Venting Loneliness, inability to relate to others.

[Eren]

It may seem that it is not a reason for ctb, but it is really horrible, not having any IRL contacts, no friends, much less a partner. I can hardly maintain a friendship, it is as if there is a barrier between me and others.

I have asperger, some of them live comfortably being alone, not me, I wish I was like them, not feeling that need, it is what bothers me the most by far.

 

[Painless_end]

Sorry to hear. I have often wished I could live alone somewhere.

 

[marcusuk63]

Friends are highly overrated and most are fickle , people dont have real friends nowaday just faceless internet "friends" , my friends and relatives only get in touch when they want something , decorating , building , gardening or a lift somewhere etc . I was close to my older brother who didnt particularly like people and hadn't even seen my mum and dad or 2 years , my middle brother didnt even come to his funeral .
If i had the money i would buy an isolated property and live off grid (as long as take-a-ways delivered )

 

[raindrops]

I can't relate to anyone that's my problem.
When work finishes all my colleagues walk out together and I trail behind them, no one waits for me.
I'm not arrogant, I don't attention seek, I'm always listening to others and look on the bright side of life around them, I don't know what's wrong with me.
My old school friends have become different people now so can't relate to them either.
I just want my partner back, I believe we will get back together...but when. I'm so lonely dude, so so lonely atm

 

[Mercury6737]

It may seem that it is not a reason for ctb, but it is really horrible, not having any IRL contacts, no friends, much less a partner.

It's actually a valid reason. The research numbers indicate that people who are lonely are more likely to have depression, anxiety, dementia (older folks), etc. and they are more likely to die younger. Don't listen to anyone who says otherwise, especially people who have social relationships.

 

[miguel6565]

I can relate so much to your words,i am alone i used to have online friends but they dont even talk to me now

 

[It'sNotLookingGood]

Loneliness is crippling, it's a large part of why I want to ctb. Don't feel silly because it's effecting you this much, any normal person would feel the same way in your shoes.

 

[grungeCat]

I don't have asperger but I feel the same way as you. I can't stand this loneliness

 

[SipSop]

Do you guys just get mad envious of others because they have partners? I sure do.
I had gfs and sexual relationships but I feel that I am cursed becauee I am narrow shouldered. Basically not manly enough as the average man. And I am looked down upon by other women even though I have a decent face. I want to die because I do not have this need meet. It rots me from inside out as I have decent mind but at what use if I cannot have this basic damn need fulfilled like the majority of people.
I feel like a leper.
Having narrow shoulders is like having small horns for deers.
At the end of the day I came to the conclusion that money, or status, or good character won't solve this problem as a women would love more to have her ass pounded by a broad shouldered muscle guy than by another guy. Is natural.
To be aware that you cannot pick up women like others sucks big time. Is like I am caught between the worlds.
Is not even that hard, I can talk with them and charm them and stuff as I know how to speak but sexual relationships are based on looks, the rest is just hard work that doesn't always pay wich is stupid.
More of this: confidence of most people doesn't come from skills or brains or any other thing but from looks. You'll see the ease with wich they state the most stupid things as they know people will forgive them and still CONNECT with them simply because of how they look. If there is a lottery of looks, I want a refund.
As a guy once said: at the end of the day you will know what number you are as a man based on the attention you get.
It is not science mates, women want a big chunk of muscle to pound them then they settle for the rich guy, is like a unwritten rule. That is after they give the most healthy offspring to the musclehead and you get what is left.
There is no mistery, no supernatural forces. The big guys get the best meat.
Before you ge on your high white horse about this and lecture me, think about what is your uncouncious endgoal in each relationship you had: to go to frickin bed! The rest is optional. As you still roll your eyes about some stupid shit she cares about that is emotional or makes no sense in real world.

That was my rant. I hope you can relate. What do you think about this?

 

[Kassender]

It may seem that it is not a reason for ctb, but it is really horrible, not having any IRL contacts, no friends, much less a partner. I can hardly maintain a friendship, it is as if there is a barrier between me and others.

I have asperger, some of them live comfortably being alone, not me, I wish I was like them, not feeling that need, it is what bothers me the most by far.

I could have written this word for word.

I don't want to push you to act on this, but...
Humans have thrived and survived by sticking in packs. Our brain is wired to look for company.
If you can't be social, you have nothing. No love, no support, nowadays it even means no career.

It's not a bad reason to quit the game. Not to me anyway. If i can't win in anyway, i'd rather not play at all.

 

[ITryHard]

Loneliness is crippling, it's a large part of why I want to ctb. Don't feel silly because it's effecting you this much, any normal person would feel the same way in your shoes.

I concur 100%.

 

[know_better_than]

I think I understand you. like there's a disconnect and your odd compared to others. I feel the same.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

It may seem that it is not a reason for ctb, but it is really horrible, not having any IRL contacts, no friends, much less a partner. I can hardly maintain a friendship, it is as if there is a barrier between me and others.

This is not a bad reason for feeling the way you do. Humans by nature are social animals - we crave a sense of belonging to something such as a group, and part of being in a group or social unit means having connections with others; even people who are introverted/quiete/shy like having some contact from time to time. Being a human without any relationships, friends or otherwise, is like being dropped into the middle of the ocean with nothing to hold onto and no land in sight. This is the feeling of isolation.

Now some would say that it's possible to live a life totally on your own, and that you can be happy without the company of others... Maybe they are right. However this doesn't hold true for everyone, in fact some would argue the opposite. There is something in psychology called: Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs. It theorises that people have certain needs that must be meat in order to live a fulfilled life. The lower-levels include stuff which ties into basic biological necessities - food and water. The mid-level mentions the need for relationships - friendship, romance, love, etc...

Again this is all just theory not fact, but I think it does have some truth to it in my opinion. If this "heirarchy" is right then it would explain why a lot of people without contacts feel like CTB'ing. Relationships give a sense of belonging and purpose, so if you don't have any relationships then you won't feel that you belong or have a purpose. If you don't have a purpose then what reason is there to stay? By the way I am not saying that you should go ahead with it - this is just a rhetorical question.

I'm sorry if I sound like a smart a**. This post is just a long way of saying: Feeling lonely or isolated is totally understandable.

 

[Ghost2211]

Loneliness can indeed be crushing. I'm sorry to hear you're so lonely. I certainly can't change the irl aspect, but if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here.

 

[madbananas]

I relate to this so much. It's horrible. Hugs to you.

 

[Eren]

Thank you all for your answers, it is very empathetic, thank you.

This is not a bad reason for feeling the way you do. Humans by nature are social animals - we crave a sense of belonging to something such as a group, and part of being in a group or social unit means having connections with others; even people who are introverted/quiete/shy like having some contact from time to time. Being a human without any relationships, friends or otherwise, is like being dropped into the middle of the ocean with nothing to hold onto and no land in sight. This is the feeling of isolation.

Now some would say that it's possible to live a life totally on your own, and that you can be happy without the company of others... Maybe they are right. However this doesn't hold true for everyone, in fact some would argue the opposite. There is something in psychology called: Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs. It theorises that people have certain needs that must be meat in order to live a fulfilled life. The lower-levels include stuff which ties into basic biological necessities - food and water. The mid-level mentions the need for relationships - friendship, romance, love, etc...

Again this is all just theory not fact, but I think it does have some truth to it in my opinion. If this "heirarchy" is right then it would explain why a lot of people without contacts feel like CTB'ing. Relationships give a sense of belonging and purpose, so if you don't have any relationships then you won't feel that you belong or have a purpose. If you don't have a purpose then what reason is there to stay? By the way I am not saying that you should go ahead with it - this is just a rhetorical question.

I'm sorry if I sound like a smart a**. This post is just a long way of saying: Feeling lonely or isolated is totally understandable.

I do not understand the people who give me that advice that you can be happy without anyone around. There may be an exception, but at least I can't.

 

[NotHuman]

The concept of "choosing" happiness regardless of circumstances flies in the face of reality on so many levels. If the scientific evidence supporting the links between socioeconomic status/security/marital status/developmental conditions and mental health/life satisfaction weren't overwhelming enough, industrial society would collapse from all the worker bees deciding to spend all their time meditating and enjoying nature instead of spending most of their waking hours slaving away at jobs that they hate just to escape the maws of poverty, keep relationships stable, and cling to their alcohol, Netflix, and other petty distractions.

People sure are dedicated to their certainty that all happiness comes down to personal attitude and perspective even as mental health problems skyrocket in this era of self-help gurus, meditation apps, and workplace wellness programs. But when the next Big Thing™ hits this fad will ultimately end up in the same rubbish bin as bloodletting, exorcism, and wandering womb theory.

 

[Meditation guide]

I do not understand the people who give me that advice that you can be happy without anyone around. There may be an exception, but at least I can't.

Maybe you haven't had bad experiences from others. I prefer being alone rather than being hurt, stabbed in the back and disappointed. I can only think of two people I've known who didn't hurt me in some way deliberately.

 

[Eren]

Maybe you haven't had bad experiences from others. I prefer being alone rather than being hurt, stabbed in the back and disappointed. I can only think of two people I've known who didn't hurt me in some way deliberately.

I have had bad experiences, and since then I tend to be more cautious, even so I feel empty because I cannot relate to others.

 

[Hornyaboutdeath]

I don't have asperger but I feel the same way as you. I can't stand this loneliness

Just wanted to chime in and post about asperger and it's relation to porn consumption and how it's deeply correlated.
MARK MY WORDS.
In the future we'll know much more ...

Basically you can get asperger from porn but it can also go away with new habits.

 

[Eren]

Just wanted to chime in and post about asperger and it's relation to porn consumption and how it's deeply correlated.
MARK MY WORDS.
In the future we'll know much more ...

Basically you can get asperger from porn but it can also go away with new habits.

Autism is something from birth, genetic, it is not something obtained during life, it is from birth.

 

[Hornyaboutdeath]

Autism is something from birth, genetic, it is not something obtained during life, it is from birth.

Yeah I know that but you can get symptoms from autism from looking at porn and isolating yourself.

 

[sideswipe84]

Here's a topic I have struggled with my whole life, so to all of you thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Though I would like to ask this question:
if a stranger came up to you let's say in the grocery store and tried to start a conversation with you, what would you do?

Many times I've wanted to speak to others outside, but fear of rejection has more or less kept my mouth shut. Even online, I don't mind sharing, commenting...but I don't know how to engage in friendship.

 

[Meditation guide]

I have had bad experiences

I've had decades of horrible experiences with people. I can't say I'm happy to be alone. But I'm not screaming and crying at least.

 

[Eren]

Here's a topic I have struggled with my whole life, so to all of you thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Though I would like to ask this question:
if a stranger came up to you let's say in the grocery store and tried to start a conversation with you, what would you do?

Many times I've wanted to speak to others outside, but fear of rejection has more or less kept my mouth shut. Even online, I don't mind sharing, commenting...but I don't know how to engage in friendship.

I honestly don't know how reactionary I would be, although it's not very common. I don't know how to make friends either.

Yeah I know that but you can get symptoms from autism from looking at porn and isolating yourself.

Having symptoms of autism is not the same as having autism.

 

[Ghost2211]

I have had bad experiences, and since then I tend to be more cautious, even so I feel empty because I cannot relate to others.

Relating to others doesn't need to be complex or emotionally deep. What are your interests?

 

[Eren]

Relating to others doesn't need to be complex or emotionally deep. What are your interests?

It is true. Videogames and computing. It is difficult for me to maintain social relationships, even if It are superficial.

 

[Panna]

It may seem that it is not a reason for ctb, but it is really horrible, not having any IRL contacts, no friends, much less a partner. I can hardly maintain a friendship, it is as if there is a barrier between me and others.

I have asperger, some of them live comfortably being alone, not me, I wish I was like them, not feeling that need, it is what bothers me the most by far.

Completely getcha in both aspects, wonder if it means I have asbergers too, its very annoying seeing everyone around you leading such great lives while you feel like youre condemned. If no ones around its fine until you're forced to see what youre missing out on. I'd say that its that exact same reason that id ctb, the jealousy that comes from people hitting it off right off the bat and doing everything with each other while leaving you out to just witness is true hell.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I've never been able to relate to normal people and frankly I think it's a waste of time because it only leads to alienation and meaningless superficial relationships. There have been more than enough threads on here and on Reddit of people being abandoned with ease because their mental issues are too inconvenient for regular people.

Then again I'm not sure I relate to most suicidal people either in many ways.

 

[Ghost2211]

It is true. Videogames and computing. It is difficult for me to maintain social relationships, even if It are superficial.

I understand. I'm not a social person even when I want to be. I'm always the quiet one in the room, so everyone else makes friends and I never do. Gaming can make it easier to connect to an online community. Warcraft for example has vast community and guild interactions revolve around the game primary, so you don't need to worry about finding things to talk about. If you have low to moderate social need group chat during raids can help you feel like part of the group. you may not make deep connections this way, but it can be a place to talk to others about a specific common interest.

If you are or get good at online gaming people will seek you out to talk, and will lead the conversation to share gaming info. If you're female all the reclusive nerds will be more than happy to talk, and lead the conversation.