Making the switch from partial to full suspension

[lonesomedrifter]

My time is getting near and I can't go on for longer. Tuesday the 15th will be a tipping point for me. If I don't get good news that day, then I'm done. In the past I've experimented a lot with partial hanging and got near passing out, but my SI always kicked in. My next attempt will be a full suspension. I have the perfect anchor point (wooden beams from my ceiling), just have to choose a rope, probably this weekend. I wrote down stuff to motivate and encourage me to ctb. I know the next few days will also be torture for me mentally, so I'll have enough courage to do it. I'm trying to shut down my care for this world and anything else. I'm not worried about the person that will find my body. I hate him and he hates me, so I really don't care. He abused me and he deserves to see what that lead to, the reality of his actions towards me.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I wish you the best in what you decide.

 

[JesiBel]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It's so unfair that some people deliberately decide to hurt you and ruin your life.

If you think you're not ready yet, that's okay. Don't force yourself to do it. If you want to talk and calm down, this is a good place. We're here.

If not.. I hope everything goes as you planned. I wish you luck and peace. Hugs.

 

[Aminep]

how are you? you still around?