Loneliness

[Oyashiro-sama]

I'm 23 years old now and I find myself fucking alone, it's almost impossible for me to socialize with anyone, I've been like that since I was born, and it kills me because I know it's not going to change, on the contrary, it's going to get worse, every time I'll get older and more "weird" more isolated etc ...

The summers become horrible, locked up at home doing nothing, in front of the computer, it's a fucking shit. The few "friends" that I supposedly have are only interested in staying with me when they fail the plan "A" the "B" and the "C", I am the last option always, I really do not feel that they are real friends, and that we We've known since we were kids.

I would like to have a real friend, with whom to share things, with whom I feel good, even if it was not my girlfriend, only a friend.

 

[CRM]

I can relate with the last option thing. My only friend never plays games with me when I ask, but he's always playing something with someone else. I wasted something like $100 on games to play with him that he liked, but he quickly became bored of them and went back to playing something else with someone else.

Feel free to PM me whenever. I know we're just strangers on an internet forum and it's not really a friendship, but I'm willing to listen.

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

I can relate with the last option thing. My only friend never plays games with me when I ask, but he's always playing something with someone else. I wasted something like $100 on games to play with him that he liked, but he quickly became bored of them and went back to playing something else with someone else.

Feel free to PM me whenever. I know we're just strangers on an internet forum and it's not really a friendship, but I'm willing to listen.

Thanks for listening.

Basically I have a "friend" I met at school, we are friends since childhood, he also has a hard time making friends but as soon as he has another friendship more "interesting" than me, we can be months without seeing each other, then when they get angry then It's my turn to stay with him and endure all his slump, when they return to being well we do not see each other again.

And so in a loop, I feel like an "emergency friend", and it hurts because he is the only one I considered a friend.

 

[CRM]

Thanks for listening.

Basically I have a "friend" I met at school, we are friends since childhood, he also has a hard time making friends but as soon as he has another friendship more "interesting" than me, we can be months without seeing each other, then when they get angry then It's my turn to stay with him and endure all his slump, when they return to being well we do not see each other again.

And so in a loop, I feel like an "emergency friend", and it hurts because he is the only one I considered a friend.

Yep, similar situation to me. We met when we didn't have anybody else, but now he has a new group of friends and I get pushed to the side. He flat-out ignores my messages sometimes. He claims not to get them, but I don't believe him. I get every one of his that he sends.

I think I'm just the loser nobody wants to be associated with, but when they have a problem, they can come to me because they don't want to show weakness to their other friends.

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

Yep, similar situation to me. We met when we didn't have anybody else, but now he has a new group of friends and I get pushed to the side. He flat-out ignores my messages sometimes. He claims not to get them, but I don't believe him. I get every one of his that he sends.

I think I'm just the loser nobody wants to be associated with, but when they have a problem, they can come to me because they don't want to show weakness to their other friends.

I understand perfectly, in my case, it is not that I ignore the messages, I just do not want to stay for months to meet other friends.

 

[Tiburcio]

I had that similar "friends" in high school before they backstabbed me so badly. They used me when they were interested or needed something and they never did nothing with me. They ignored me, they insulted ne, they constantly made fun of me, etc. They always had an excuse for not staying with me but they still called themselves "my friends". Then they betrayed me and I was completely alone. It happened years ago but I still remember that and have scars. It was so serious that since that day I have social anxiety and I'm never recovered from it.

Some years later they realized their mistake, they were ashamed (or that's what they tried to make me believe) and they apologized, crawling like maggots they are and I sent a them to fuck off.

After it I changed of school but I never was important for nobody, and people judged ne for having social anxiety, they thought I was insociable and not friendly at all but they never knew I was desesperated for having a single friend.

Since I realized how humans really are, now I refuse that bad company. Honestly, none of them deserve my time. But I still feel alone because I know about my limitations when talking with others. I know if there was something worthy and not selfish, he or she wouldn't be interested in being with me because there are a lot of better options and people who is objectively better than me. But I'm so used to that... I keep so many years alone that now I don't even care.

I'm used to deal with loneliness. I know I'll be alone until the day I will die.



Edit: I also forgot to say I was extremely unloved by my family too. And when all that happened they did nothing for making me feel better. Instead of it, they shouted abd insulted me and said me "go to make friends". Friends of who exactly if everybody I knew refuses me so badly? I will never forget it.

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

I had that similar "friends" in high school before they backstabbed me so badly. They used me when they were interested or needed something and they never did nothing with me. They ignored me, they insulted ne, they constantly made fun of me, etc. They always had an excuse for not staying with me but they still called themselves "my friends". Then they betrayed me and I was completely alone. It happened years ago but I still remember that and have scars. It was so serious that since that day I have social anxiety and I'm never recovered from it.

Some years later they realized their mistake, they were ashamed (or that's what they tried to make me believe) and they apologized, crawling like maggots they are and I sent a them to fuck off.

After it I changed of school but I never was important for nobody, and people judged ne for having social anxiety, they thought I was insociable and not friendly at all but they never knew I was desesperated for having a single friend.

Since I realized how humans really are, now I refuse that bad company. Honestly, none of them deserve my time. But I still feel alone because I know about my limitations when talking with others. I know if there was something worthy and not selfish, he or she wouldn't be interested in being with me because there are a lot of better options and people who is objectively better than me. But I'm so used to that... I keep so many years alone that now I don't even care.

I'm used to deal with loneliness. I know I'll be alone until the day I will die.

If you need to vent with me, you can send me a PM, I am also Spanish.

 

[Tiburcio]

If you need to vent with me, you can send me a PM, I am also Spanish.

Thank you. I'll probably do it.

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

I hate not being a "normal" person, not being able to socialize with others normally, always being the weird, the plague, I feel I am condemned to loneliness and it is disgusting.

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

I have been on both sides for better or worse, though offline I'm very inept due to anxiety, but online I can be almost too social and make a lot of superficial connections, or hyperfocus on a person I really like and end up crashing if I put all my eggs into one basket and it doesn't work out. I have been betrayed and have betrayed sadly.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

Sometimes, I feel so bad mentioning my loneliness because it seems mostly self imposed. I have a hard time feeling connected to others and I'm sure I have some tendencies that lean towards "toxicity" that i don't want to subject people to.

I can't relate to the reasons why you feel lonely but I understand the loneliness. I'm here alone with you. ❤

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

I'm sure I have some tendencies that lean towards "toxicity" that i don't want to subject people to.

I understand that, I think it also happens to me, I am very obsessive and sometimes that can bother others a lot.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Its tricky. I was similar as a kid. I'll admit, as I grew up I used beer to lubricate the social wheels, but that is a serious mistake. The other thing I did is study other people's responses to things, then learn to imitate their behaviour. Basically, to act the way I thought was expected. Its not a perfect solution, but it can solicit more positive responses and allow yourself to get more used to social situations. But ofc, everyone is different.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

the first step to get real life friends is - unfortunately - to leave your basement

online friends cant replace real life connections

ps please not that i wont follow my own advice but this how its done. ofc there is absolutely no garantuee that you will get friends even if you go outside and force yourself to socialise but if you just stick at home the chances that you will get friends is close to zero

 

[RM5998]

Sometimes, I feel so bad mentioning my loneliness because it seems mostly self imposed. I have a hard time feeling connected to others and I'm sure I have some tendencies that lean towards "toxicity" that i don't want to subject people to.

I can't relate to the reasons why you feel lonely but I understand the loneliness. I'm here alone with you. ❤

I often get that as well - the feeling of not wanting to be alone and thinking that I have a well of poison inside me that people notice and avoid. I can't blame them - I don't want to live with myself either.

 

[Madrid27]

 

[Final Escape]

I'm 23 years old now and I find myself fucking alone, it's almost impossible for me to socialize with anyone, I've been like that since I was born, and it kills me because I know it's not going to change, on the contrary, it's going to get worse, every time I'll get older and more "weird" more isolated etc ...

The summers become horrible, locked up at home doing nothing, in front of the computer, it's a fucking shit. The few "friends" that I supposedly have are only interested in staying with me when they fail the plan "A" the "B" and the "C", I am the last option always, I really do not feel that they are real friends, and that we We've known since we were kids.

I would like to have a real friend, with whom to share things, with whom I feel good, even if it was not my girlfriend, only a friend.

What helped me was starting to work in a bar. It forced me to talk to people and work on my social skills. It is something you actually have to work at to improve. If u stop doing it for a long time u kind of get anxious about having to do it again too.