bpdwriter
Member
- Jul 23, 2025
- 49
I remember joining last fall, when I had a December deadline because I was in mounting debt, unemployed and just depressed. Then... I got a job in December! It is also half work from home with amazing benefits. I'm debt free (except for student loans, but those will be forgiven after enough time).
But...
This week was a hard week, today even harder. I went to an event and took a picture with some flowers at the photobooth and was triggered into thinking, "this might be it. i should write my goodbye notes on this picture".
Honestly, some days I think the only thing keeping me around are the fact that I don't know what happens after death and that I don't want to go through the pain of dying.
Anyway, this is a somewhat of a nihilistic, keep going post because things really did get better, even if the sadness and lack of enjoyment of life is there, stability and disposable income can do a hell of a lot to make each day okay.
But...
This week was a hard week, today even harder. I went to an event and took a picture with some flowers at the photobooth and was triggered into thinking, "this might be it. i should write my goodbye notes on this picture".
Honestly, some days I think the only thing keeping me around are the fact that I don't know what happens after death and that I don't want to go through the pain of dying.
Anyway, this is a somewhat of a nihilistic, keep going post because things really did get better, even if the sadness and lack of enjoyment of life is there, stability and disposable income can do a hell of a lot to make each day okay.
