Help Living with DID

[gargamuel]

Hi, as the title says I have DID (dissociative Identity Disorder) and its diagnosed by a professional psychiatrist this isnt some tiktok attention seeking bullshit.

I hate it, i dont get to live my life, i cant control our actions, self harm is bad enough when I do it but waking up in front with blood running down my leg and arms is so much worse.

I want to die, I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE, but if I kill myself I kill the others in our system.

What the fuck am I meant to do??!!
Please Help

 

[Forveleth]

I do not have DID but I have followed a bunch of systems on YouTube. I have seen many of them struggle with juggling life and switches and the trauma that lead to the condition in the first place. I have seen them all deal with combative alters and systemwide disagreements on how life should progress. On the other hand, I have seen them get jobs, hold relationships, even graduate from college.

I do not know what you are going through but you are far from alone in your struggles and know that there are many systems out there living good lives despite the bad hand they have been dealt.

 

[Rynalia]

Ouch. I felt this thread.

The utter lack of control in life is brutal and everything potentially being a mixed bag of fun is maddening. (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

Have you been in touch with any other specialists? Big ask, I know, since most folks still don't believe in the disorder. But even working with at the very least trauma specialists could potentially help even a tiny bit.

The dissociative barriers seem to be your biggest pain point at the moment (correct me if I'm wrong) judging from the initial post. So working on lowering those could let you see some improvement in at least basic quality of life. How to go about that though is a different question.

How is your communication? Is there any communication? Or are you really left in the dark at the moment?

 

[gargamuel]

Ouch. I felt this thread.

The utter lack of control in life is brutal and everything potentially being a mixed bag of fun is maddening. (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

Have you been in touch with any other specialists? Big ask, I know, since most folks still don't believe in the disorder. But even working with at the very least trauma specialists could potentially help even a tiny bit.

The dissociative barriers seem to be your biggest pain point at the moment (correct me if I'm wrong) judging from the initial post. So working on lowering those could let you see some improvement in at least basic quality of life. How to go about that though is a different question.

How is your communication? Is there any communication? Or are you really left in the dark at the moment?

We've actually got really good communication, and yes I am in touch with a dissociative specialist.
Its just everything that hurts really, the barriers suck but its just the fact that I cant control my own life.
We have pretty good communication but it doesn't help when I can talk to the persecutor heh
He certainly makes things difficult

 

[Rynalia]

We've actually got really good communication, and yes I am in touch with a dissociative specialist.
Its just everything that hurts really, the barriers suck but its just the fact that I cant control my own life.
We have pretty good communication but it doesn't help when I can talk to the persecutor heh
He certainly makes things difficult

Ah, yeah. I feel that. (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)

The curse of the disorder at its finest.

I hope y'all figure something out.