PlutonianRooster
Member
- Dec 16, 2024
- 21
I wanted to live. I was depressed and passively suicidal, and cursed with permanent problems, but I wanted to come out of it alive more than anything - until the few people 'close' to me failed me when I needed them the most. (I don't want to get into my issues, but there was a time-sensitive element to them.)
Now, the urge to die is all-consuming. It's all I can think about while awake. It's my only shelter from the pain.
Every day, I want to grab them by their shoulders and scream at them for just watching me get worse. I want to scream at them until their willful ignorance crumbles and they regret every empty promise.
I could have been helped. I crushed my dignity to beg for support. All for nothing.
How can people who claim to 'love' you do this? How can the people I love and lived for do this?
(The reality isn't that black-and-white, but I'm sick of making excuses for other people's perspectives while they step on mine. I need to get shit off my chest before I spontaneously combust.)
Now, the urge to die is all-consuming. It's all I can think about while awake. It's my only shelter from the pain.
Every day, I want to grab them by their shoulders and scream at them for just watching me get worse. I want to scream at them until their willful ignorance crumbles and they regret every empty promise.
I could have been helped. I crushed my dignity to beg for support. All for nothing.
How can people who claim to 'love' you do this? How can the people I love and lived for do this?
(The reality isn't that black-and-white, but I'm sick of making excuses for other people's perspectives while they step on mine. I need to get shit off my chest before I spontaneously combust.)
