man i put my pizza in fridge and thought it was the microwave

[Slimetae]

i've been doing shit like this recently just putting shit were it's not supposed to be shits funny .

 

[WhitePill]

similar thing happened to me the other day. I put a pot of rice in the microwave thinking it was the fridge.

 

[Julgran]

i've been doing shit like this recently just putting shit were it's not supposed to be shits funny .

Man....you put pizza in the fridge retarded.... never go full retard (a modified joke from Tropic Thunder)

I have made coffee without any coffee beans.... I made coffee retarded

 

[narval]

worse is being half asleep and mistaking the trash can for the toilet

 

[whatevs]

haha depression goes brrr and brain does a funny

 

[Insomniac]

worse is being half asleep and mistaking the trash can for the toilet

so you sit on the trash can? you must have a comfortable trash can in your restroom

 

[narval]

so you sit on the trash can? you must have a comfortable trash can in your restroom

I woke up, i walk to de kitchen, i did something in the trash (fortunately i didn't sit) and, well, garbage bag did not leak.

Gross XD

 

[Insomniac]

I woke up, i walk to de kitchen, i did something in the trash (fortunately i didn't sit) and, well, garbage bag did not leak.

Gross XD

wow. you must've been drunk the night before or your house/appartment is really small.

I really can't relate because every morning, I'm stuck in the same dream of me trying very hard to pee on the toilet seat but can't. I eventually wake and realize I can't pee because I'm actually in bed. So even desperate in a dream I wouldn't pee anywhere else other than on a toilet seat.

no I know this whole post started off as a joke but I have to be serious here and share a deep struggle of mine that was triggered by your joke: I really cannot pee anywhere else other than on a toilet seat. Idk if this is a disorder of something but I remember during road trips how everyone could pee in the woods but even though I was desperate to pee, the pee wouldn't come out. So I'd spend the whole trip in a state of despair and frustration.

anyway, I just wanted to say that I admire you.

 

[narval]

wow. you must've been drunk the night before or your house/appartment is really small.

I really can't relate because every morning, I'm stuck in the same dream of me trying very hard to pee on the toilet seat but can't. I eventually wake and realize I can't pee because I'm actually in bed. So even desperate in a dream I wouldn't pee anywhere else other than on a toilet seat.

no I know this whole post started off as a joke but I have to be serious here and share a deep struggle of mine that was triggered by your joke: I really cannot pee anywhere else other than on a toilet seat. Idk if this is a disorder of something but I remember during road trips how everyone could pee in the woods but even though I was desperate to pee, the pee wouldn't come out. So I'd spend the whole trip in a state of despair and frustration.

anyway, I just wanted to say that I admire you.

In fact, i wasn't drunk the night before. If i'm half asleep, i'm able to make simple things like a automaton. Even if i got injuries (true history). Once, before to go to drink water, I cut myself with the bedroom window frame and didn't realize what really happened until the next day when my shoulder started to hurt.

wow. you must've been drunk the night before or your house/appartment is really small.

I really can't relate because every morning, I'm stuck in the same dream of me trying very hard to pee on the toilet seat but can't. I eventually wake and realize I can't pee because I'm actually in bed. So even desperate in a dream I wouldn't pee anywhere else other than on a toilet seat.

no I know this whole post started off as a joke but I have to be serious here and share a deep struggle of mine that was triggered by your joke: I really cannot pee anywhere else other than on a toilet seat. Idk if this is a disorder of something but I remember during road trips how everyone could pee in the woods but even though I was desperate to pee, the pee wouldn't come out. So I'd spend the whole trip in a state of despair and frustration.

anyway, I just wanted to say that I admire you.

And about pee, as far as i inow, some people have certain mental block for those things. I can't recall the mecanism, but it isn't strange

 

[rationaltake]

I woke up, i walk to de kitchen, i did something in the trash (fortunately i didn't sit) and, well, garbage bag did not leak.

Gross XD

You have better garbage bags than I do then!

 

[GlassAlwaysEmpty]

I'm always trying to find my phone only to realise it's my hand already. Think a lot of us do that though, at least that's what i tell myself

 

[castler]

i've been doing shit like this recently just putting shit were it's not supposed to be shits funny .

what chu smokin, I want some!

 

[Slimetae]

what chu smokin, I want some!

the crazy thing is i quit smoking weed and still be doing pretty dumb shit

 

[lofticries]

Lol one time I tried to open the door to the break room of my old job using my car keys. You have to use a code to open it.

 

[GentleJerk]

Respect. Cold pizza is the bomb!

 

[veryhappyhuman]

I'm slightly ahead. I'll place the dish in the microwave, carefully in the center so it gets evenly heated, then close the door and just... walk away. After 2 mins when it doesn't ding I'd be like "shit is the power out again" only to realize I never pressed the goddamn START BUTTON! It has happened so many times recently it's starting to annoy me lol.