Manic episodes makes me unstable. Killing myself would be safe and benefit everyone.

[OOUUneverover]

I'm not a good person. Not at all. I try to be but that doesn't change what I've already done. Killing myself would be an act of justice. It would be an act of safety, too. It's difficult to get over the survival instinct mental block, unless I'm in a manic episode. At that point I feel dissociated enough to make a move. But I rarely get them at a good time. People are usually around, I haven't finished writing a note, hell I haven't even decided which method I will use! (I'm leaning towards a gun though, I'm terrified of any other method leaving me alive with brain damage).