catotoctb
Member
- Aug 27, 2023
- 43
Hello everyone. As you can see, i'm new here and don't know how things are in this place but i just want to tell my story now.
Before i begin, i have to tell that i'm not english but i studied english my entire life so i will try hard to communicate my feelings the best possible way so you can understand deep thoughts of me. Thank you for considerate that.
I've never been a depressed person, in fact, i still don't know if i'm depressed. I hope not. My life was amazing until last year, i've never have troubles besides common troubles of a teenage person.
Everything change when i started university. I remember the first day of it as a nightmare that keeps on this day. I could see that i'm not like others, i couldn't pass any course that year and that made me feel miserable. Seeing others doing just fine and enjoying the university life that i don't have hits me so hard that i started to sleep more (+10 hours a day) and not visiting my family and friends at all.
i'm aware that there are many people like me who have academic problems, but I never thought that I would have them and even less that I would be surrounded by people who do not. It's feels so horrible, i really can't describe in words how i'm feeling every single day of my life but i know that you will understand, even if you have others problems.
Fortunately, when i started college i found the most beautiful company that i can now called that person my love. They really help me emotionally, not enough, but i cannot ask for more. They try to help me everyday by helping me at college tasks, cooking for me when i can't wake up from the bed and calling me when we're far from each other. They are the light of my life, but i'm always feeling that i'm ruining the relationship because they is happy, is good at college and do other activities that i cannot do because of my bad reputation in college and procrastination. They know my situation for like year now, but i can't tell them all because i know they will feel upset and don't deserve that kind of pain when it's a beautiful person.
Maybe my problems are poor, but the university has left me with many other personal problems apart from not having good grades, but I still want to keep trying, even if I've been saying it for a year and nothing improves.
I don't want to make it longer, so that's a part of my story.
I also want to say that i've been reading threads on this forum for a month and now i make an account for me to tell my side. I'm so sorry for all of you and the others that are not longer alive for having horrible thoughts because life threat you badly. You are such kind people and i can tell that just by reading your threads. I really hope you can find the peace you wish for someday.
Btw, what is SN? It's an antibiotic? I'm not english so when i tried to search for it on the internet it doesn't appear anything.
Thank you for reading, i apreciate it a lot.
-Cato.
Before i begin, i have to tell that i'm not english but i studied english my entire life so i will try hard to communicate my feelings the best possible way so you can understand deep thoughts of me. Thank you for considerate that.
I've never been a depressed person, in fact, i still don't know if i'm depressed. I hope not. My life was amazing until last year, i've never have troubles besides common troubles of a teenage person.
Everything change when i started university. I remember the first day of it as a nightmare that keeps on this day. I could see that i'm not like others, i couldn't pass any course that year and that made me feel miserable. Seeing others doing just fine and enjoying the university life that i don't have hits me so hard that i started to sleep more (+10 hours a day) and not visiting my family and friends at all.
i'm aware that there are many people like me who have academic problems, but I never thought that I would have them and even less that I would be surrounded by people who do not. It's feels so horrible, i really can't describe in words how i'm feeling every single day of my life but i know that you will understand, even if you have others problems.
Fortunately, when i started college i found the most beautiful company that i can now called that person my love. They really help me emotionally, not enough, but i cannot ask for more. They try to help me everyday by helping me at college tasks, cooking for me when i can't wake up from the bed and calling me when we're far from each other. They are the light of my life, but i'm always feeling that i'm ruining the relationship because they is happy, is good at college and do other activities that i cannot do because of my bad reputation in college and procrastination. They know my situation for like year now, but i can't tell them all because i know they will feel upset and don't deserve that kind of pain when it's a beautiful person.
Maybe my problems are poor, but the university has left me with many other personal problems apart from not having good grades, but I still want to keep trying, even if I've been saying it for a year and nothing improves.
I don't want to make it longer, so that's a part of my story.
I also want to say that i've been reading threads on this forum for a month and now i make an account for me to tell my side. I'm so sorry for all of you and the others that are not longer alive for having horrible thoughts because life threat you badly. You are such kind people and i can tell that just by reading your threads. I really hope you can find the peace you wish for someday.
Btw, what is SN? It's an antibiotic? I'm not english so when i tried to search for it on the internet it doesn't appear anything.
Thank you for reading, i apreciate it a lot.
-Cato.
