Venting Lonely

[caesium]

I don't really know what to say. I just feel lonely. People in my life say they're there for me but they either don't seem to have time for me or they get mad when I tell them how I really feel. I hate how much suicidal people are encouraged to ask for help only for there to be no help available.

 

[Fadenself00]

thats exactly my experience as well.. it sucks

 

[claracatchingthebus]

A lot of times the government and mental health industry say if you are feeling helpless and sad, you should reach out to friends and family. They do this in the hopes of somehow getting you hospitalized, diagnosed, and drugging you.

The social mores and social rules do not change when someone is suicidal. In other words, if you tell your friend Frieda that you're sad and she goes "cheer up and watch a pretty sunset," then if you do not go "what a wonderful idea Friendly Frieda! You're so nice" then you have violated social ettiquette and Frieda won't like you anymore.

You absolutely should never try to interact with non-depressed people while depressed if you can't follow social norms due to depression.

The government provides the worst advice for depression that is designed to make the government and psych industry look good but is disasterous for actual depressed people. It's fundamentally about selfishness, looking good, and placating people, even if it had zero positive impact.

 

[Theresnoescape]

A lot of times the government and mental health industry say if you are feeling helpless and sad, you should reach out to friends and family. They do this in the hopes of somehow getting you hospitalized, diagnosed, and drugging you.

The social mores and social rules do not change when someone is suicidal. In other words, if you tell your friend Frieda that you're sad and she goes "cheer up and watch a pretty sunset," then if you do not go "what a wonderful idea Friendly Frieda! You're so nice" then you have violated social ettiquette and Frieda won't like you anymore.

You absolutely should never try to interact with non-depressed people while depressed if you can't follow social norms due to depression.

The government provides the worst advice for depression that is designed to make the government and psych industry look good but is disasterous for actual depressed people. It's fundamentally about selfishness, looking giod, and placating people, even if it had zero positive impact.

Definitely agree with this. I've told one person, other than a doctor, and it didn't go well at all.

I don't really know what to say. I just feel lonely. People in my life say they're there for me but they either don't seem to have time for me or they get mad when I tell them how I really feel. I hate how much suicidal people are encouraged to ask for help only for there to be no help available.

Yeah me too, surrounded by people most days, yet feel so lonely.

 

[Fadenself00]

A lot of times the government and mental health industry say if you are feeling helpless and sad, you should reach out to friends and family. They do this in the hopes of somehow getting you hospitalized, diagnosed, and drugging you.

The social mores and social rules do not change when someone is suicidal. In other words, if you tell your friend Frieda that you're sad and she goes "cheer up and watch a pretty sunset," then if you do not go "what a wonderful idea Friendly Frieda! You're so nice" then you have violated social ettiquette and Frieda won't like you anymore.

You absolutely should never try to interact with non-depressed people while depressed if you can't follow social norms due to depression.

The government provides the worst advice for depression that is designed to make the government and psych industry look good but is disasterous for actual depressed people. It's fundamentally about selfishness, looking giod, and placating people, even if it had zero positive impact.

pretty well on-point.. My situation was a really big eye-opener to me, as to how bad humans are at empathy/ intelligence in general

 

[claracatchingthebus]

pretty well on-point.. My situation was a really big eye-opener to me, as to how bad humans are at empathy/ intelligence in general

I think it's more the fault of the psych industry and government lying to vulnerable depressed people.

Imagine you start feeling better and get a 40 hour a week job making ends meet. You do all the cooking, cleaning, are constantly tited, and have barely any free time.

You have Sat and Sundays off. Friday you clean your place and fall asleep early because you are so tired. Saturday you pay bills, do errands for the week, and watch some TV and still feel awful from the work week. It's Sunday, you spwnd an hour or two online because it makes you feel better. You now have about 6-7 hours before needing to sleep and start another miseraable week. You have made plans to hang out with Dirk.

Dirk comes over, complains about depression and being suicidal, you play some video games, he complains about wanting to die when you are out getting lunch, you get wasted in the evening with Dirk and he says he may not be around in a year.

Now time to go to bed and off to another miserable week of work! Was it fun hanging out with Dirk and using the brief break from hell to talk with him? Or did it actually just suck?

Next week Dirk calls and you just don't pick up.

That's reality, but the mental health industry preaches shit about awareness and opening up to people because it makes THEM look good. It is never about honesty or accuracy, it's about profit, self-aggrandizement, and exploitation.

 

[Fadenself00]

That's reality, but the mental health industry preaches shit about awareneds and open up to people because it makes THEM look good. It is never about honesty or accuracy, it's about profit, self-aggrandizement, and exploitation.

and with awareness they mean: assess ctb-risk and hospitalize them immediately if confirmed, because they are "sick in the head/not in their right mind"

 

[Cosmophobic]

You absolutely should never try to interact with non-depressed people while depressed if you can't follow social norms due to depression.

Who am I supposed to interact with then? Everyone I know is a card carrying pro-lifer whether they've ever been depressed or not. There's no one to talk to irl for most of us.

Dirk comes over, complains about depression and being suicidal, you play some video games, he complains about wanting to die when you are out getting lunch, you get wasted in the evening with Dirk and he says he may not be around in a year.

Now time to go to bed and off to another miserable week of work! Was it fun hanging out with Dirk and using the brief break from hell to talk with him? Or did it actually just suck?

Next week Dirk calls and you just don't pick up.

I'd honestly love to hang out with Dirk. He sounds like he gets it.

 

[neverLoved]

I think it's more the fault of the psych industry and government lying to vulnerable depressed people.

Imagine you start feeling better and get a 40 hour a week job making ends meet. You do all the cooking, cleaning, are constantly tited, and have barely any free time.

You have Sat and Sundays off. Friday you clean your place and fall asleep early because you are so tired. Saturday you pay bills, do errands for the week, and watch some TV and still feel awful from the work week. It's Sunday, you spwnd an hour or two online because it makes you feel better. You now have about 6-7 hours before needing to sleep and start another miseraable week. You have made plans to hang out with Dirk.

Dirk comes over, complains about depression and being suicidal, you play some video games, he complains about wanting to die when you are out getting lunch, you get wasted in the evening with Dirk and he says he may not be around in a year.

Now time to go to bed and off to another miserable week of work! Was it fun hanging out with Dirk and using the brief break from hell to talk with him? Or did it actually just suck?

Next week Dirk calls and you just don't pick up.

That's reality, but the mental health industry preaches shit about awareness and opening up to people because it makes THEM look good. It is never about honesty or accuracy, it's about profit, self-aggrandizement, and exploitation.

I have personally experienced this where someone close was so interested in to digging deep in to me trying to make me open up. Resulting in me opening up just for them to end up telling me that it is too much for them and that they need a break -> never speak to me again. Whats worse is that they specifically asked very specific questions. From my own experience this seems to be a very common thing, and I genuinely see anyone who does this as a massive asshole.

Maybe next time asses whether you REALLY want to know anything before hurting the person even more.

I agree though, it's the entire mental health industry pushing this entire thing to speak about it with your close ones.

 

[58Alice85]

The lack of any meaningful relationships seems to be a defining characteristic of life in the 21st century.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

I have personally experienced this where someone close was so interested in to digging deep in to me trying to make me open up. Resulting in me opening up just for them to end up telling me that it is too much for them and that they need a break -> never speak to me again. Whats worse is that they specifically asked very specific questions. From my own experience this seems to be a very common thing, and I genuinely see anyone who does this as a massive asshole.

Maybe next time asses whether you REALLY want to know anything before hurting the person even more.

I agree though, it's the entire mental health industry pushing this entire thing to speak about it with your close ones.

When people ask you what's wrong and want you to open up, they are saying your mood is bumming me out, maybe I can be the hero and make you feel better with two minutes of platitudes and bullshit i read online about awareness.

The best thing to do in that situation is fake a bad headache or emergency, apologize, and leave.

The mental health industry wants you to open up because they do not actually care about you at all. If there is a 5% chance that opening up will result in you being hospitalized and put on psych meds and a 95% chance of wrecking your friendship, that is an expected amount of money of 5 percent of 100K (25K hospital stay plus years of meds and appointments) or 5K. Of course they'll tell you to open up and wreck your friendship. They are horrible parasitic monsters who only want money.

Who am I supposed to interact with then? Everyone I know is a card carrying pro-lifer whether they've ever been depressed or not. There's no one to talk to irl for most of us.

I'd honestly love to hang out with Dirk. He sounds like he gets it.

If you are super depressed, take up running, and don't wreck those friendships, just say you are super busy and only text once and a while to be nice. If it's less than 3 months of depression, those people will usually still be there after. If you need to socialize, find a support group for depressed people. If it's going to be morr than 3 months or you're worried about losing the friendships, only mskenplans when you are feeling your best and don't mention depression, mental illness, suicide, or sad things at all.

I once new this guy who was really good looking and slightly funny. Everyone wanted to hang out with him because he was hot. He once talked with some people and mentioned how after he broke up with a girlfriend he was sad and had to do exercize until he felt better. That is the ONLY sort of mental health sound bite people like and consider deep, the sort of mental hralth wisdom that ends up with something uplifting in less than 100 seconds and really, I'm not sure if his statement was likable merely because he was good looking. He was mostly an idiot and only mildly funny.

Most people want to have fun when hanging out with friends. You can sometjmes get away with a little sadness or mention mental health in a hallmark platitude meaningless way, but usually people hate that shit. If you are depressed, it's actually the worst time to discuss mental health with your friends because you can't respond in socially appropriate ways.

If you are not depressed, and having a conversation with a friend about loss, it can be deep or meaningful. If you are actually depressed, and can't follow nornal social expectations or unwritten social rules, people get annoyed super fast.

The lack of any meaningful relationships seems to be a defining characteristic of life in the 21st century.

It probably depends on the country.

In the US, religious people voted based on social issues instead of economic interest and so people in the us still have no free health care and few vacation days. Most people are overworked and exhausted, then glued to phones. This may be more of a US problem, primarily caused bybreligious idiots who will vote for the rich elite 10 out of 10 times if it means new rules that hurt trans people.

 

[Cosmophobic]

If you are super depressed, take up running, and don't wreck those friendships, just say you are super busy and only text once and a while to be nice. If it's less than 3 months of depression, those people will usually still be there after. If you need to socialize, find a support group for depressed people. If it's going to be morr than 3 months or you're worried about losing the friendships, only mskenplans when you are feeling your best and don't mention depression, mental illness, suicide, or sad things at all.

I once new this guy who was really good looking and slightly funny. Everyone wanted to hang out with him because he was hot. He once talked with some people and mentioned how after he broke up with a girlfriend he was sad and had to do exercize until he felt better. That is the ONLY sort of mental health sound bite people like and consider deep, the sort of mental hralth wisdom that ends up with something uplifting in less than 100 seconds and really, I'm not sure if his statement was likable merely because he was good looking. He was mostly an idiot and only mildly funny.

Most people want to have fun when hanging out with friends. You can sometjmes get away with a little sadness or mention mental health in a hallmark platitude meaningless way, but usually people hate that shit. If you are depressed, it's actually the worst time to discuss mental health with your friends because you can't respond in socially appropriate ways.

If you are not depressed, and having a conversation with a friend about loss, it can be deep or meaningful. If you are actually depressed, and can't follow nornal social expectations or unwritten social rules, people get annoyed super fast.

You're not wrong I know that from experience. It's just a bit tragic that the worst time to reach out to friends is when you're at your lowest.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I also feel lonely, and what's even worse I am the only one from my country here on this forum. I did a quick search and I found out that there has been no users from Macedonia ever before on this forum.
I did a very extensive search and I found out that if I ctb by means of SN, I will be the first one officially to do it in my country. I guess that's why anyone with an ID can buy SN here in Macedonia, it has never been abused before... At least I have that.

The lack of any meaningful relationships seems to be a defining characteristic of life in the 21st century.

Technology that was invented to brings us closer (internet, mobile phones, social media) drove us apart

 

[itsgone2]

I also feel lonely, and what's even worse I am the only one from my country here on this forum. I did a quick search and I found out that there has been no users from Macedonia ever before on this forum

I get how that would make you feel this way. What is it like there? It's pretty nice where I live, in the US. Most are happy. Plenty of rough areas but also plenty of nice too.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I get how that would make you feel this way. What is it like there? It's pretty nice where I live, in the US. Most are happy. Plenty of rough areas but also plenty of nice too.

Macedonia is the worst European country for someone to live in, for few reasons. We have the lowest salaries in entire Europe, the average IQ of the entire nation is just 82-85 (don't remember the correct number), as a nation most Macedonians are very selfish and if you see that you succeed in life or getting better, most of them will envy you and some of them will actively try and do their best to bring you down. The corruption is on the same level as some of the worst African countries, and laws exists only on paper. In real life most of the laws are just dead letters on paper. I was one of the lucky ones to avoid poverty - thanks to my parents.
I have never been in USA, but my brother was there back in 2005, and he liked the country very much.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

Macedonia is the worst European country for someone to live in, for few reasons. We have the lowest salaries in entire Europe, the average IQ of the entire nation is just 82-85 (don't remember the correct number), as a nation most Macedonians are very selfish and if you see that you succeed in life or getting better, most of them will envy you and some of them will actively try and do their best to bring you down. The corruption is on the same level as some of the worst African countries, and laws exists only on paper. In real life most of the laws are just dead letters on paper. I was one of the lucky ones to avoid poverty - thanks to my parents.
I have never been in USA, but my brother was there back in 2005, and he liked the country very much.

Why are you sad? The country sounds awful from how you describe it. Would moving somewhere else make you less depressed?

I don't really know what to say. I just feel lonely. People in my life say they're there for me but they either don't seem to have time for me or they get mad when I tell them how I really feel. I hate how much suicidal people are encouraged to ask for help only for there to be no help available.

Have you tried an in person depression support group?

 

[Macedonian1987]

Why are you sad? The country sounds awful from how you describe it. Would moving somewhere else make you less depressed?

Have you tried an in person depression support group?

I would very gladly move out of my country like so many did (Macedonia has a serious problem of people emigrating out, almost a third of my country's population moved out in the last 20 years), but I can't. I have a plethora of health issues, and I'm too depressed and have no energy to do that.
The reasons for my sadness comes from 2 reasons - My chronic pain and my asperger's syndrome. Because of my asperger's I'm avoided by all, even though I try to be nice with everyone.

 

[Mothz]

I would very gladly move out of my country like so many did (Macedonia has a serious problem of people emigrating out, almost a third of my country's population moved out in the last 20 years), but I can't. I have a plethora of health issues, and I'm too depressed and have no energy to do that.
The reasons for my sadness comes from 2 reasons - My chronic pain and my asperger's syndrome. Because of my asperger's I'm avoided by all, even though I try to be nice with everyone.

I can really relate to the mental differences leading to ostracization. People no matter what I do can tell I'm "different" and choose to either stay away from me or talk to me in a tone I can tell they very clearly don't talk to others in. For me it feels like I become an object to people rather than a person when they can tell I am different, </3.

 

[Dukey]

loneliness is one of the biggest causes of depression and a deteriorating mental state.
We're still hardwired for connection and acceptance, it was essential for survival back in the hunter gatherer days.
If you didn't have a tribe, you were basically doomed, because surviving alone was nearly impossible.

People today have become shallow and superficial, and a lot of that blame falls on high speed internet, social media, and dating apps. There are too many options, so why would anyone stay and work on a relationship or build a deeper connection when they can just move on to the next person who demands less or doesn't challenge them to grow?

It's sad, really, because it creates a vicious cycle. People who genuinely want love and real connection give their all, they try to make things work, give themselves completely, only to be disappointed and thrown away. When that happens too many times, they become jaded and start doing the same thing to others, pushing people away to protect themselves from further pain and disappointments.

And so, the cycle keeps repeating.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I can really relate to the mental differences leading to ostracization. People no matter what I do can tell I'm "different" and choose to either stay away from me or talk to me in a tone I can tell they very clearly don't talk to others in. For me it feels like I become an object to people rather than a person when they can tell I am different, </3.

People treat me exactly as you described it in your post.
With the passing years I somehow learned how to live with that feeling of being different, but then... chronic pain came. I can endure the loneliness, but I cannot endure the chronic pain. The chronic pain will be my No.1 reason why I will ctb in a year or two.