Venting Lying professionals

[timetodie24]

It's a joke that professionals and others think they can 'help'. I pity anyone who doesn't see that I'm an error and a virus as I fooled them all. No point lying to themselves, they must know that my survival will cause further destruction. The glitch has to be fixed. 1000s of people could die. This could change the world so I have to save the world. Idk why no one can see that. But I won't listen as we know the truth. They'll all see it once my ctb resets the system.

 

[timetodie24]

Another very bad thing has already happened to someone I care about today because of me. It's consequence of me going to appt. yesterday and sharing too much again. And it'll become much worse if I don't start obeying again. Need to discharge myself from services and re- negotiate a sooner date to exit the system and fix this. I'm such a fucking selfish heartless pathetic idiot .

 

[timetodie24]

Past caring if my method is 'selfish' as the trauma messing up the whole world an 10s of 1000s dying is much worse than bit of trauma from a suicide

 

[Forever Sleep]

No point lying to themselves, they must know that my survival will cause further destruction. The glitch has to be fixed. 1000s of people could die. This could change the world so I have to save the world. Idk why no one can see that.

I suspect it's because there is nothing solid (for them) that proves this. It's not to say one person couldn't deeply affect 1000's of lives in a terrible way but- they'd likely have to be someone with a lot of power and with genocidal ideas- like Hitler. A lot of people simply don't believe in Jinxes- or rather- not to this extent. That you being alive is causing all this mayhem.

I don't know what they're diagnosing but a phrase like: 'I have to save the world' if I'm honest- suggests 'delusions of grandeaur.' How could any one person save the world- unless there is a God and, they're it? Did no one suffer before you were born? Will no one suffer after you die? Why would the meer presence of a particular individual cause others to suffer?

Of course, I could be wrong. You could be some kind of chosen one. I doubt anyone on this forum would blame you for what they're going through though. I feel so bad for you though. These thoughts must be terrible to bear.

I'm also sorry that I'm questioning you. I know it must be frustrating that people don't believe you but it's a bit like faith I suppose- you're asking people to believe in something only you are witnessing. And naturally- people don't want you to hurt yourself over something they doubt is true.

 

[timetodie24]

I suspect it's because there is nothing solid (for them) that proves this. It's not to say one person couldn't deeply affect 1000's of lives in a terrible way but- they'd likely have to be someone with a lot of power and with genocidal ideas- like Hitler. A lot of people simply don't believe in Jinxes- or rather- not to this extent. That you being alive is causing all this mayhem.

I don't know what they're diagnosing but a phrase like: 'I have to save the world' if I'm honest- suggests 'delusions of grandeaur.' How could any one person save the world- unless there is a God and, they're it? Did no one suffer before you were born? Will no one suffer after you die? Why would the meer presence of a particular individual cause others to suffer?

Of course, I could be wrong. You could be some kind of chosen one. I doubt anyone on this forum would blame you for what they're going through though. I feel so bad for you though. These thoughts must be terrible to bear.

I'm also sorry that I'm questioning you. I know it must be frustrating that people don't believe you but it's a bit like faith I suppose- you're asking people to believe in something only you are witnessing. And naturally- people don't want you to hurt yourself over something they doubt is true.

I get that it sounds unbelievable . I'm not saying i'm a god or anything. I don't have those powers but there's this system that governs the world that has that kind of power. it has the power for good and evil. I'm one very tiny glitch in the system but one glitch can have a domino effect leading to many more . Like a computer virus. So eventually it could collapse the whole system threatening so many lives . People won't believe me because they don't want to believe the world is controlled like that, that we have no power or they want to believe in some benevolent god instead.

 

[escape_from_hell]

If nature does one dirty selfishness or not doesn't mean a lot, because the suicidal person was so mercilessly rendered by existence that they are often alienated from all others. Two wrongs don't make a right but each entity has been tasked with minimizing the extreme agony under which they are placed and others end up collateral damage, which nature loves because nature loves to harm.

Like a psychology experiment where someone is being shocked to hell over and over and can push a button that kills an innocent princess puppy child but frees them from further shock.

I too need to die. Just my being or not isn't that important. However it will automatically improve all aspects of existence because less shit is just a less shitty world.

 

[Trav1989]

It's a joke that professionals and others think they can 'help'. I pity anyone who doesn't see that I'm an error and a virus as I fooled them all. No point lying to themselves, they must know that my survival will cause further destruction. The glitch has to be fixed. 1000s of people could die. This could change the world so I have to save the world. Idk why no one can see that. But I won't listen as we know the truth. They'll all see it once my ctb resets the system.

Best to not overshare because you'll likely end up in a mental hospital and then you'll be in the system and it will just get more and more difficult for you. My ex-wife and many others did this and are now massively in debt and are pretty much under surveillance with regular check in's and visits and depending on where you live your community may or may not get involved.

I know my ex-wife tried to purchase cough syrup once and was refused service because the lady at the cash register had talked to her therapist but I live in a small town.

Eventually the system will drag you down to the point that even if you don't desire to CTB you'll wish you could but that will be nearly impossible as you'll lack the money or freedom to do anything.

Then your stuck working at a job all day being another cog in the machine with knowing to show for it or if it's even worse you go to even more extreme means to pay off the debt that will tear down your mental state even further and erode your self-worth.

I know this sounds extreme but it really isn't, once you open the can of worms it's very hard to get it closed again and everyone will become aware of your situation. Again, I live in a smaller town so everybody knows one-another's business.

 

[timetodie24]

Best to not overshare because you'll likely end up in a mental hospital and then you'll be in the system and it will just get more and more difficult for you. My ex-wife and many others did this and are now massively in debt and are pretty much under surveillance with regular check in's and visits and depending on where you live your community may or may not get involved.

I know my ex-wife tried to purchase cough syrup once and was refused service because the lady at the cash register had talked to her therapist but I live in a small town.

Eventually the system will drag you down to the point that even if you don't desire to CTB you'll wish you could but that will be nearly impossible as you'll lack the money or freedom to do anything.

Then your stuck working at a job all day being another cog in the machine with knowing to show for it or if it's even worse you go to even more extreme means to pay off the debt that will tear down your mental state even further and erode your self-worth.

I know this sounds extreme but it really isn't, once you open the can of worms it's very hard to get it closed again and everyone will become aware of your situation. Again, I live in a smaller town so everybody knows one-another's business.

It's fine I already told professionals about the mind control , that i'd been told how to ctb and that i'd be given a date otherwise lots of people will die. I just haven't told them the date and 'promised' i'll ring the crisis team if i'm planning to do it or feel unsafe. And they're happy for me stay in community so it's fine.
It's hard to be sectioned (committed) where I live . In the past when I was unsure about ctb, i told professionals I had the means, plan and timeframe. They sent me some youtube videos on mindfulness and said see you next week. I did do it before next appt., ended up in hospital resus and I was allowed home from general hospital without going to psych ward.
I have been sectioned once though and i'll make sure to avoid it ever again. It hasn't led to surveillance or checks in after.
I'm back under a different service by choice (as i need help protecting others) atm but last year services happily discharged me when i refused therapy and told them I wanted to die not get better.
The mental health services haven't ruined my life. I don't live in a small town so people only know what I tell them. I'm not working because i cant cope with it due to how i'm feeling.
It's been really hard to get MH support in first place and services are desperate to discharge people so nothing is going to be forced. Crisis services here and known for putting the phone down on suicidal people, saying things like 'you have capacity to end your life so nothing we can do' . One even instructed someone how to OD better.
I'm so sorry for your experiences. It's horrible that you and others have been punished for being unwell, made out like a criminal, it's awful
But i've ruined my own life already and I plan to end it so i'm really not concerned about jobs or money.

 

[escape_from_hell]

Best to not overshare because you'll likely end up in a mental hospital and then you'll be in the system and it will just get more and more difficult for you. My ex-wife and many others did this and are now massively in debt and are pretty much under surveillance with regular check in's and visits and depending on where you live your community may or may not get involved.

I know my ex-wife tried to purchase cough syrup once and was refused service because the lady at the cash register had talked to her therapist but I live in a small town.

Eventually the system will drag you down to the point that even if you don't desire to CTB you'll wish you could but that will be nearly impossible as you'll lack the money or freedom to do anything.

Then your stuck working at a job all day being another cog in the machine with knowing to show for it or if it's even worse you go to even more extreme means to pay off the debt that will tear down your mental state even further and erode your self-worth.

I know this sounds extreme but it really isn't, once you open the can of worms it's very hard to get it closed again and everyone will become aware of your situation. Again, I live in a smaller town so everybody knows one-another's business.

Damn this is sad to hear. It's true everyone has to bottle everything up or risk being turned into a literal torture toy for the mental health scam. Saying you are so beaten down by life is like confessing to the hyenas that you cannot fend them off any longer.

There is a movie called 'Unsane" that touches on this evil practice in the United States that is shockingly accurate but the movie is not well known.

 

[Trav1989]

Damn this is sad to hear. It's true everyone has to bottle everything up or risk being turned into a literal torture toy for the mental health scam. Saying you are so beaten down by life is like confessing to the hyenas that you cannot fend them off any longer.

There is a movie called 'Unsane" that touches on this evil practice in the United States that is shockingly accurate but the movie is not well known.

I've never heard of the movie admittedly but yeah, it's extremely easy to have all your basic human rights stripped away here. And if you don't have insurance you are in for a ride and once you reach the destination you won't like the result. As in the case with my ex-wife she felt suicidal so she was hospitalized for months, got out to thousands of dollars in debt, saw the bill and mentioned too much of her depression again and was committed yet again and once out she started to sell herself for money, felt guilty so told me, we got a divorce. Now she is into the drug/prostitution lifestyle to pay off debts while accumulating more debt due to the cost of drugs just because she felt suicidal at one point and even though she is in that life now she still loves me but we know it will never work so she is taking the long route and I'm taking the shorter route to the same destination at this point.

If her friends convinced her to talk to me instead of a professional things would have ended up differently but she didn't want to put the burden on me. Now both of us are taking the fall just because too much was said to the wrong people. Now I'm on this site and awaiting my ticket out but thankfully my train won't take nearly as long, sounds selfish to say that but it is what it is. I can't risk telling her because she tends to take others down with her even if she doesn't intend to because she is overly honest with medical professionals.

Funny how I was honest with her our entire marriage but once it ended I chose to omit the most important decision I'll ever make.

All I can hope to do is prevent others from going through the same ordeal, I have unrelated legal issues as well though so that makes it easier to make my decision to CTB.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I get that it sounds unbelievable . I'm not saying i'm a god or anything. I don't have those powers but there's this system that governs the world that has that kind of power. it has the power for good and evil. I'm one very tiny glitch in the system but one glitch can have a domino effect leading to many more . Like a computer virus. So eventually it could collapse the whole system threatening so many lives . People won't believe me because they don't want to believe the world is controlled like that, that we have no power or they want to believe in some benevolent god instead.

How did you find out about this system? Have you known about it since you were young? Tell me to mind my own business if I'm being too nosey.

I don't know what to believe if I'm honest. I don't feel like there's very strong proof for any theory.

I can understand how personal experience feels the most real though.

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

It's fine I already told professionals about the mind control , that i'd been told how to ctb and that i'd be given a date otherwise lots of people will die. I just haven't told them the date and 'promised' i'll ring the crisis team if i'm planning to do it or feel unsafe. And they're happy for me stay in community so it's fine.
It's hard to be sectioned (committed) where I live . In the past when I was unsure about ctb, i told professionals I had the means, plan and timeframe. They sent me some youtube videos on mindfulness and said see you next week. I did do it before next appt., ended up in hospital resus and I was allowed home from general hospital without going to psych ward.
I have been sectioned once though and i'll make sure to avoid it ever again. It hasn't led to surveillance or checks in after.
I'm back under a different service by choice (as i need help protecting others) atm but last year services happily discharged me when i refused therapy and told them I wanted to die not get better.
The mental health services haven't ruined my life. I don't live in a small town so people only know what I tell them. I'm not working because i cant cope with it due to how i'm feeling.
It's been really hard to get MH support in first place and services are desperate to discharge people so nothing is going to be forced. Crisis services here and known for putting the phone down on suicidal people, saying things like 'you have capacity to end your life so nothing we can do' . One even instructed someone how to OD better.
I'm so sorry for your experiences. It's horrible that you and others have been punished for being unwell, made out like a criminal, it's awful
But i've ruined my own life already and I plan to end it so i'm really not concerned about jobs or money.

That's exactly how they treat me and what they tell me. There's no such thing as help from MHS.

 

[timetodie24]

How did you find out about this system? Have you known about it since you were young? Tell me to mind my own business if I'm being too nosey.

I don't know what to believe if I'm honest. I don't feel like there's very strong proof for any theory.

I can understand how personal experience feels the most real though.

I don't mind genuine questions. I only found out about it in January. I'd been getting thoughts that weren't my own and it communicated with me about how things worked. First just through messages in my thoughts then voices too.

That's exactly how they treat me and what they tell me. There's no such thing as help from MHS.

I'm so sorry . It's heartbreaking how many are failed. I understand when people don't want help and make their choice. But so many people beg for help and are neglected or abused by 'professionals' . The awareness days , like suicide awareness yesterday, piss me off so much. When it's all like 'reach out.. help is out there.. you're not alone… etc.' it's so detached from the reality of services

 

[timetodie24]

Noticed an object suddenly change in the house. It's same item but looks different in a way that couldn't be adapted. So it's been switched out to mess with me. Likely my parents , they're acting strange. I keep sleeping too much when I'm meant to stay awake so that they can't mess with me. Got some irritation on my hand so think it's where they put more implants in. And blood on my bedsheet that I assumed was from sh but there was no blood through the dressing or on my pjs . So it must be from them implanting things. I want to run away. I can't trust the mh team either so no use telling them.

 

[timetodie24]

Not real. Not here. Not a human. Need to exit

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

You're here, you're real. That's how we're talking Sorry you feel so out of it!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't mind genuine questions. I only found out about it in January. I'd been getting thoughts that weren't my own and it communicated with me about how things worked. First just through messages in my thoughts then voices too.

I'm so sorry . It's heartbreaking how many are failed. I understand when people don't want help and make their choice. But so many people beg for help and are neglected or abused by 'professionals' . The awareness days , like suicide awareness yesterday, piss me off so much. When it's all like 'reach out.. help is out there.. you're not alone… etc.' it's so detached from the reality of services

I don't mean to be unkind but- how can you be sure that this is a superior entity communicating with you and not some form of psychosis? I'm not very knowledgable but a lot of what you describe seems to fit symptoms of things like schizophrenia. Presumably, if you have tried to use MH services, this must have occurred to you as a possibility too? What do they say may I ask?

 

[timetodie24]

I don't mean to be unkind but- how can you be sure that this is a superior entity communicating with you and not some form of psychosis? I'm not very knowledgable but a lot of what you describe seems to fit symptoms of things like schizophrenia. Presumably, if you have tried to use MH services, this must have occurred to you as a possibility too? What do they say may I ask?

Because lots of evidence stacks up to prove to me it's real.

Yes it occurred as possibility but more and more evidence against it.
Services opinion has been mixed. Some professionals suggested it was maybe OCD or just intrusive thoughts but not been properly assessed for ocd. A primary care mental health nurse suggested it sounded like psychosis and referred me to early intervention in psychosis team. EIP assessed me and said definitely not psychosis, they felt it was just emotional regulation issues. Referred back to primary care who took 2 months of chasing to get another appt. When i did different primary care nurse felt i needed to be reassessed by EIP . Had the new initial assessment 2 weeks ago, they didn't make diagnosis but agreed to take me on this time. So seeing them weekly now but still in assessment and formulation stage so they havent recommended if/what treatment or diagnosed. They said not to get caught up on the name of the service, that they just want to help with my distress. Which is confusing tbh.
But I'm hoping and guessing they'll rule out psychosis after full assessment.

I'm continuing to go to the appointments and engaging the best I can, answering their questions as I wan't to make sure i did everything I can to protect others before i go.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Because lots of evidence stacks up to prove to me it's real.

Yes it occurred as possibility but more and more evidence against it.
Services opinion has been mixed. Some professionals suggested it was maybe OCD or just intrusive thoughts but not been properly assessed for ocd. A primary care mental health nurse suggested it sounded like psychosis and referred me to early intervention in psychosis team. EIP assessed me and said definitely not psychosis, they felt it was just emotional regulation issues. Referred back to primary care who took 2 months of chasing to get another appt. When i did different primary care nurse felt i needed to be reassessed by EIP . Had the new initial assessment 2 weeks ago, they didn't make diagnosis but agreed to take me on this time. So seeing them weekly now but still in assessment and formulation stage so they havent recommended if/what treatment or diagnosed. They said not to get caught up on the name of the service, that they just want to help with my distress. Which is confusing tbh.
But I'm hoping and guessing they'll rule out psychosis after full assessment.

I'm continuing to go to the appointments and engaging the best I can, answering their questions as I wan't to make sure i did everything I can to protect others before i go.

I think you're being incredibly responsible considering what you are going through.

May I ask- just how honest are you daring to be with them? I can understand you not wanting to dwell on your intention to suicide but, have you shared with them your concerns about having implants and the ways in which you feel you need to act in order to save the world? Have you mentioned that your instructions sometimes involve the possibility/ probability of hurting others? If I'm honest, I don't understand why they're not more distressed about stuff like that. I think you're doing the most responsible thing you can by getting their advice though.

Maybe it is better not to get so hung up on a specific diagnosis. Mental health diagnosis seems particularly woolly to me anyway. Maybe it is best if they do just focus on getting you to feel less distressed.

I imagine it's especially hard for you to trust them though or, anyone for that matter. I'm trying to imagine how I'd react if I felt like I was being given very clear messages on things. It must be confusing and terrifying I imagine.

 

[timetodie24]

I think you're being incredibly responsible considering what you are going through.

May I ask- just how honest are you daring to be with them? I can understand you not wanting to dwell on your intention to suicide but, have you shared with them your concerns about having implants and the ways in which you feel you need to act in order to save the world? Have you mentioned that your instructions sometimes involve the possibility/ probability of hurting others? If I'm honest, I don't understand why they're not more distressed about stuff like that. I think you're doing the most responsible thing you can by getting their advice though.

Maybe it is better not to get so hung up on a specific diagnosis. Mental health diagnosis seems particularly woolly to me anyway. Maybe it is best if they do just focus on getting you to feel less distressed.

I imagine it's especially hard for you to trust them though or, anyone for that matter. I'm trying to imagine how I'd react if I felt like I was being given very clear messages on things. It must be confusing and terrifying I imagine.

Thank you so much for your kindness and trying to understand . Yes i'm quite paranoid with everything going on and worry a lot about consequences of trusting professionals with stuff. They have been very understanding so far though - they've emphasised that know it is terrifying for me to share things because of those in control .They also said they want to help me protect others so have been the first to believe me people are in danger. They've been surprisingly very gentle and reassuring.

I've been very honest about most stuff including details not shared here. They do know about the implants, surveillance, thoughts, voices, that i need to save many people etc. I have told them that i've had instructions to ctb on highway and about waiting for instructions on date. I even told them that i'd negotiated a date to do it but that not 100% sure it will be it (which is true) and that i forgot the date (untrue but they didn't buy it ). They were concerned and said they'll check in about this each appt. But they're somewhat reassured that i have no definite plan to do it that i agreed i'd call crisis team if i feel unsafe. They did say if they feel i'm unsafe (e.g i share a date that is imminent or definite plan) then they would have to refer me to crisis team.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Thank you so much for your kindness and trying to understand . Yes i'm quite paranoid with everything going on and worry a lot about consequences of trusting professionals with stuff. They have been very understanding so far though - they've emphasised that know it is terrifying for me to share things because of those in control .They also said they want to help me protect others so have been the first to believe me people are in danger. They've been surprisingly very gentle and reassuring.

I've been very honest about most stuff including details not shared here. They do know about the implants, surveillance, thoughts, voices, that i need to save many people etc. I have told them that i've had instructions to ctb on highway and about waiting for instructions on date. I even told them that i'd negotiated a date to do it but that not 100% sure it will be it (which is true) and that i forgot the date (untrue but they didn't buy it ). They were concerned and said they'll check in about this each appt. But they're somewhat reassured that i have no definite plan to do it that i agreed i'd call crisis team if i feel unsafe. They did say if they feel i'm unsafe (e.g i share a date that is imminent or definite plan) then they would have to refer me to crisis team.

I'm glad that they have been understanding and kind and also honest about their responsibilities. I hope they continue to support you.

 

[alltoomuch2]

Best to not overshare because you'll likely end up in a mental hospital and then you'll be in the system and it will just get more and more difficult for you. My ex-wife and many others did this and are now massively in debt and are pretty much under surveillance with regular check in's and visits and depending on where you live your community may or may not get involved.

I know my ex-wife tried to purchase cough syrup once and was refused service because the lady at the cash register had talked to her therapist but I live in a small town.

Eventually the system will drag you down to the point that even if you don't desire to CTB you'll wish you could but that will be nearly impossible as you'll lack the money or freedom to do anything.

Then your stuck working at a job all day being another cog in the machine with knowing to show for it or if it's even worse you go to even more extreme means to pay off the debt that will tear down your mental state even further and erode your self-worth.

I know this sounds extreme but it really isn't, once you open the can of worms it's very hard to get it closed again and everyone will become aware of your situation. Again, I live in a smaller town so everybody knows one-another's business.

Ttd24 is in the UK so the mental health teams and hospitalisation is free. Quit your doom mongering. It's a good thing they're getting help from the EIP. And it took them a lot of time and strength to get that help

It's fine I already told professionals about the mind control , that i'd been told how to ctb and that i'd be given a date otherwise lots of people will die. I just haven't told them the date and 'promised' i'll ring the crisis team if i'm planning to do it or feel unsafe. And they're happy for me stay in community so it's fine.
It's hard to be sectioned (committed) where I live . In the past when I was unsure about ctb, i told professionals I had the means, plan and timeframe. They sent me some youtube videos on mindfulness and said see you next week. I did do it before next appt., ended up in hospital resus and I was allowed home from general hospital without going to psych ward.
I have been sectioned once though and i'll make sure to avoid it ever again. It hasn't led to surveillance or checks in after.
I'm back under a different service by choice (as i need help protecting others) atm but last year services happily discharged me when i refused therapy and told them I wanted to die not get better.
The mental health services haven't ruined my life. I don't live in a small town so people only know what I tell them. I'm not working because i cant cope with it due to how i'm feeling.
It's been really hard to get MH support in first place and services are desperate to discharge people so nothing is going to be forced. Crisis services here and known for putting the phone down on suicidal people, saying things like 'you have capacity to end your life so nothing we can do' . One even instructed someone how to OD better.
I'm so sorry for your experiences. It's horrible that you and others have been punished for being unwell, made out like a criminal, it's awful
But i've ruined my own life already and I plan to end it so i'm really not concerned about jobs or money.

Well said (apart from the last paragraph). I'm still here and still ok. Yesterday I had the best day I've had for a very long time. Keep working with the team. I'm so proud of you.

I've never heard of the movie admittedly but yeah, it's extremely easy to have all your basic human rights stripped away here. And if you don't have insurance you are in for a ride and once you reach the destination you won't like the result. As in the case with my ex-wife she felt suicidal so she was hospitalized for months, got out to thousands of dollars in debt, saw the bill and mentioned too much of her depression again and was committed yet again and once out she started to sell herself for money, felt guilty so told me, we got a divorce. Now she is into the drug/prostitution lifestyle to pay off debts while accumulating more debt due to the cost of drugs just because she felt suicidal at one point and even though she is in that life now she still loves me but we know it will never work so she is taking the long route and I'm taking the shorter route to the same destination at this point.

If her friends convinced her to talk to me instead of a professional things would have ended up differently but she didn't want to put the burden on me. Now both of us are taking the fall just because too much was said to the wrong people. Now I'm on this site and awaiting my ticket out but thankfully my train won't take nearly as long, sounds selfish to say that but it is what it is. I can't risk telling her because she tends to take others down with her even if she doesn't intend to because she is overly honest with medical professionals.

Funny how I was honest with her our entire marriage but once it ended I chose to omit the most important decision I'll ever make.

All I can hope to do is prevent others from going through the same ordeal, I have unrelated legal issues as well though so that makes it easier to make my decision to CTB.

I'm sorry about what happened to you, but the UK is completely different and the OP got into this situation because they were refused help from professionals originally. Stop trying to make light of and torpedo the efforts they've made and the strength they've needed to finally get appropriate help right now. This community can be so supportive in the main, and most people on here respect others who are trying to get well. But posts like yours make me question whether I want to be on SaSu any more when you're actively trying to sabotage the op.

 

[brokeandbroken]

It's a joke that professionals and others think they can 'help'. I pity anyone who doesn't see that I'm an error and a virus as I fooled them all. No point lying to themselves, they must know that my survival will cause further destruction. The glitch has to be fixed. 1000s of people could die. This could change the world so I have to save the world. Idk why no one can see that. But I won't listen as we know the truth. They'll all see it once my ctb resets the system.

Hold up you found professionals who tried to help? Fascinating how they only tried to help the person threatening further destruction. Maybe they are worse then we thought.

 

[timetodie24]

Well said (apart from the last paragraph). I'm still here and still ok. Yesterday I had the best day I've had for a very long time. Keep working with the team. I'm so proud of you.

thank you so much I'm glad you had a better day yesterday and I hope today is the same or at least ok if not

I don't mind others sharing their experiences, i know lots here have been harmed by MH services and ive had some bad experiences too. But yeah not great to try to talk people out of getting help if they want it.

Hold up you found professionals who tried to help? Fascinating how they only tried to help the person threatening further destruction. Maybe they are worse then we thought.

Yes I know i'm lucky, Trust me. It wasn't easy to get the support and took a lot of back and forth and pushing services. I've been in and out services for years so i've had my share of useless professionals too. I've only had 2 appointments with them so idk if they can help yet or if trust them.
I'm not 'threatening further destruction', I'm trying to prevent it . I'm well aware i'm an evil person and I don't deserve help but i'm getting the help so i can save as many as possible of those in danger because of me. It's not about me, it's for others.

 

[brokeandbroken]

thank you so much I'm glad you had a better day yesterday and I hope today is the same or at least ok if not

I don't mind others sharing their experiences, i know lots here have been harmed by MH services and ive had some bad experiences too. But yeah not great to try to talk people out of getting help if they want it.

Yes I know i'm lucky, Trust me. It wasn't easy to get the support and took a lot of back and forth and pushing services. I've been in and out services for years so i've had my share of useless professionals too. I've only had 2 appointments with them so idk if they can help yet or if trust them.
I'm not 'threatening further destruction', I'm trying to prevent it . I'm well aware i'm an evil person and I don't deserve help but i'm getting the help so i can save as many as possible of those in danger because of me. It's not about me, it's for others.

What destruction? Because they know you? That's illogical. There's worse things then being hated. It's ambivalence. It's when people literally don't care. It's when your image and your entire being doesn't conjure up feelings of hatred or love. It's when it conjures up nothing. Literal nothing.

When prisoners are born in concentration camps in North Korea. They aren't told KJUs name. They are suffering their entire miserable lives at the whims of an obese man while they starve. They won't ever know what he looks like or his name. Now minimize that on your personal level. What destruction? Hatred, love? What is it? Guns bombs? What is it?

To me it sounds like you are threatening things against others. That's a dangerous line to cross.

I haven't been harmed by MH services. I just haven't been helped by it either. Despite many attempts.

Honestly I'm disappointed. Why is it when their lives are suddenly on the line they suddenly spring into action and care. I had convinced myself they just were incapable of helping people. I guess the only to get them to care is to make it about them. On second thought that sounds about right for the nurses/doctors I've met. Nevermind.

 

[timetodie24]

What destruction? Because they know you? That's illogical. There's worse things then being hated. It's ambivalence. It's when people literally don't care. It's when your image and your entire being doesn't conjure up feelings of hatred or love. It's when it conjures up nothing. Literal nothing.

When prisoners are born in concentration camps in North Korea. They aren't told KJUs name. They are suffering their entire miserable lives at the whims of an obese man while they starve. They won't ever know what he looks like or his name. Now minimize that on your personal level. What destruction? Hatred, love? What is it? Guns bombs? What is it?

To me it sounds like you are threatening things against others. That's a dangerous line to cross.

I haven't been harmed by MH services. I just haven't been helped by it either. Despite many attempts.

Honestly I'm disappointed. Why is it when their lives are suddenly on the line they suddenly spring into action and care. I had convinced myself they just were incapable of helping people. I guess the only to get them to care is to make it about them. On second thought that sounds about right for the nurses/doctors I've met. Nevermind.

Ime of uk mental health services yes they only care when the patient or others lives are at risk. However, even then, not always. There was recently some cases in the news where people were clearly a violent risk to others and mh services did nothing and sadly people were killed. So it's not always the case. But yeah if you're 'low risk' it's harder to get help too.

It's too long to explain fully here but i have in many posts. There's a system in control of the world, for good and evil. I'm a glitch in that system which leads to more errors. So the system has took control of my mind. People die in my place if i don't. 1 error leads to another so more and more lives are on the line. It's the system in control that will harm people, not me, but it will be my fault if I don't die. I've never threatened anyone, it's those in control not me. Yes i've had voices and thoughts telling me to hurt others but i've never ever acted on those and i'm getting help to make sure i don't. Like I said, this isnt about me, it isn't about what people think of me. It is simply that i lived past my death date which made the system malfunction and it'll break, killing many if i don't fix the error (the system can make people ill or injured, so it will do it not me, i'm not going to harm anyone)

I'm sorry you haven't been helped by services. I generally havent found them helpful either. But amongst the bad ones i have found a few over the years who seem to genuinely care. The current ones seem to be trying but only time will tell. Idk why you're angry at me for that though.

 

[Reflection]

Professionals are a joke, all they care about is making money and getting you back into the cog. I'm sure some of them genuinely try to help, but even then you can't save anyone, and as time goes on you become desensitized and stop really giving a fuck. Allegedly one of the best therapists in my country was basically lowkey bragging to one of her patients that she made a fortune out of broken people.... so yeah.

It's possible that therapy can help some people, I cannot really verify that myself though, but I do think that it's mostly a meme.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Ime of uk mental health services yes they only care when the patient or others lives are at risk. However, even then, not always. There was recently some cases in the news where people were clearly a violent risk to others and mh services did nothing and sadly people were killed. So it's not always the case. But yeah if you're 'low risk' it's harder to get help too.

It's too long to explain fully here but i have in many posts. There's a system in control of the world, for good and evil. I'm a glitch in that system which leads to more errors. So the system has took control of my mind. People die in my place if i don't. 1 error leads to another so more and more lives are on the line. It's the system in control that will harm people, not me, but it will be my fault if I don't die. I've never threatened anyone, it's those in control not me. Yes i've had voices and thoughts telling me to hurt others but i've never ever acted on those and i'm getting help to make sure i don't. Like I said, this isnt about me, it isn't about what people think of me. It is simply that i lived past my death date which made the system malfunction and it'll break, killing many if i don't fix the error (the system can make people ill or injured, so it will do it not me, i'm not going to harm anyone)

I'm sorry you haven't been helped by services. I generally havent found them helpful either. But amongst the bad ones i have found a few over the years who seem to genuinely care. The current ones seem to be trying but only time will tell. Idk why you're angry at me for that though.

I'm not angry with you.

Professionals are a joke, all they care about is making money and getting you back into the cog. I'm sure some of them genuinely try to help, but even then you can't save anyone, and as time goes on you become desensitized and stop really giving a fuck. Allegedly one of the best therapists in my country was basically lowkey bragging to one of her patients that she made a fortune out of broken people.... so yeah.

It's possible that therapy can help some people, I cannot really verify that myself though, but I do think that it's mostly a meme.

Therapy exists because people outsourced the hard parts of the relationship they have with others to someone they've never met who will never care about them. Literally they just care about the money. People don't want to be vulnerable so they pay someone so they don't have to. Like ive said before and I'll say it again somewhat sarcastically and without any personal experience. Hire a prostitute they'll likely be more discreet and you'll have a better chance of leaving with a happy ending. Or better yet find friends that actually give a shit. But that's going extinct.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

How are you doing today @timetodie24 ?

 

[timetodie24]

How are you doing today @timetodie24 ?

I'm not too bad, thanks for asking. How are you ?

Did not mean for this to turn into a therapist/mh professional hating thread but oh well …