Loneliness

[ineverlived]

this pain is actually unbearable. 22M here. can't stand it anymore. never had gf and sex. In the life we came to only once, not being able to live even the simplest human needs such as love and being loved, and spending the most beautiful youth years in pain destroyed me. It drives me crazy that it all depends on the little factors that determine facial beauty like a few inches of bone structure is ruining your life. Those young couples I see outside.. I find it hard to put into words the pain I'm going through. why am i god Why can't I be like normal people? Even 22 years tortured me. I do not intend to see 23 and already ordered SN. I'M ACTUALLY DYING WITHOUT EVEN A SINGLE DATE HAHSHAHJS this sooooo pathetic

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that loneliness can be painful for many and I'm sorry that you are in this situation. Life is certainly very unfair as many people are disadvantaged through no fault of their own. I hope that in whatever happens, you find relief from your suffering.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

this pain is actually unbearable. 22M here. can't stand it anymore. never had gf and sex. In the life we came to only once, not being able to live even the simplest human needs such as love and being loved, and spending the most beautiful youth years in pain destroyed me. It drives me crazy that it all depends on the little factors that determine facial beauty like a few inches of bone structure is ruining your life. Those young couples I see outside.. I find it hard to put into words the pain I'm going through. why am i god Why can't I be like normal people? Even 22 years tortured me. I do not intend to see 23 and already ordered SN. I'M ACTUALLY DYING WITHOUT EVEN A SINGLE DATE HAHSHAHJS this sooooo pathetic

Same, it should theoretically get easier with age though. I was in huge amounts of pain just a year ago and now it's almost easy to deal with; rarely cry about it or have rage attacks now. Are you taking any pills?

 

[ineverlived]

Same, it should theoretically get easier with age though. I was in huge amounts of pain just a year ago and now it's almost easy to deal with; rarely cry about it or have rage attacks now. Are you taking any pills?

No im not. I actually can't describe my feelings it was sadness first, then rage. But now it's diffrent you know some kind of a agony i just can't take it this sh.t is way too brutal

 

[Klophy]

I'm almost 30 in the same situation. I don't feel anger however the loneliness is enough to drive me crazy.

I recognize it won't be like a TV Show where it's nothing but love. I just want to meet someone to mutually share the shit we go through, to lean on each other.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

No im not. I actually can't describe my feelings it was sadness first, then rage. But now it's diffrent you know some kind of a agony i just can't take it this sh.t is way too brutal

Is it mostly IRL stuff or online stuff or thoughts that trigger you with this? I'm thinking that if you somehow aren't aware of what you're missing, there's less of a problem. For me it was the thoughts, I can spin myself into complete agony imagining a relationship. IRL triggers and online ones are less frequent for me and easier to deal with (unless accompanied by the thoughts). Tbh, I kind of have to want to get to crying for it to happen at this point. Dealing with the thoughts (mostly by counter-attacking with other thoughts) is something I've been working on.

Almost forgot, I have an entire thread about coping with it, feel free to add some strats if you have any: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/dealing-with-being-a-pwwarbdho.92950/#post-1639145

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

At long last I had finally fallen in love and committed myself in such a way that I blinded myself to the glaring faults of my partner and a million red flags… Loneliness will inspire us to do do stupid things …. Self destruct even ….

 

[ineverlived]

Is it mostly IRL stuff or online stuff or thoughts that trigger you with this? I'm thinking that if you somehow aren't aware of what you're missing, there's less of a problem. For me it was the thoughts, I can spin myself into complete agony imagining a relationship. IRL triggers and online ones are less frequent for me and easier to deal with (unless accompanied by the thoughts). Tbh, I kind of have to want to get to crying for it to happen at this point. Dealing with the thoughts (mostly by counter-attacking with other thoughts) is something I've been working on.

Almost forgot, I have an entire thread about coping with it, feel free to add some strats if you have any: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/dealing-with-being-a-pwwarbdho.92950/#post-1639145

online stuff is ok to me. just close that page and thats it. but irl is just something else you know.. you can't escape. damn couples are everywhere

 

[Superdeterminist]

Same here. Years and year of solitude. Of wanting but not being wanted. Boring. For me this is not a life worth living, not even remotely. This problem is common, I think. But its commonness makes it no less horrendous.

 

[312]

I hope you find relief in whatever decision you make, I can only imagine how difficult it was and is being for you. What pains would those be?

 

[Ethereal Knight]

Same here. Years and year of solitude. Of wanting but not being wanted. Boring. For me this is not a life worth living, not even remotely. This problem is common, I think. But its commonness makes it no less horrendous.

for me too, it's not a life worth living.

me being deprived of sex, touch, companionship, love and affection is certainly one of the reasons for me to CTB.

society pushes the idea that we should be independent, however it fails to mention that the human nature is not independent, no matter how much propaganda is pushed upon people and how much they believe it.

"Sex is something you do. Sexuality is something you are." (Anna Freud)

 

[Marktheghost]

I'm in the same situation. :-(

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

No im not. I actually can't describe my feelings it was sadness first, then rage. But now it's diffrent you know some kind of a agony i just can't take it this sh.t is way too brutal

sounds like textbook depression - your CNS reacts to everything and every thought, catastrophically - you become obsessed with people who have nothing to do with you, and convince yourself they're way happier than they probably really are, and if you could just be with them and have a slice of what they have, everything would be OK - that's how it effects me anyway

 

[ineverlived]

sounds like textbook depression - your CNS reacts to everything and every thought, catastrophically - you become obsessed with people who have nothing to do with you, and convince yourself they're way happier than they probably really are, and if you could just be with them and have a slice of what they have, everything would be OK - that's how it effects me anyway

Sometimes I think that to fool myself but no. Even if any girl treats me a little bit, butterflies fly in my stomach. I can't even imagine the happiness that being loved, physical contact and sharing your life with someone else will bring. Of course, even if I live these things, life will not have a meaning, people get used to everything and after a certain point they start to be dissatisfied. but I still wished that I could live out the most basic human needs in the life i came to.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I used to really crave a relationship. I had terribly intense crushes on people that were full of longing and pain. To a larger extent, I've become resigned to being alone now (I'm 42). I think I started feeling more comfortable with the situation in my mid-late 30's.

I also recently found out about the term 'limerance'- I wanted to see why I my crushes used to feel so obsessive. Not to say that you suffer from this- I don't know (I would describe it as suffering too- it was awful). Still, it has actually helped me- knowing that I can get like this. It helps me to keep things in perspective.

In some ways I'm probably 'lucky'- I have massive social anxiety and I'm naturally more of a loner, so, being alone probably feels more preferable to being around people. (Although- it's likely my social anxiety saying that- I haven't been around anyone socially since the start of covid).

I guess there's always a part of me that feels sad that I probably could have really loved someone. Still, I think people are such complex things and the chances of two coming together and being blissfully happy are kind of slim. I certainly wouldn't want to end up in a relationship where either of us were unhappy. I think it would be very much worse to feel lonely when you were actually with someone. Also, I know I'd be heartbroken experiencing a breakup.

I hope you are able to find someone to be happy with, or that you become more comfortable being alone. I wish you all the best.

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

Sometimes I think that to fool myself but no. Even if any girl treats me a little bit, butterflies fly in my stomach. I can't even imagine the happiness that being loved, physical contact and sharing your life with someone else will bring. Of course, even if I live these things, life will not have a meaning, people get used to everything and after a certain point they start to be dissatisfied. but I still wished that I could live out the most basic human needs in the life i came to.

true - but after a bit everyone gets annoying and imposes upon your personal time - if you're the kind of person who values being able to be alone for days at a time, without having to consider anyone else, relationships will inevitable result in frustration and wanting people to leave you alone for a while, which most people find insulting - I know I need ME time for days at a time, something which causes others to think I don't care about them, so I'd rather just keep my alone time and do away with the relationships

 

[Ligottian]

Sometimes I think that to fool myself but no. Even if any girl treats me a little bit, butterflies fly in my stomach. I can't even imagine the happiness that being loved, physical contact and sharing your life with someone else will bring. Of course, even if I live these things, life will not have a meaning, people get used to everything and after a certain point they start to be dissatisfied. but I still wished that I could live out the most basic human needs in the life i came to.

The fellow that's your avatar speaks for me. "Loneliness has followed me all my life. In cars, bars, sidewalks...I'm God's lonely man".