iftheworldwasending
My prayer is that when I die, all of hell rejoice.
- Sep 26, 2020
- 131
it's been quite some time, but i'm back. just needed to vent for a minute.
does anyone else feel like no one cares? i mean, i know people say they care and they would be sad if/when i ctb, but i don't think the pain of that outweighs the pain that i bring them being alive. i'm constantly looking for reassurance that people care about me, which i guess is even what this post is doing.
i guess that's part of the beauty of being alive, finding people who love you and care for you, but i sometimes just feel so fucking lonely. and not lonely in the sense of no one being around, but something deeper. i feel like i'm always looking for someone to love ME, the actual me that i am when no one else is around, and i hold on hope that i will find that one day, but sometimes i think that day will realistically never come and i'm not sure why i'm pushing off ctb when it would cause others to live a happier life.
this was one big run on sentence, i just wanted to know if anyone else felt this same way.
xx
does anyone else feel like no one cares? i mean, i know people say they care and they would be sad if/when i ctb, but i don't think the pain of that outweighs the pain that i bring them being alive. i'm constantly looking for reassurance that people care about me, which i guess is even what this post is doing.
i guess that's part of the beauty of being alive, finding people who love you and care for you, but i sometimes just feel so fucking lonely. and not lonely in the sense of no one being around, but something deeper. i feel like i'm always looking for someone to love ME, the actual me that i am when no one else is around, and i hold on hope that i will find that one day, but sometimes i think that day will realistically never come and i'm not sure why i'm pushing off ctb when it would cause others to live a happier life.
this was one big run on sentence, i just wanted to know if anyone else felt this same way.
xx