Venting Lone rant (Idk i'm too tired to write a proper title

[GeneralPanda199]

I've been wanting to have someone that i could just get this off my chest, since i kinda feel stupid doing rants on forums, but since i can't seem to talk to anyone irl without getting brain farts every 10 seconds during my conversation, and that i've not really have any proper online friends to talk to for a while, i might as well do it here.

Ever since i finished high school a couple of years ago i feel like i've been wasting my fucking time, sure i was able to do work here and there, do some training classes to get more diplomas, but i never managed to get myself committed to anything, it's like one day i'm completely fine and the next i just feel like bang my head unconscious.

After going around a couple of jobs now i can't even get anything. I try applying to any job i can find, grocery stores, fast food, literally anything that doesn't need experience to get some kind of income and feel like i'm doing something, but now i can't even get that! I apply to job after job, and from the last month alone out of like 15-20 job applications i applied to (probably more i don't remember) i only heard back from one of them for an interview, and even after that i just ended up being Ghosted, like what the fuck! I thought there were supposed to be labor shortages all over the US and the European countries, how the hell are they able to be so picky about who they hire!?

My parents also insist on me to keep going to apply for more jobs but honestly i barely have any energy to get out of bed, let alone go on my computer look for them.

I can't even manage to get any decent sleep, i'm writting this at like 4AM because i just ended up waking out of nowhere. This happens everytime i try going to sleep at a proper time like 10 11PM... It's like i'm being actively punished for even trying to form better habits.

I don't know why i even bother, i'm lonely yet i'm too fucking nervous to meet other people, i'm tired, yet i can never get a proper sleep. All i have is cuddle Dakimakura that i can't even enjoy properly because i just keep throwing myself from side to side on the bed...


Anyways tho, sorry if what i wrote sounded messy, i just wanted to get this out of my chest before trying to go to sleep again.i don't know how much longer i can live like this. Too bad i'm too much of a pussy to actually consider killing myself. I think about it a lot when i'm most down, but i don't know if i'd ever have the guts to actually form a plan to do it, maybe in the future, who knows

Sorry again if i wrote this badly, i just wanted to get it over with. I'm not used to writing rant monologues on forums so might as well try ig

 

[Regen]

I read your text. I also know feeling lonely and struggling to sleep. Unfortunately, this is a bad cycle, because bad sleep puts you in a very bad mood.

I am increasingly noticing that when it comes to depression and sleep disorders, it is never checked whether there is simply a simple deficiency. I recently read about a doctor who treated a young patient after a suicide attempt. The patient had been in the psychiatric ward for a long time and was given lots of antidepressants. The outpatient doctor then checked her blood and found that the young woman had significant deficiencies. This was never checked during the entire period of inpatient therapy. That means that this woman almost died because no one had the idea to simply check her blood values. The young woman then received vitamin D, iron, magnesium and something else and she suddenly felt fantastic again. This is certainly an extreme example and, of course, things go so well for few people. But the fact is that vitamins, minerals and the thyroid (and also the birth control pill) have a major influence.

I hope I haven't bothered you too much with this topic! It's not my intention to force anything on you and of course I don't know if that's even right for you! But I think it's important to check it routinely and the doctors never say that.