Venting living at home makes me suicidal

[luvpup]

i hate my fucking family more than anything and have no one to turn to and even if i did i wanna kill myself anyways so what good would i be? its summer so im living here i even left a day with some stuff and just slept somewhere random outside overnight but i am too weak to be out on my own long and cant drive.

my family is just a bunch of lying hypocrites.

a but of hypocrisy is whatever but when you are doing all that bullshit and on top of it making yourself a public annoyance and nuisance? yeah, no. if you're gonna demean me but then turn around and do some annoying worse bullshit then fuck you. and they expect me to have everything figured out oh my god no matter what i do it is not enough for these fuckers? im always suicidal and apathetic towards life but at least not living here makes it easier but here i am. even though i paid rent its not enough, its a small place with too many fucking people. i need to leave asap oh my god

 

[tryme]

that was one of the reasons why my depression worsened so bad my life spiraled into unrecoverable state
so you are right about getting out of there if possible

 

[luvpup]

that was one of the reasons why my depression worsened so bad my life spiraled into unrecoverable state
so you are right about getting out of there if possible

i want to so bad i just have no one i can trust. im 18 and a girl as well and have already been in a lot of fucked up situations but sometimes i wonder if living w some random guy would be better atp… i cant be here much longer or im gonna lose it

 

[furribcage]

Though I think my situation is a bit better I totally felt the same when living at home. My mother has a wonderful heart but is constantly prone to outbursts, hatred and being a bully. Put me down so fucking bad. Though unlike in your situation I am sure I often prompted it by being annoying lol

If you can go to college or university or something I would recommend that heavily as it will be a safe release with people your age. My close friend lived with a random guy and it was very abusive so if you're going to move in with a guy I would try and get to know them first just not to risk it worsening.

 

[LostWay]

Being apathetic is so suffocating. I wish I could yell at the top of my lungs how much everyone in my family stresses me out and makes me depressed to the point of considering suicide.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Hopefully some parents see posts like this and get an understanding of what they're doing to their kids. I'm a parent of adult kids and I take all of these comments to heart, always worried I could be one of "those" parents and not even know it. This forum is so important and helpful in so many ways. I'm really sorry you have it so hard, they really need to just let you be and give you some space. Sounds extremely stressful.
Edited to add: I just realized it could sound like I hoped parents were lurking here to spy on their kids, that is NOT what I meant, sorry, that thought makes me sick. I meant other parents that are here for the same reason I am.

 

[charlie_cat_51925]

My family is like this too. When I finally moved out being away from all of that helped. She still wants me to come back and live there and help but I am not in a place to help her at all. It's really bad.

 

[AnEpilogue]

I get it, I feel so stuck in my home with these people. I wish it were as easy as moving out, but I can't seem to get any solid work. I wish I could just tell them to shut up, but its hard when your situation is so precarious, like if you say the wrong thing, you might be on the streets anyways.

 

[luvpup]

Hopefully some parents see posts like this and get an understanding of what they're doing to their kids. I'm a parent of adult kids and I take all of these comments to heart, always worried I could be one of "those" parents and not even know it. This forum is so important and helpful in so many ways. I'm really sorry you have it so hard, they really need to just let you be and give you some space. Sounds extremely stressful.
Edited to add: I just realized it could sound like I hoped parents were lurking here to spy on their kids, that is NOT what I meant, sorry, that thought makes me sick. I meant other parents that are here for the same reason I am.

im currently literally being manipulated by my own ex therapist and mom and all, because my ex therapist (was my therapist for 2 years) is dating my mom and yet.. i cant get into it much ots too much to explain but just take my word for it if u can that they are actually manipulating tf outta me and theyre making me the "bad guy" because i asked a question about ethics a couple months ago and wanted an apology from my therapist bc he ghosted me for two months and then later recently as in a few days ago called me and even said something about how i dont have other good male figures in my life so i need to let go of my grudge… which yeah hurt me a lot bc he knows my past w pedos and my father so. and my mom thinks im trying to tear them apart. i got in college early right after being discharged from the hospital for my last attempt.. its just summer rn and its too much. anything she gets me she holds over my head as a favor and gift but later says i own nothing its all hers. ahhhh its okay though

I get it, I feel so stuck in my home with these people. I wish it were as easy as moving out, but I can't seem to get any solid work. I wish I could just tell them to shut up, but its hard when your situation is so precarious, like if you say the wrong thing, you might be on the streets anyways.

i totally get it, you have no choice but to shut up and its painful

My family is like this too. When I finally moved out being away from all of that helped. She still wants me to come back and live there and help but I am not in a place to help her at all. It's really bad.

i need to get a job i just need to lock in and i even got a job offer at mcdonalds but im just so tired and empty and i cant drive so i feel so reliant and limited. nothing ive achieved is good enough for my mom

 

[tryme]

I know it's hard and I don't know the details but try to distance yourself physically and mentally from your abusive parents. Don't let them affect you any more than they have to. Focus on yourself and don't worry about anything they say. You only need to think about your own improvement, but don't get lost in endless thinking and not doing anything. Try doing things even if you fail it's okay. It sucks but you will simply have to view them as the unlucky lot you got in life. I had a chance to get away and wasted it, I could've saved myself but I let myself be destroyed by them. Since you can't rely on parents and social needs are normal you will want to be closer to other people even more and you should try it, maybe you will manage to get some kind of safety net. Your goal is to get through this and cut contact with them once u win. Life is all a game about winning and losing. Look to see if there are other adults in your life you can look for help to, and get as many connections as possible. Also try things like basic exercise and find healthy ways to release stress, don't get addicted to drugs especially since you can't afford it. Try to put as little stress on yourself as possible meaning don't think u have to do ten things at once. If u have time and u will survive physically u can survive and minimize mental damage. Try to find your own tempo and think positively about your successes and challenges. And don't run from opportunities out of fear like I did. Idk what compelled me to write this out but my life became utter hell that I don't need to write about but family and home can be a starting point for a downfall. I don't want u to end up like me for stupid reasons.

 

[bankai]

Yup
If I was still living at home, I'd have been dead, not suicidal.

 

[luvpup]

Yup
If I was still living at home, I'd have been dead, not suicidal.

lol i got kicked out because i left home at 2pm bc of yelling and crying and came back at 8pm while it was light outside and my mom told me i cant sleep there or shell call cops lol no i wasnt doing drugs or drinking i went to walk around town and eat lunch

lol i got kicked out because i left home at 2pm bc of yelling and crying and came back at 8pm while it was light outside and my mom told me i cant sleep there or shell call cops lol no i wasnt doing drugs or drinking i went to walk around town and eat lunch

she was mad i didnt have my location on but if ur worried abt safety how is putting me on the street helpful… nah shes just trying to hurt me lol

 

[bankai]

lol i got kicked out because i left home at 2pm bc of yelling and crying and came back at 8pm while it was light outside and my mom told me i cant sleep there or shell call cops lol no i wasnt doing drugs or drinking i went to walk around town and eat lunch

That's just abusive,nothing else.

It's sad when parents do that.

 

[luvpup]

That's just abusive,nothing else.

It's sad when parents do that.

i think shes mad because of her and my therapist breaking up and is blaming me… idc anymore. yesterday she said hey dont kys and i was like i wont and she does this? she doesnt care abt my life. just about getting a return on her investment

 

[Luna say maybe]

she was mad i didnt have my location on

She's overprotective as ur already an adult