Magic mushrooms as a way to avoid SI?

[2CTBorNOCTB]

So, I've seen that psilocybin has been discussed as a means of treating depression, but I'd like to give tale of my experience.

I've taken magic mushrooms a number of times before. I grew some a month back, and a couple of days ago I decided to take 5g dried, as a sort of final resort.

During the trip, I was at first anxious, but that dissipated into calm, and at some point in the trip, I lost myself. It felt as if I was communing with an entity that resides right at the cusp of existence/non-existence. I felt sorrow from it, because of the loss if I were to die, but there was also compassion, for the reasons I've chosen what I'm doing, and ultimately, acceptance. That it wouldn't begrudge me my decision of joining back with the void. All this felt very calming, and I think if I had decided to CTB right then and there I very much would have done it no issue.

I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. I've never really experienced something like that before. It could be argued that my mind chose to show me what it needed to just to calm me but...it was effective.

I'm now planning on taking 3g of mushies before I CTB. Might be risky since it makes me nauseous, but if I can experience something like what I did a couple of nights back, it would be worth it.

 

[MYStERY_Man]

Shrooms are weird. On 6 g I remember thinking it was too much and that I had to CTB immediately to stop the experience. After some back and forth trying to convince myself that I could simply wait a few hours (or an eternity, depending on the perspective), I finally concluded I had CTB by jumping out the window and I was laying dead on the floor. Eventually I ended up accepting that I was simply tripping balls and allowed the experience to take place. Only after surrendering is that it became positive. The afterglow was great, but faded away.

On 3 g, the experience was more intense than I expected and, again, I wanted to quit. But right as I thought of CTB, I was suddenly convinced of quantum immortality and believed it would be worthless to even try. So I took a cab to the ER, but realized I was just panicking and went back home.

On 2 g I'm like: everything is chill and beautiful... and I really want to die, but death can wait a little longer. Meanwhile, let's try some new stuff in life.

 

[albino_elk]

Shrooms are weird. On 6 g I remember thinking it was too much and that I had to CTB immediately to stop the experience. After some back and forth trying to convince myself that I could simply wait a few hours (or an eternity, depending on the perspective), I finally concluded I had CTB by jumping out the window and I was laying dead on the floor. Eventually I ended up accepting that I was simply tripping balls and allowed the experience to take place. Only after surrendering is that it became positive. The afterglow was great, but faded away.

On 3 g, the experience was more intense than I expected and, again, I wanted to quit. But right as I thought of CTB, I was suddenly convinced of quantum immortality and believed it would be worthless to even try. So I took a cab to the ER, but realized I was just panicking and went back home.

On 2 g I'm like: everything is chill and beautiful... and I really want to die, but death can wait a little longer. Meanwhile, let's try some new stuff in life.

your exp on 2g was simmilar to mine but i was on 400ug lsd. i was telling to myself that i need to die :D ,but everythings beutiful so death can wait... don't ctb on shrooms or lsd..

 

[hahabye]

The closest I ever came to ctb was during my 10g trip. It just made the realisation of how much I want to die so much stronger. And I felt more ready. The main reason I didn't do it was because I felt I still had things to prep before dying.

I don't think I would want to be tripping once I actually do ctb though. But this experience was a good way to push me further and lessen my general SI.

 

[catch99]

That's a recipe for a bad trip. It would make the process of CTB a lot harder

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Just curious what strain did you use ?

I've heard a lot of great things about Golden Teacher and plan to buy some.

 

[Werther's Spirit]

It was the worst short term experience of my life, but it brought the emotional pain I had every night to an endurable limit. It actually made me not kill myself for many years afterwards. Not sure if it was a good idea.. I too more than you and I didn't speak to any being.

 

[MYStERY_Man]

Just curious what strain did you use ?

I've heard a lot of great things about Golden Teacher and plan to buy some.

P. mexicana for me.

The store isn't selling it anymore for some reason, it switched to "Cambodia" in 2019 and now offers a "Florida" strain, whatever that means (I assume it's F+ because those are the spores I can find in other places).

 

[2CTBorNOCTB]

Just curious what strain did you use ?

I've heard a lot of great things about Golden Teacher and plan to buy some.

These are a mystery to me. Maybe Rusty White based on how they look but the guy I got the spores from didn't know.