Venting Lost my will to ctb, but still don't want to live

[DyingToDie123]

I don't understand what happened. I prepared everything and tried and aborted a few times a week or two ago and told myself I would actually do it after I got back from my Thanksgiving trip and now I'm just... unable to do it. I still don't want to do life, I've given up on my work and everything else in my life in anticipation that I won't have to deal with any of it soon. But I'm too afraid to go through with ctb, but I'm also afraid I'm not gonna actually do it and that I've just self-sabotaged my life. I feel so stuck.

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

Oh my gosh.... Do you think thats good or bad?
Couldn't that just mean that you want to try other things in your realm before you ctb?
Dunno

 

[Aim]

your worth it dear! So happy for you!

 

[tidal1]

I don't understand what happened. I prepared everything and tried and aborted a few times a week or two ago and told myself I would actually do it after I got back from my Thanksgiving trip and now I'm just... unable to do it. I still don't want to do life, I've given up on my work and everything else in my life in anticipation that I won't have to deal with any of it soon. But I'm too afraid to go through with ctb, but I'm also afraid I'm not gonna actually do it and that I've just self-sabotaged my life. I feel so stuck.

It sounds like you need a break and need time to refocus. I hope you have the opportunity to spend time on your own in a not so stressful environment to reflect on what next steps should be.

 

[ThisUnrest]

Good to hear from you. Sorry you are feeling confused and stuck.