Making subconscious decisions to make ctb easier

[BringMeToLife]

Cutting people off, setting a possible date, buying SN "just in case", spending less money, giving up hobbies, preparing my partner for my disappearance, taking less and less care of myself, delaying plans of getting a driver's license in case money spend on it go to waste after I ctb... I don't know if I will ctb, I don't want to do it to by partner, but what if?...