Venting lying on bed with my flashbacks, regrets and confusions

[nopointofliving]

I wish if there was a quick fix to this ...
I wish I could plan my death properly...
I wish I could execute my death plan precisely...
I wish I never met that guy...
I wish I never loved him...
I wish I had a job in my early twenties..
I wish I was stupid...
I wish I was a blind religious follower...
I wish religion could fool me...
I wish I didn't have all those antisocial thoughts...
I wish I was normal ...
I wish I was the norm
I wish I died earlier...

I lost hope....I lost my purpose... just surviving the moment .. I don't like this.. I need an exist door. I need to escape this... I don't want to stay here...

 

[WornOutLife]

Stay strong, my friend!
I couldn't get enough sleep last night because of those goddamn flashbacks too! They love keeping my brain awake and giving me no peace lol.

Hugs and hope you can feel better soon!

Matt

 

[nopointofliving]

Stay strong, my friend!
I couldn't get enough sleep last night because of those goddamn flashbacks too! They love keeping my brain awake and giving me no peace lol.

Hugs and hope you can feel better soon!

Matt

Thank you Matt,

much love to you <3

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

I want nearly all those wishes too…. Tell me about the flashbacks… it's been YEARS, and I am still haunted by memories of f*ck ups, having a nice day let's think of something that happened 4 years ago that will ruin your day.. thanks.

 

[nopointofliving]

I want nearly all those wishes too…. Tell me about the flashbacks… it's been YEARS, and I am still haunted by memories of f*ck ups, having a nice day let's think of something that happened 4 years ago that will ruin your day.. thanks.

Aww my sister, I feel your pain. everything I see triggers a past memory. It's hard.
Sending much love and hugs to you

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Aww my sister, I feel your pain. everything I see triggers a past memory. It's hard.
Sending much love and hugs to you

I wish I could start again in another country, new people nothing to trigger bad memories, past behaviour irrelevant. Oh well it's not to be.

 

[filtfarfar]

I want nearly all those wishes too…. Tell me about the flashbacks… it's been YEARS, and I am still haunted by memories of f*ck ups, having a nice day let's think of something that happened 4 years ago that will ruin your day.. thanks.

Yep, I suffer from PTSD. Flashbacks from 10 years ago haunt me on a daily basis. My own mind tortures me and destroys every single day. It gives me no rest.

 

[Suicide_1992]

Yep, I suffer from PTSD. Flashbacks from 10 years ago haunt me on a daily basis. My own mind tortures me and destroys every single day. It gives me no rest.

That's how I feel as well, ive recently come to reality that all this shit wasn't a life.

My Voice Steve used to bully me all the time and did for over 13 years, he completely destroyed me and how I thought, he always reminded me of my past and how like him I couldn't get away from it.

I destroyed Steve in January with help from my main abuser (My Mum)

He knew my parents more than I did, How they would act and what would happen he was usually right.

 

[Bergamot]

I wish I never met that girl...
I wish I never fall in love with her...
I wish she return to love me again
I wish dont ctb without fix our problems
I wish not have traumas...
I wish return normal and happy like before my trauma

 

[Journeytoletgo]

1. I wish I stayed a virgin until the right guy
2. I wish I didn't have acne damaged skin
3. I wish I never met that guy from years ago
4. I wish I started dance as a kid
5. I wish I was a blind religious follower as well but then when I turned 24 I became atheist/nihilistic

6. I wish I didn't live in isolation for so long
7. I wish I was pretty

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, our own thoughts can torture us and there can be no escape as we are cursed with being unable to forget anything. I know what that is like. I just want complete non existence as I do not want to experience anything ever again.

 

[Mr2005]

Pretty much all I do. I can't handle anything happening in the moment when the screaming in my heads so load

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

My problem is with the future, but the past can jump in there and sting from time to time as well. I think the past is easier to get over since you don't have to be a hard determinist to realize that it can't be changed (unlike the future, which also can't be changed but very few people agree with this).