Long suicide notes

[Mikulal1995]

I'm in the finishing stages of writing my suicide note. It is about twenty pages long now, and I've tailored certain sections meant for different people. The neutral letter shall be presented as such, openly. The rest of them will be in sealed, stamped envelopes ready to put in the mail.

The reason I want my letters to be long is because I want people to know what led up to my suicide, and certain events in childhood that fucked me up in the long run. No one cared enough, no cares now either way, and I'm tired of living for the sake of others.

What is your opinion on long suicide notes?

 

[Luke]

I don't think it matters. No one will care so just do what you feel like doing.

 

[millefeui]

The more you write, the more content people have to possibly interpret in the wrong way. That is the only drawback I can think of when it comes to longer suicide "notes".

My note (actually an autobiography of sorts) is massive and it is nowhere near complete, but my goal is to leave a site (similar to this one) so being long comes with the territory. Specific notes to specific people are shorter, though.

 

[Life sucks]

The more you write, the more content people have to possibly interpret in the wrong way. That is the only drawback I can think of when it comes to longer suicide "notes".

Yea, languages are inherently ambiguous and written text isn't always understandable as the writer wants.

 

[Mikulal1995]

I don't think it matters. No one will care so just do what you feel like doing.

How bleak, and how very, very true. Nobody cares about me now. I doubt anyone will after I'm gone.

 

[Mikulal1995]

Yea, languages are inherently ambiguous and written text isn't always understandable as the writer wants.

I'm a good writer, though. I've had op-ed pieces published and even some short stories. Whatever I leave behind will clear and thoroughly edited.

 

[Life sucks]

I'm a good writer, though. I've had op-ed pieces published and even some short stories. Whatever I leave behind will clear and thoroughly edited.

It is not about the quality of writing. Natural languages are inherently ambiguous, words and sentences can have different meanings for example and one can't dictate how the reader interpret them. Sure you can write but its not guaranteed. I'm just speaking scientifically.
Not to mention how readers can be biased and interpret it like they want in some cases.

As I said, this is just from scientific/theoretical point of view. However, the remaining fact is the more you write, the more probability of error happening.

 

[millefeui]

To support the post above, just look at how books can be interpreted in various different ways. Look no further than the Bible. It is a massive book and to this day people can't agree on one final interpretation of it. There are numerous and they are all valid, in a way or another.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

In more than four decades of life, I've only met one person who cared about me, and she was very, very anti-suicide and very religious. I'm sure a note to her would have been next to useless. Everyone else I've ever met--from school friends to coworkers..., well, do you remember ever watching a show in which someone opens up to someone else, and the other person becomes all serious and listens intently to what the confessor has to say? Even if the person being spoken to doesn't agree with what's being heard, they still, at least in the movies, generally give the other person enough dignity to listen to them.

Well, I've never, ever once experienced that. Whenever I begin to tell "trusted" others what I'm feeling, no matter how serious the situation, they get either that bored, glazed expression on their face before shuffling off OR they get angry b/c I'm not supposed to have feelings. I'm 100% convinced ANY suicide note, other than to my attorney alerting him that certain legal documents should be executed, would be worthless. People first have to give a damn about you before they'd listen to you or care what you have to say (or about what you've written).

Things may be different for you. I hope they are. Peace.

 

[sadak_the_wanderer]

I remember a fairly decent comedy skit about someone who had survived an attempt. None of his friends had read his very long suicide note. Some dark chuckles there.

At least, I hope, I could avoid being a bore in death if I could not quite manage in it life. And whom, truly, would be convinced by twenty thousand words if they would not be by two? Many notes, in my opinion, boil down to "no more." Just two words. Even those seem redundant; nobody ever killed themselves because they want more of what they had before.

I could write something long, novel-length even, but I am speaking a language only people here would understand.

 

[Threads]

Listen. If you feel the need to write letters, I support that.

But you don't owe anyone anything. Don't ever let that type of thinking prevent you from carrying out your choice.

 

[typx]

I'm a good writer, though. I've had op-ed pieces published and even some short stories. Whatever I leave behind will clear and thoroughly edited.

I think you need to do whatever will give you the most peace moving forward with your plans. If writing a long letter explaining yourself and saying goodbye to everyone is what you need, then do it. I know for myself that I need to come clean in a way I've never done before. Almost like a confessional at a church.

Short or long, a note can be misinterpreted. It can really have little to do with your writing and a lot more to do with the fact that someone is reading the final expression of a person that is now dead and that they care about. As some have pointed out.. yes, everything is subjective, what an amazing realization. I doubt any note truly conveys the mind of the suicidal to the living. Something so personal is bound to get very mixed up in the individual experiences a person had with you. Maybe that's the beauty, that it's different for everyone.

 

[saffron]

I used to think I'd write a relatively longish note. Now I don't even think I can be bothered writing one, it also changes nothing. I don't think I have much to elaborate on or let people know of anyway. I'm not trying to fault anyone or prove anything.

 

[ultraviolet sin]

I like the idea of voice recordings because I've seen people grieve deaths and call their saved voicemails from mom, etc.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

but my goal is to leave a site (similar to this one) so being long comes with the territory.

I've never thought of leaving a website like that as a note. That's fascinating. I'm actually impressed by the amount of detail he's put in (even the off-topic 'on this day...' stuff)

 

[icky]

Notes are inherently personal, they're your final chance to be heard by others so notes can be as long or as short as you need! Plus, it could be quite cathartic for the grieving to be left with something that's your pure honesty. A short note could leave them agonizing for more answers but maybe that's not a wholly undesirable effect. Regardless, you're following through with your choice to CTB so you should get to have free choice of the length and content your last words.

I like the idea of voice recordings because I've seen people grieve deaths and call their saved voicemails from mom, etc.

A good idea if you're leaving someone behind. I've been doing something similar so the grieving and recovery process is easier on the ones I care about.

 

[Dip]

Put a "TLDR" section at the bottom.

 

[Oblivion]

wow, mine is just one page.

 

[acher]

I think long notes are better. You've demonstrated to the world the depth and breadth of your suffering, and even if nobody reads it, it's still more potent somehow.
Ever read 'The Idiot'? Ippolit Terentyev's suicide note has the kind of passion I want to go out with.
Of course, anything I write will just be garbage, so I'm gonna ctb without a note.