Looking for advice (vent / rant #2)

[penginwrist]

At first, it shocked me when I realized how attention seeky I a m, I feel like a damn jester trying to get people to notice me. I always make stuff about ME even if i dont mean to. I am a bit selfish, I don't know, but I feel so sick.


One of my friends told me they didnt like how I act around them, DUDE, YOU ARE THE ONE GIVING ATTENTION TO ONE SINGLAR PERSON YOU DUMB FUCK!!!! Are you stupid? Can you shut UP for once, though, I think the reason im angry is because they've only known this person for a damn YEAR! youve KNOWN ME FOR 2/3! they don't even care when I TRY to express my feelings, they just get ohhh one of their friends to help me! YOU FAKE ASS FRIEND???? ATLEAST ASK IF IM OKAY LIKE I ALWAYS DO WITH YOU!!!! i hate your huge ego, you think your so special huh!???!??!?!?!? aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Onto another topic;

A few days ago, my friend compared something I created to a series I dislike, I was very upset, but I cant let them see how angry I am, so I just brushed it off saying " Can you NOT say that? It makes me uncomfy." they said sorry but why would I forgive them? They knew I hate that, are they stupid or something? Couldn't you keep it to yourself, or do you just have to insult everything you see, huh? I thought I could trust them, but, i suppose not, I mean its not a big deal i'm just really upset, since I spent time on that design!


But, I realize im not a good friend either, I always make things about me, as I said, I have to beg people to give me validation, like "ohhh please look at my art!! PLEASE!!!" it's not even good so why do I even bother???? I want attention, I hate people. I dont think im a narcissist, I don't always think about myself, but, I just want a little more attention, more praise, anything positive. Whatever though. I'll just stop. Im so lazy i cant even work on a game, make music, draw, paint or anything. Im so tired. Im a slacker.

I just want advice and help pls, be nice

 

[Uninfluential_Karma]

Idk if I can give you any advice that'll help, but it's valid you act that way. I think most people become like this when they've been deprived of attention for too long. This might sound stupid, but have you tried asking the people around you for the things you want? It sucks that it has to be like that sometimes, but if you can at least appear confident and like you have self-respect, hopefully others will follow. I don't think it's bad to be in the spotlight, you could even try putting yourself more out there. Try to become the assertive leader type, and you'll at least get more respect for it.

 

[penginwrist]

Idk if I can give you any advice that'll help, but it's valid you act that way. I think most people become like this when they've been deprived of attention for too long. This might sound stupid, but have you tried asking the people around you for the things you want? It sucks that it has to be like that sometimes, but if you can at least appear confident and like you have self-respect, hopefully others will follow. I don't think it's bad to be in the spotlight, you could even try putting yourself more out there. Try to become the assertive leader type, and you'll at least get more respect for it.

I have asked, usually in private. Alot of times in public too since im very very bad at controlling emotions LOL. they just say "ill try" and then forget. Is a bit annoying. Though thankfully i have someone who listens to me now. Its just sad cuz ive known these ppl for so long. And ty, it did help dw!

 

[Manfrotto99]

I know another poster told me to stop playing psychologist, but I just wanted to share my unprofessional opinion from a pleb who has spent a lot of time around narcissistic family members. I don't think you narcissistic anymore than the average person. You seem sensitive and that often goes with being creative and maybe have some high values and expections of others. Nothing wrong with that. You did mention feeling neglected by your parents in another post and I was wondering if you might have some post traumatic stress too as that personally makes me extra sensitive and angry, flying of the handle in a way I would not otherwise do. We all need to feel listened too and it seems youve been shut down and your art is a way of expressing yourself so its natural for you to take it so personally amd get offended, even feeling angry about it and no good at it when that is often untrue. Why say anything at all if they are a friend and know it will offend you. Sounds like you really need some encouragement instead. Some people just dont think.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I feel like a damn jester