Story Looking for NEETS or pseudo NEETS without hobbies, interests or past experiences.

[eryu]

I've been fucked up and unable to focus on things since beginning of adolescence

Even just watching YouTube videos or reading Wikipedia articles was prohibitively difficult when I was younger and I'm currently stuck in a state where the ability to consume any regular entertainment that might distract me from my horrible life is nigh impossible.
No developed music taste which is a huge source of embarrassment and pain because I think that would have helped me get through a lot of my life cushioning a lot of the blows.
Almost everyone very apparently had more going for them in terms of things to talk about. Memories of interests and small enjoyable things that they can talk about without each one being hideously painful. I do talk about a smattering of things but it is shallow, not much knowledge about anything.. Incapable of acquiring much more at any reasonable rate and whenever I'm talking about thing with fondness it is in a state where I'm managing to suspend the grief of each memory being a reminder of an unbearably shallow wasted life.

I'm looking for people with similar experience to talk to.
I'm looking for people who find it hard to talk to others because of lack of interest, experiences, etc.

There will be different degrees of course but might as well see if anyone comes.

Earlier on in life I was extremely confused and never felt settled or able to take things in. Plus vicious intense social anxiety which fucked everything even more.. Now it is sort of the same but with neurological damage (acquired just as I thought thing may turn around finally). But minus the (worst of the) social anxiety.

Talking with others is one of the only things I can do that helps but I can think of little to say and it is hard to relate and very alienating

Anyway hope you enjoyed reading
Maybe I can find some others in similar boat

 

[valleyofthedolls]

You talk about having no developed music taste, but what's stopping you from just listening to music and finding out what you like? It could be an enjoyable experience for you!

 

[eryu]

"neurological damage"

Would top the list right now without going into more exhaustive detail.

I already try. Regularly. As energy and other symptoms allow
And it is generally not an enjoyable experience.

Anyway I would like to keep this thread to find other people with serious struggle engaging in interests and who may relate on this problem. Perhaps it will easier to go into more detail and find constructive solutions (if there are any to be found) with others who have similar experiences.

 

[Charly]

I'm in your same boat. I regularly meet deep interesting people through my boyfriend and i keep always silent during conversations. Nothing to add on top of anything, never an interesting insight and i'm often lost regardless of the topic that is being discussed. It's the reason i want to end everything. I'm ignorant, shallow and dumb and i also don't do anything all day. I don't have particular interests. I feel extremely guilty for having people care of me and i feel like they should just stop so i could go without remorse. I also feel extremely alienated. Sorry if that was depressing

 

[eryu]

I'm in your same boat. I regularly meet deep interesting people through my boyfriend and i keep always silent during conversations. Nothing to add on top of anything, never an interesting insight and i'm often lost regardless of the topic that is being discussed. It's the reason i want to end everything. I'm ignorant, shallow and dumb and i also don't do anything all day. I don't have particular interests. I feel extremely guilty for having people care of me and i feel like they should just stop so i could go without remorse. I also feel extremely alienated. Sorry if that was depressing

No no don't worry about being depressing. It is sasu after all. Its a very sad state to be in and causes a lot profound shame. I have more to say but I'm nearly sleep now.

 

[SweetChariot]

I consider myself the same, been living life in my room all the time, most of my hobbies are indoors just watchign or playing something
Used to had friends in school and went around but didn't really amount to much beside hanging out
Did exactly 2 months of work and it stressed me so much it regressed me to this state for this and here i am, i can relate to what you're saying, i haven't been living a life at all and i just want to get it over with

 

[bagel12]

I've been fucked up and unable to focus on things since beginning of adolescence

Even just watching YouTube videos or reading Wikipedia articles was prohibitively difficult when I was younger and I'm currently stuck in a state where the ability to consume any regular entertainment that might distract me from my horrible life is nigh impossible.
No developed music taste which is a huge source of embarrassment and pain because I think that would have helped me get through a lot of my life cushioning a lot of the blows.
Almost everyone very apparently had more going for them in terms of things to talk about. Memories of interests and small enjoyable things that they can talk about without each one being hideously painful. I do talk about a smattering of things but it is shallow, not much knowledge about anything.. Incapable of acquiring much more at any reasonable rate and whenever I'm talking about thing with fondness it is in a state where I'm managing to suspend the grief of each memory being a reminder of an unbearably shallow wasted life.

I'm looking for people with similar experience to talk to.
I'm looking for people who find it hard to talk to others because of lack of interest, experiences, etc.

There will be different degrees of course but might as well see if anyone comes.

Earlier on in life I was extremely confused and never felt settled or able to take things in. Plus vicious intense social anxiety which fucked everything even more.. Now it is sort of the same but with neurological damage (acquired just as I thought thing may turn around finally). But minus the (worst of the) social anxiety.

Talking with others is one of the only things I can do that helps but I can think of little to say and it is hard to relate and very alienating

Anyway hope you enjoyed reading
Maybe I can find some others in similar boat

i am sorry that you're going through this, it sounds very isolating and difficult :( i hope your neurological symptoms improve

i have friends who are similar, they don't have hobbies/interests, they dont talk about topics or about themselves, often because of trauma and chronic illness. these experiences make their life more difficult and they feel shame and sadness about it.

but in my friendships with them, it's a trait i really appreciate, i dont view it as negative. i like that i can just be in their presence. i do chill activities with them that dont require a lot of talking, like coloring books, legos, playing a simple game together, watching a chill nature video together, or sitting at a park with them. i can just exist with them without expectations, pressure, or judgment.

it's really nice, and they are some of my most cherished friendships. i feel more comfortable around them than i do with my more talkative friends. because with talkative friends, i have to prove myself, pretend im not depressed, and justify how i spend my free time, which is less pleasant.

what i am trying to say is that there are people out there who truly appreciate people like you. i hope that they come into your life, because you deserve friends who like you for who you are :)

 

[LongJacks]

I've been fucked up and unable to focus on things since beginning of adolescence

Even just watching YouTube videos or reading Wikipedia articles was prohibitively difficult when I was younger and I'm currently stuck in a state where the ability to consume any regular entertainment that might distract me from my horrible life is nigh impossible.
No developed music taste which is a huge source of embarrassment and pain because I think that would have helped me get through a lot of my life cushioning a lot of the blows.
Almost everyone very apparently had more going for them in terms of things to talk about. Memories of interests and small enjoyable things that they can talk about without each one being hideously painful. I do talk about a smattering of things but it is shallow, not much knowledge about anything.. Incapable of acquiring much more at any reasonable rate and whenever I'm talking about thing with fondness it is in a state where I'm managing to suspend the grief of each memory being a reminder of an unbearably shallow wasted life.

I'm looking for people with similar experience to talk to.
I'm looking for people who find it hard to talk to others because of lack of interest, experiences, etc.

There will be different degrees of course but might as well see if anyone comes.

Earlier on in life I was extremely confused and never felt settled or able to take things in. Plus vicious intense social anxiety which fucked everything even more.. Now it is sort of the same but with neurological damage (acquired just as I thought thing may turn around finally). But minus the (worst of the) social anxiety.

Talking with others is one of the only things I can do that helps but I can think of little to say and it is hard to relate and very alienating

Anyway hope you enjoyed reading
Maybe I can find some others in similar boat

I've pretty much went through the same thing and Ik how hollow it feels not being able to watch a video or a movie without getting irritated or listening to music without getting bored, or playing a video game and not feeling any joy just... nothingness... it's a scary feeling... being desensitised is cruel

I don't consider myself entirely a NEET but I kind of am, I don't go out the house often if at all but I constantly go around my mom's house and talk with her and such (Not a good talker but forced to socialize with her although it's like talking to a brick wall) If only I lived in my own place I would gladly become a NEET, I hate socializing irl it's awkward and it sucks ass... I completely understand your feelings and most people here will too

 

[eryu]

I meant to reply individually
But I have been very confused and in pain and cannot think

Do the rest of you have a fair idea of how you ended up like this? And do you have hopes that you can ever resolve these issues?

For me the short version is
-Mother with low self esteem +Abusive brother
-medication fucking up my mind and emotions, always tired
-hoarded house that triggered ocd and I couldn't relax in

I developed severe anxiety and low self esteem, was always tired and confused and could barely speak to people and learned that no one really understood anyway.

So my life became a densely packed network of triggers that I alternated between avoiding, suffering through and resting from. It snowballed and every inroad I tried to make for progress just ran into a ditch.

If i didn't have confusion or chemical sensitivity or if I lived somewhere that wasn't chaotic then I thought maybe I could recover but I increasingly feel the psychological damage and the lack of any healthy past experiences has ruined my mind permanently.

Really when I think back to my childhood I was anxious, adrift and depressed already so it wasn't a good place to start from. I attribute this the family dynamics and being very sensitive and overwhelmed. I was diagnosed with Asperger's quite young

 

[delinquentsandwich]

yeah that about describes me as well
I don't really have any hobbies anymore
I've become a very shallow and uninteresting person
I spend most of my time dissociating or watching videos

my brain has also become really.. sluggish
I am incapable of adding any sort of value to a conversation now
even writing this out I am struggling a lot
I've tried to exercise my brain by playing chess or just doing random math exercises
but I quickly lost interest in even trying

I have many memories, both bad and good but I hate recalling any of them and now over time I kinda just forget everything
now that my brain doesn't think that much, I kind of just sit here feeling devoid of emotion

I tried to go to college and it went fine for a bit
but then I just.. stopped caring
mostly because it was stressing me out I think
I've never been smart

only thing I don't have is the anxiety that most do
I don't know how to help with it and it really sucks

 

[Archness]

I honestly never really felt a strong sense of "Self", though I could say I had an inflated sense of ability and ego when I was young. However, I could never truly understand or think deeply about anything even though I'm intelligent.

That all must've sounded contradictory, but that's really how I feel, and it'd give a sense what "Sense of Self" I do have. I'm neurodivergent, Autism, and considering it's an innate trait of myself I'll really live and die like this. I have no life, or friends, or real interests in life. Well, ofc there's superficial small things, I still at least write and program, but so very little, it's disheartening how little I can to even on things I want to do.

Compared to before, I'm more aware but duller, or maybe I simply have a more true and accurate awareness of my capabilities. Honestly, it's very difficult to even think of a non-NEET life when realistically my life will amount to working just to float around like I am right now.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Become a goth/emo and a tailor, it wont fix any of your problems whatsoever and people will still treat you like shit, but at least you'll look damn good during the whole thing.

Source; it did nothing for me, but damn im fashionable now.

 

[somethingisntreal]

I dont have the energy to type a comprehensive reply, but I'm in a similar position. No interests, no hobbies, no talents. Just that perpetual brain fog. It takes precisely 3 weeks for me to run out of things to say when I meet a new person. Beneath the facade of anime and video games I'm just a soulless husk of suicide ideation and self loathing. My entire life after I entered puberty has been a blur. No real experiences. I could relate to having no proper music taste as well – I was taught at a young age that music, dance, singing and other arts are meant for r*tards and I'm just supposed to dedicate my life to formal education.

 

[Canto XIII]

Reporting for duty.
My mental issues have taken up my whole life. Most NEETs cope with music, games, anime or shows, but starting even something so passive feels like a chore. I have nothing to say about myself from the last ten years or so.

 

[supremacyofdeath]

I wasn't always a neet but i definitely am one now. Or at least im a loser now.
I have a girlfriend but things are weird between us so I can't exactly hang with her like I used to. I work but I don't make a lot of money, maybe 50 bucks a day but I don't work everyday. I play video games but I'm not good at any of them. I live with my family. I'm fat and I'm ugly. I have some hobbies but none that I'm exceptionally good at. I don't have good music taste and I'm too poor to afford streaming services or movies so I don't watch a lot of media. I'm really just boring and lame.

 

[sheburnedmedown]

I've been fucked up and unable to focus on things since beginning of adolescence

Even just watching YouTube videos or reading Wikipedia articles was prohibitively difficult when I was younger and I'm currently stuck in a state where the ability to consume any regular entertainment that might distract me from my horrible life is nigh impossible.
No developed music taste which is a huge source of embarrassment and pain because I think that would have helped me get through a lot of my life cushioning a lot of the blows.
Almost everyone very apparently had more going for them in terms of things to talk about. Memories of interests and small enjoyable things that they can talk about without each one being hideously painful. I do talk about a smattering of things but it is shallow, not much knowledge about anything.. Incapable of acquiring much more at any reasonable rate and whenever I'm talking about thing with fondness it is in a state where I'm managing to suspend the grief of each memory being a reminder of an unbearably shallow wasted life.

I'm looking for people with similar experience to talk to.
I'm looking for people who find it hard to talk to others because of lack of interest, experiences, etc.

There will be different degrees of course but might as well see if anyone comes.

Earlier on in life I was extremely confused and never felt settled or able to take things in. Plus vicious intense social anxiety which fucked everything even more.. Now it is sort of the same but with neurological damage (acquired just as I thought thing may turn around finally). But minus the (worst of the) social anxiety.

Talking with others is one of the only things I can do that helps but I can think of little to say and it is hard to relate and very alienating

Anyway hope you enjoyed reading
Maybe I can find some others in similar boat

In the same boat here. Never really developed a self and trying to forge one is an almost impossible task due to lack of focus and indecisiveness. My attention span has gotten pretty bad over the years and my intelligence is probably pretty low due to social isolation and very limited education. It's gotten so bad that watching a small movie or an episode of some show is considered productive to me. I want to really work on it but I'm extremely lazy. I might just be doomed forever.

The only thing that I do enjoy is music but I don't create it, only listen. I just have surface level knowledge on it so there's not much to talk about either.

 

[SoonToBeSoil]

Not NEET but I identify a lot with "Earlier on in life I was extremely confused and never felt settled or able to take things in. Plus vicious intense social anxiety which fucked everything even more." and having "an unbearably shallow wasted life." Also not having a developed music taste (I really only ever listen to the same 1 song).

My whole childhood is such a blur. There were so many things that confused me. Everything, really. Even really basic things that I am too embarrassed to admit. Looking back, my parents did not really explain a lot of things to me. I was for a while like a bird who left the nest without being taught how to fly. I figured out almost everything on my own. Things that most people just seem to know, I did not know. I've gotten better at it and I no longer feel like this at 21. Except for things socially, I cannot connect with others in a social way (nor do I want to, except maybe for some hypothetical person similar to me, I've lost hope for this though).