Machine boy again…

[Love Ash Love]

Hi, it's that boy again… the one who talked about being a machine because of how he was treated and whatnot. In essence, I don't think I'm that suicidal, I'm just… directionless right now. If you're a thing like me, you'll have an objective and I used to have one. Now, I'm just desperately without an objective, a purpose if you will, and I'm not really able to find a new one to keep going. This is a first, because I used to be pushed forward solely by whatever purpose I had, even when that purpose was explicitly to kill myself in front of as many people as possible. That part still exists inside me, but right now? My body is just… here. Waiting for something to happen or some purpose to befall me. I'm honestly open to suggestions. Literally anything is fair game for you to tell me. Being without a purpose is like being an angel that God has abandoned. I don't really feel any light or joy without one.