L
lostlove
Member
- Aug 20, 2024
- 17
i believe i must ctb. i am very very tired. my life has not gone well and i do not have the energy to fight anymore. i feel my life is devoid of anything that might give it meaning.
but at the same time, there is still some part of me that fears death.
i am worried that dying will be painful, despite planning on taking N. i am also worried at the last moment i will change my mind and it will be too late, or that i will live and suffer brain damage from the attempt.
i am also worried i will get to bolivia and be unable to acquire N. going to bolivia will take most of my savings so if i cannot find N there i will be completely stranded.
but at the same time, there is still some part of me that fears death.
i am worried that dying will be painful, despite planning on taking N. i am also worried at the last moment i will change my mind and it will be too late, or that i will live and suffer brain damage from the attempt.
i am also worried i will get to bolivia and be unable to acquire N. going to bolivia will take most of my savings so if i cannot find N there i will be completely stranded.