Long term ostracism/chronic social rejection. Any experiences?

[Tegan_sky]

I wonder if anyone here besides me has had experiences of repeatedly failing to make new friends? Or being left out/excluded from groups? I have been Googling it and this is one snippet I found...

>>>If exposure to ostracism continues over a long period of time, then the individual's resources for coping are depleted, and he or she is likely to experience alienation, depression, help- lessness, and unworthiness.<<<

I was told when I was younger, by an older neighbor, she said "it is a lot harder to make friends when you get older." Well, having tried and tried for about 11 years, I can say, I haven't found it "harder" to make new friends, I have found it impossible. I have ADHD, Bipolar, and I believe I fall somewhere on the autism spectrum. Some of the people I tried with, they would give me their number and when I called, they would not answer or return the calls. So in those instances I don't think I even got the chance to blow it, saying anything wrong. Others, knowing I get very depressed, in support groups on Zoom, would say to me in the Zoom chat, "call me anytime." or "call/text anytime." I got rejected by them. Got to call or text one time only, then, nothing.

There are more experiences, the quote I inserted is how I feel these days, unworthy and unable to cope.

I know I have maybe gone all over the place with my thoughts...bottom line, to ask, has anyone else here experienced this, and has it changed, or have you come to accept it, that you can't find new friends? If anyone has accepted it and come to peace with it, I would love to hear how you did it.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

Ill just hop in quick and say yes.

Im not to the point where i cant make an attempt to talk but i haven't had a close relationship since primary school (age 8)

Elementary for US people i guess.

Can't mentally forge anything towards a person, i have more reaction to online people i know.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

When I was younger, like middle school/ highschool, yeah. I drifted around from clique to clique. When i got to college it was such a challenge that I eventually stopped trying (I had to go to college in a place with a different dialect which made communicating difficult).
When I started working i'd sort of develop a defense mechanism which involved just asking a few questions and based on their responses, i'd decide if I wanted to continue reaching out or not.. I guess it helped in a way for me to think that instead of them rejecting me, it was me rejecting them.

 

[Little_Suzy]

What happens if you try to make friends with people who have the same disorders as you?

I get along well with people who share two diagnoses and work in the same industry. It's as if we're a close-knit group that completely understands and trusts each other.

Do people on the autism spectrum try to befriend one another, and if so, how do those friendships develop?