onlookers or just dont care how it might affect them •3•

Right, thats why context matters. I honestly am not of fan of purposfully vague question like that. Its sort of like the ship of thesius ya know?

 

[Someone123]

i know everyone has different views and reasons for things, but does anyone else really dislike public suicide in most situations? ;~;

i realize some people are really hurting and view society as responsible for it, or maybe for not helping or supporting them, like i understand the view point.

but like… idk!! i dont want to traumatize random people because of my own pain, regardless of how i feel about society or other people ;w;.

i dont want to be the thing that pushes a stranger to feel like i do. i have no desire to make others feel this pain; i even feel bad for the first responders who'd have to come get my body!

idk, i understand the pain of a person willing to ctb that way, but you cant know what mental state the people around you might be in, yknow? id much rather do it in private and minimize the amount of people who'll see me, tbh.

maybe it's not a popular opinion, idk, but it's what i think ;w;!!
View attachment 80767

I know some people think that, but I don't think that this is likely to affect someone this way- I think people ctb based on issues in their own lives. It is so hard to ctb, considering the risks of failure with even higher percentage methods, that this just couldn't be a factor for me. Just by chance the higher percentage methods available to me, sn and fs, are methods best done in private, at least on my location.

 

[PTSDPigeon]

a woman threw herself from a building and nearly landed on top of me. She jumped to her death from her 6th story window and landed within feet of me. As I didn't know her, I wasn't traumatized. I learned more about her, afterwards. I could see her anxiety, illness and understood. She left behind a community (community housing environment) where everyone did know her of know of her. They weren't affected.

I've never considered public suicide. I don't think it appeals. The closest I came was getting a hotel room to throw myself from the balcony (withdrew) and going into a construction site late at night to jump. Not so public, but kind-of.

I don't recommend suicide, period. Another day to live always has something pretty to offer, after you come out of the hurricane. Another might follow, but there's always something there (dog to pet, view, hike) that I'm eventually emotionally available for again after some time.

If I ever CTB, I know it will be sudden and reactive (as my previous attempts have been unplanned and CRAZY in nature). I surprised myself with them. And only hurt myself in the act. Didn't tell anyone, nobody knew.

 

[Meretlein]

I don't condemn public suicides because society does everything it can to restrict information and access to more peaceful methods. This causes many people to have to act in moments of desperation instead of taking the time to plan their peaceful exits. In addition to this, people who do not have the knowledge expressed in the PPH are stuck picking mostly brutal methods. Who am I to judge them if they picked a method that involved the least amount of pain and horror for them personally? All of their options were horrible, they just chose the most palatable one.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

I understand your perspective and I agree that a public suicide can be incredibly traumatic for witnesses and the bereaved. However, I do not feel comfortable judging a person who is in such a desperate position that they feel jumping off a building or bridge, lying on a train track, hanging from a tree etc are the only options they have. I am not under the impression that the majority of people in that situation are simply uncaring, merely desperate, in tremendous pain, lacking resources or a combination of these factors.

I will admit that prior to joining SS, I had planned to die by train. This isn't something I took lightly, and it was a method which brought much guilt, shame and inner turmoil. I worked out where I would go on the train track, the quietest times so that the fewest people were impacted and various other relevant details in hopes of minimising the impact as much as possible. I planned it meticulously with others in mind. I hated the thought of hurting anyone else, but I was so desperate that I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't hang myself, jump from anywhere high enough, acquire a firearm etc. It's a level of desperation and despair I wouldn't wish on anyone.

It is thanks to SS that I did not pursue this plan and found a more suitable method that I can use when I feel ready in the safety of my own home, but had I not found (and been able to access) the right resources, I wouldn't have known of the better options available. I can completely understand how others can be pushed into a corner and left with the awful decision to utilise a frightening, graphic and potentially painful method. Of course I feel for those who may be traumatised in the aftermath, but I also genuinely empathise with those who die in such ways and am only saddened that they are pushed to that point. These methods can be awfully traumatic for those who use them too, before, during and in the aftermath if they survive.

I blame society for providing inadequate intervention, prevention and support to begin with, restricting access to peaceful alternatives, stigmatising and institutionalising the suicidal and putting them in a position where they are unable to die on their own terms, irrespective of their circumstances and their suffering. This is the end result, and it's barbaric. We treat our pets with more compassion. No-one should ever have to resort to these methods. People deserve compassion and support to live, and dignity in death. They deserve options and the opportunity to make an informed choice.

 

[koweday]

I agree, I would never want my death to be public.

My cousin ctb four years ago. He hated my uncle (his father) and hung himself in his garage thinking my uncle would find him. He didn't. Our sweet grandparents, who were housing my cousin, were the first ones to come looking for him and were the ones to find him. They were beyond devastated. My cousin never would have done this if he knew they'd be the ones to find his body. He loved them so much.

On the other side of things, my friend ctb two years ago (almost exactly to the date of my cousin). He died in a national park with another person and they wrote an email to the local police stating their plan before downing tranquilizer. The police received this email and were the ones to find them as a direct result.

Based on these personal experiences, I would definitely write the police to ensure no public had to find me. My friend sent a timed email so he'd have to option to cancel the send if the attempt wasn't successful. I feel like this is the best way to go.

 

[PrincessInWhite]

I just couldn't, the thought of random people witnessing that is so horrifying to me for so many reasons. And even worse if it involves someone being forced to kill me against their will (jumping in front of trains or cars, etc) is even more horrific to me

 

[motel rooms]

I don't recommend suicide, period. Another day to live always has something pretty to offer, after you come out of the hurricane.

Oh Lord...

 

[PTSDPigeon]

Well, I can't look. Even if I become suicidal - have felt that way for years. I cannot tell someone "bye". That's too hard. Watching a person on this forum mid-suicide rattled me. I'm sorry. Life matters to me. People deserve words of encouragement, not discouragement.

It takes all types.

Everyone has a voice, that's mine.

Well, I can't look. Even if I become suicidal - have felt that way for years. I cannot tell someone "bye". That's too hard. Watching a person on this forum mid-suicide rattled me. I'm sorry. Life matters to me. People deserve words of encouragement, not discouragement.

It takes all types.

Everyone has a voice, that's mine.

yes, i've attempted. Even recently. Some people can recover. At least for some years or temporarily. Yes, they can.

 

[motel rooms]

Life matters to me. People deserve words of encouragement, not discouragement.

People deserve to do whatever the hell they want with their lives. Life matters to me too. People's suffering matters to me even more. Please don't assume that "another day to live always has something pretty to offer" to everyone & that we all "come out of the hurricane"...

I don't recommend suicide, period.

Are you sure you're pro-choice?

 

[HeckingHecked]

I don't condemn public suicides because society does everything it can to restrict information and access to more peaceful methods. This causes many people to have to act in moments of desperation instead of taking the time to plan their peaceful exits. In addition to this, people who do not have the knowledge expressed in the PPH are stuck picking mostly brutal methods. Who am I to judge them if they picked a method that involved the least amount of pain and horror for them personally? All of their options were horrible, they just chose the most palatable one.

What is PPH?

 

[dustbiter]

What is PPH?

peaceful pill handbook :p

 

[HeckingHecked]

peacefull pill handbook :p

Ah.

 

[PTSDPigeon]

People deserve to do whatever the hell they want with their lives. Life matters to me too. People's suffering matters to me even more. Please don't assume that "another day to live always has something pretty to offer" to everyone & that we all "come out of the hurricane"...



Are you sure you're pro-choice?

yes, I think people have a right. I've lost good friends to suicide and seen a lot of it. I've seen plenty of suffering and understand when enough is enough and empathize with people in so much pain (mental illness, physical ailments, terminal illness) that they're left with no other choice. I've got experience and have self-harmed abruptly without a plan. I had NO SELF CONTROL and don't take responsibility for my out of control pain. I had to. I didn't die. I didn't tell anybody. I got up a few days later and went back to work quietly, to work another year of 75/hr workweeks, isolated. Ok. And I'm pro-choice for women. Nobody needs to make women have a baby, assign them a husband, refer to them as "go in peace now, you've been washed", or something to GIVE to.

I'm very pro-choice.

I'm only speaking from my own experience because I've had GOOD TIMES also and tried to make the most of a poor situation. I'm just saying what has helped me. People on this forum helped me find alternative methods to suicide (such as CBT - which I'm starting to learn about for "self-help" with anxiety / panic / PTSD - whatever I HAVE) and I'm refreshed when I'm encouraged by other people who send me sweet email messages letting me know that they care. I feel connected to somebody when I don't feel like being seen.

I am PRO-CHOICE but I will RAISE MY HAND and SUGGEST that they TAKE THAT PILL AND FLUSH it when they're half-way thru a suicide attempt. I cannot morally do anything, but say "NO". "Don't leave". "I love you".

People DO RECOVER (or go into "remission" and I've seen people get up and live fulfilling lives again - imperfect. It is HORRIBLE to watch people suffer.

(NOTE: i edited this with "I WILL RAISE MY HAND". I will not watch someone mid-suicide attempt or with a loaded weapon to their head and not make some kind of reference to "well, maybe we can take a shower" or "maybe we can go for a walk". Clouds have cleared for me, even if temporarily before the next storm rolls in and I'm in my room lighting carbon monoxide lamps or drinking myself unconscious to deal with anxiety, panic, isolation, fear, abandonment, child-abuse, sexual abuse, oppression of women, getting old, fear of dying in the street, family relations, "pervasive thoughts", overwork, OCD, a maze that I can't get out of, a chanting in my head of "you're crazy, you imagined it". When I have a good day, I try to make it last and make the next one better so I don't become suicidal again. i've struggled with suicide now for more than a decade and a half. I don't anticipate it changing. I will INTERJECT and have seen people stop mid-effort (half pills now, half later) and understand. I've had botched attempts myself or I wouldn't be here. Life is a rollercoaster - some times it's too much and can't be handled - some "have to go". Ok. There.

 

[wanttogetonthebus]

a woman threw herself from a building and nearly landed on top of me. She jumped to her death from her 6th story window and landed within feet of me. As I didn't know her, I wasn't traumatized. I learned more about her, afterwards. I could see her anxiety, illness and understood. She left behind a community (community housing environment) where everyone did know her of know of her. They weren't affected.

I've never considered public suicide. I don't think it appeals. The closest I came was getting a hotel room to throw myself from the balcony (withdrew) and going into a construction site late at night to jump. Not so public, but kind-of.

I don't recommend suicide, period. Another day to live always has something pretty to offer, after you come out of the hurricane. Another might follow, but there's always something there (dog to pet, view, hike) that I'm eventually emotionally available for again after some time.

If I ever CTB, I know it will be sudden and reactive (as my previous attempts have been unplanned and CRAZY in nature). I surprised myself with them. And only hurt myself in the act. Didn't tell anyone, nobody knew.

I just wanted to add that there was a suicidal teen who jumped off a freeway bridge in the news once. He survived but he fell through the windshield of a passing car and killed the passenger. The passenger was a young woman, a therapist and social worker who had just finished her degree program if I recall correctly, and found her passion in and wanted to dedicate her life to helping troubled teens. The irony.

 

[motel rooms]

I just wanted to add that there was a suicidal teen who jumped off a freeway bridge in the news once. He survived but he fell through the windshield of a passing car and killed the passenger. The passenger was a young woman, a therapist and social worker who had just finished her degree program if I recall correctly, and found her passion in and wanted to dedicate her life to helping troubled teens. The irony.

Well, she did help him survive. I'm sorry...

 

[wanttogetonthebus]

Well, she did help him survive. I'm sorry...

Omg you're actually right ...!

 

[PTSDPigeon]

I just wanted to add that there was a suicidal teen who jumped off a freeway bridge in the news once. He survived but he fell through the windshield of a passing car and killed the passenger. The passenger was a young woman, a therapist and social worker who had just finished her degree program if I recall correctly, and found her passion in and wanted to dedicate her life to helping troubled teens. The irony.

People who work in these fields endure a lot. I know a woman who threw away her business degree to help her community. In addition to recent suicide attempts (she showed me the scars running up and down her arms) she works with the mentally ill completely CONTENT convinced there's nothing else that she can do with her life. They have cups of urine thrown on them, watch people OD around them constantly, take verbal abuse, watch pain and suffering.

She's one of the most dedicated people I've ever met.

She was recently FIRED from a job because she had to go to the ER complaining of an ailment to find out she had cancer. She called in LATE.

And was right back out to look for another job serving the mentally ill. Unaffected.

That's self-sacrifice

Needless to say, i told her she should do something else for while - well; she can't.

Living dead / suicide / too hard to be around. How sweet.

So, are you pro-choice or not? It's not a hard question to answer.

2nd time - YES. I responded above. I'm still pro-choice.

I have watched friends ROT in their own bodies - going slowly insane, poisoned by pills to cope with a trauma that was not addressed, tossed into the street while mid-college. I've seen them rot and suffer. Incapable of adapting. Rot. I mean, eyes HAZED over with fluff growing in the corner of their mouths. So out of it, they were incapable of behaving anymore like much more than a zombie. Completely out of touch with reality. Extremely fearful, never leaving the situation that got them there. Nobody to help them, just a slew of meds. Wearing the same clothes for a year. Wandering the streets - nobody noticed them. Well, they died. They went completely insane. The jumped from ledges. Nobody cared. I could never call that anything but torturing a person to her death who doesn't even know who she is anymore - due to an event. Or maybe layers of events. Yes, I'm pro-choice.

I would prefer to see the person supported than get to that point and people helped. Housed, given opportunity to find therapy or self-help.

Everyone has reasons for needing to be in their niche. That (friend) couldn't cope.

I have my "allergies" also and B/W thinking patterns.

I've also seen people who are "just fine" with full blown AIDS who live with hip surgery replacements the gov't gave them. Grateful for every day. They didn't want help, support, better. They were never suicidal.

I've seen heroin addicts with needs for surgery treated like shit. Never suicidal. Always has a family member to give 'em a ride to a clinic.

Mental problems are bad. I've said before that I'd be happier if they'd cut my legs off and get rid of my burning brain.

I'm pro-choice and don't think losing your mind is anything but disabling.

But I will not stand there and help.

 

[Kyrok]

I don't recommend suicide, period. Another day to live always has something pretty to offer, after you come out of the hurricane. Another might follow, but there's always something there (dog to pet, view, hike) that I'm eventually emotionally available for again after some time.

Have you considered situations where people are in severe pain and beyond help? Severe physical pain after opioids become ineffective, cancer pain, or what about someone with sexual felonies with no hope for a job or relationship? People who have lived decades suffering with severe mental or physical illness?

I suspect you don't know what a life of persistent agony is like.

Further, it becomes irrational to hang on to life for fleeting positives when the evidence overwhelms that the future will be profoundly negative. Life isn't always worth living and it can become an informed, mature, and rational decision to end it.

Maybe only a fraction of all suicides fit the above, but some do and in my opinion, SS is the sole community online which treats those with respect, acceptance, community and love without alterior motive to get a "save" notch on one's belt.

We are "there" for people who have chosen to die, showing them acceptance.

Try being there for someone ready to kill themselves rather than suffering yet another round of chemo, or someone who is facing life in prison for a DUI homicide. Try showing them love on THEIR terms, for only such love is real.

 

[motel rooms]

I'm pro-choice and don't think losing your mind is anything but disabling.

But I will not stand there and help.

Did anyone in this thread suggest that you should help people ctb?

 

[PTSDPigeon]

Did anyone in this thread suggest that you should help people ctb?

No, I am still upset. That is all. I get upset. People need care and compassion. They need roofs over their head and support. They need medical care, treatment and help. People don't get better wandering around alienated by family, friends thinking about where they are going to sleep, wondering who they are dragging themselves into rooms-by-the-week wasting disability checks (common in cities like San Francisco, LA, etc.) and don't deserve hopelessness or helplessness. I saw it happen and I'm still upset. I went thru it. Luckily, I didn't crumble, completely. I have good days and bad days. Nobody asked me to help. Sometimes people get better. It's just a whim.

There's people who think about it and people who are impulsive, also.

There's differences.

I've seen people suffer long-term who would have bettered from support.

I lost a friend and I'm still upset. She didn't need to die.

 

[motel rooms]

I've seen people suffer long-term who would have bettered from support.

I lost a friend and I'm still upset. She didn't need to die.

I'm sorry for your loss. Yes, a lot of people can get better if they receive concrete help, not just a condescending pat on the head & a bunch of empty pretty words.

 

[PTSDPigeon]

I'm sorry for your loss. Yes, a lot of people can get better if they receive concrete help, not just a condescending pat on the head & a bunch of empty pretty words.

I'm not a therapist and have no idea what else should be expected of me. I'm a human being who has no experience with therapy trying to stay away from suicidal urges with a hard life.

I'm only human - we all are.

Some nice words from some people on this forum gave me the spark I needed to get out of bed and lift my head out of a 3.5 week seemingly (more common, lately) "manic" crazy following a traumatic event.

It was nice to receive pictures, words of encouragement - even have someone there to listen to my repetitious babble. I have been outside the last two days, cooked, showered, exercised and took the nice words to heart.