• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
MANGIONESHUSBAND

MANGIONESHUSBAND

Member
Jan 28, 2025
36
For years every year once January rolls around I decide to put off my suicide attempt until April 20th because it wthe anniversary of Columbine. W Which I've been obsessed with since I was a young boy. And I always felt a connection to it. I think 2026 might be the year I finally get the courage to kill myself. But I want to do it in Littleton Colorado. Usually Spring Break is around the time of 4/20. But if it's not then I'm willing to wait a little longer or a little before. But my aunt has a car(she works as a teacher in NYS). I want to see if she's willing to drive me all the way to Littleton Colorado. It would be and feel great and honestly it would be a lifesaver. If not I'll have to take a fucking Greyhound. My plan is to die within a ten mile radius of the Columbine Memorial. I was wondering if anyone else lived in that area if they could I dunno maybe meet me there or whatever. Or maybe I'm dumb(I don't know if this is an ok thing to ask). But you know it's the truth.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: liquid jen, ............ and darksouls
badatparties

badatparties

Elementalist
Mar 16, 2025
814
I guess i see why a depressed person would be drawn to a tragedy like that. What is it about it that draws you in? Do you identify with the shooters in some way because they had depression, anxiety, etc?

Honestly, i wouldn't do it. That area has enough tragedy and sorrow hanging over it without you adding to it. Your suicide there could effect others.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: itsgone2, ............, darksouls and 1 other person
MANGIONESHUSBAND

MANGIONESHUSBAND

Member
Jan 28, 2025
36
I mean I know this sounds kind of selfish but I do want my suicide to have an impact. Because well I want to feel important America runs on violence and America understands violence. And I want to die there to be close to my boys. The place I always come back to in my mind.
I guess i see why a depressed person would be drawn to a tragedy like that. What is it about it that draws you in? Do you identify with the shooters in some way because they had depression, anxiety, etc?

Honestly, i wouldn't do it. That area has enough tragedy and sorrow hanging over it without you adding to it. Your suicide there could effect others.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: ............ and darksouls
badatparties

badatparties

Elementalist
Mar 16, 2025
814
I mean I know this sounds kind of selfish but I do want my suicide to have an impact. Because well I want to feel important America runs on violence and America understands violence. And I want to die there to be close to my boys. The place I always come back to in my mind.
There's no evidence that you will be "close to your boys". I know the perpetrators suffered in life, but they ultimately did an idiotic shameful cowardly act, and will go down in history as pathetic weirdo losers. .

If you want to die, be a man, and do it away from Littleton. Don't bring trauma to a place that's been through enough.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: vanillamilkshakes, itsgone2, Hollowman and 5 others
MANGIONESHUSBAND

MANGIONESHUSBAND

Member
Jan 28, 2025
36
I mean I know this sounds kind of selfish but I do want my suicide to have an impact. Because well I want to feel important America runs on violence and America understands violence. And I want to die there to be close to my boys. The place I always come back to in my mind.
There's no evidence that you will be "close to your boys". I know the perpetrators suffered in life, but they ultimately did an idiotic shameful cowardly act, and will go down in history as pathetic weirdo losers. .

If you want to die, be a man, and do it away from Littleton. Don't bring trauma to a place that's been through enough.
Its hard to let go of my ideal death vacation for years. But then again could always do it in the woods away from everyone and lessen my chances of getting found. It's a complicated decision to make for me.
There's no evidence that you will be "close to your boys". I know the perpetrators suffered in life, but they ultimately did an idiotic shameful cowardly act, and will go down in history as pathetic weirdo losers. .

If you want to die, be a man, and do it away from Littleton. Don't bring trauma to a place that's been through enough.
You're right I think I might visit Little for some closure and then die at Niagra Falls or somewhere else within New York State
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: badatparties and ............
R

reb

Nikita
Apr 24, 2025
167
😭✌🏻You don't know reb and vodka like i do
 
  • Love
Reactions: liquid jen
liquid jen

liquid jen

Blind painting, my body's a disease
Sep 9, 2025
103
I've never considered going there cause I dont want people to think I was planning something at all, (like what happened with sol pais,) but I have been planning the same date to ctb too. I also feel a strong connection to them, and have been obsessed with them for the past year or so.
 
MANGIONESHUSBAND

MANGIONESHUSBAND

Member
Jan 28, 2025
36
As long as yuou don't leave some easily accessible journal about it or buy guns in the areas it shouldn't be a problem
I've never considered going there cause I dont want people to think I was planning something at all, (like what happened with sol pais,) but I have been planning the same date to ctb too. I also feel a strong connection to them, and have been obsessed with them for the past year or so.
 

Similar threads

lilli_188
Replies
1
Views
204
Suicide Discussion
bruised_reed
bruised_reed
Sammystink
Replies
3
Views
396
Suicide Discussion
EmptyBottle
EmptyBottle
I
Replies
1
Views
226
Suicide Discussion
imkniesty
I