Likely asking too much but, quick easy deaths for one who can't afford SN (or anything really)?

[N33dT0D13]

No active plans but would love to have something in my back pocket when things start feeling unbearable again. Poor as hell, no income atm and my sources of making money are all abysmal (there's a book store that pays pennies for whatever you give them and a record store that I tried to sell to yesterday, but they refused as they were close to closing and they don't open again until Thursday ). Payments keep adding up and I will absolutely end up homeless at this rate if nothing changes in a major way.

The "methods" I keep fixating on are somehow getting someone to murder me, and pulling a Virginia Woolf, just stuffing tons of rocks in my pockets and letting the water reclaim me. Dumb as it may be, I'm a water sign so the latter feels, fitting, lol. I guess I could jump off of a tall building, my own apartment could do the trick but I'm surprisingly pain averse and cowardly for someone who wants to die and that seems ScArY. And sure, why want to be murdered if you're a pain averse coward... Because I wouldn't have to do the hard work (lazy) and it would satisfy my inner emotional masochist by confirming that yes, I am reprehensible enough to deserve to be murdered, and that thought is oddly comforting in the sickest ways.

...Weird little rant that turned into but yeah, any good, not-too-painful methods for excruciatingly poor folk?

 

[81-Z@P@D]

Drowning can cause brain damage, and you should not get someone to murder you because that person could have heinous intentions to commit criminal acts etc. If it is possible, it might be prudent to first take a day and assess if your financial problems can be managed or if you can apply for programs that help.

 

[Aesthetic guy]

sry to hear that
for me hanging is the best way... if you do it properly you go unconscious in seconds and there is no way back... just make sure no-one will find you for at least 30 min.
all you need is a rope as thick as your finger.

 

[N33dT0D13]

Drowning can cause brain damage, and you should not get someone to murder you because that person could have heinous intentions to commit criminal acts etc. If it is possible, it might be prudent to first take a day and assess if your financial problems can be managed or if you can apply for programs that help.

That's the funny thing about the whole murder fantasy, is I really really REALLY just want someone to hurt me, but I hate people that I perceive as "bad" (murderers obviously included) and don't want to give them the satisfaction of carrying out their sick plans, lol. I guess my ideal is a kind soul who wants to end my pain and sees killing me as an act of compassion, or else just an impulsive encounter leading to my swift demise, either or.

Brain damage... My first thought was to reply "lol I'm already brain damaged" but seriously, that does sound like it would suck... Is it possible at all that it would damage me to the point of just, idk, no longer having the cognitive ability to hate myself and want to die? ...I feel awful for asking, as if I'm glorifying or fetishizing brain damage.

My card's already shut down and either being sent to or has already been sent to collections. Tried speaking with a debt lawyer but my phone is utter trash and his calls didn't come through, might try again.

sry to hear that
for me hanging is the best way... if you do it properly you go unconscious in seconds and there is no way back... just make sure no-one will find you for at least 30 min.
all you need is a rope as thick as your finger.

Huh, okay. Sounds fine, my only concerns are where to find rope (probably not too hard if I look around, I guess) and the "if you do it properly" part, I'm great at screwing up seemingly easy things.

Thank you both for your answers.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish that there were easy suicide methods, at least to me if suicide actually was easy, and there were quick, painless, easily accessible methods that were easy to go through with, I would be long gone by this point. For the more easily accessible methods I've always thought about hanging and drowning but they both sound risky, difficult to go through with and just awful. There are no easy answers to this question unfortunately as after all we do exist in a society that is so anti suicide.

 

[81-Z@P@D]

That's the funny thing about the whole murder fantasy, is I really really REALLY just want someone to hurt me, but I hate people that I perceive as "bad" (murderers obviously included) and don't want to give them the satisfaction of carrying out their sick plans, lol. I guess my ideal is a kind soul who wants to end my pain and sees killing me as an act of compassion, or else just an impulsive encounter leading to my swift demise, either or.

Brain damage... My first thought was to reply "lol I'm already brain damaged" but seriously, that does sound like it would suck... Is it possible at all that it would damage me to the point of just, idk, no longer having the cognitive ability to hate myself and want to die? ...I feel awful for asking, as if I'm glorifying or fetishizing brain damage.

My card's already shut down and either being sent to or has already been sent to collections. Tried speaking with a debt lawyer but my phone is utter trash and his calls didn't come through, might try again.



Huh, okay. Sounds fine, my only concerns are where to find rope (probably not too hard if I look around, I guess) and the "if you do it properly" part, I'm great at screwing up seemingly easy things.

Thank you both for your answers.

There have been reports iirc about women meeting men who claim to want to assist in their suicide, to then r*pe them. From what I can gather drowning may cause damage that would cronic and unbearable, so I would highly advise against it.

 

[aniara]

That's the funny thing about the whole murder fantasy, is I really really REALLY just want someone to hurt me, but I hate people that I perceive as "bad" (murderers obviously included) and don't want to give them the satisfaction of carrying out their sick plans, lol. I guess my ideal is a kind soul who wants to end my pain and sees killing me as an act of compassion, or else just an impulsive encounter leading to my swift demise, either or.

Brain damage... My first thought was to reply "lol I'm already brain damaged" but seriously, that does sound like it would suck... Is it possible at all that it would damage me to the point of just, idk, no longer having the cognitive ability to hate myself and want to die? ...I feel awful for asking, as if I'm glorifying or fetishizing brain damage.

My card's already shut down and either being sent to or has already been sent to collections. Tried speaking with a debt lawyer but my phone is utter trash and his calls didn't come through, might try again.



Huh, okay. Sounds fine, my only concerns are where to find rope (probably not too hard if I look around, I guess) and the "if you do it properly" part, I'm great at screwing up seemingly easy things.

Thank you both for your answers.

Re: the question about brain damage

Anything you could do now, such as drowning or hanging, are things that would be cutting off your oxygen for whatever period of time. If you survive, you've survived your brain being deprived of normal levels of oxygen, possibly for minutes or even hours. This is called cerebral hypoxia. The range of outcomes of a brain injury is extremely vast, there are people who recover and there are people who don't. No one could say for sure what would happen to you specifically, but if you search "cerebral hypoxia recovery" or something similar on the Internet, you can see cases. You're risking permanently mentally and or/physically disabling yourself in a range of ways that will be hard to calculate.

Depending on what kind of debt you have you can try to get into credit repair programs that will help you set up a debt repayment schedule. Good luck.

 

[paranormalpup]

That's the funny thing about the whole murder fantasy, is I really really REALLY just want someone to hurt me, but I hate people that I perceive as "bad" (murderers obviously included) and don't want to give them the satisfaction of carrying out their sick plans, lol. I guess my ideal is a kind soul who wants to end my pain and sees killing me as an act of compassion, or else just an impulsive encounter leading to my swift demise, either or.

Brain damage... My first thought was to reply "lol I'm already brain damaged" but seriously, that does sound like it would suck... Is it possible at all that it would damage me to the point of just, idk, no longer having the cognitive ability to hate myself and want to die? ...I feel awful for asking, as if I'm glorifying or fetishizing brain damage.

My card's already shut down and either being sent to or has already been sent to collections. Tried speaking with a debt lawyer but my phone is utter trash and his calls didn't come through, might try again.



Huh, okay. Sounds fine, my only concerns are where to find rope (probably not too hard if I look around, I guess) and the "if you do it properly" part, I'm great at screwing up seemingly easy things.

Thank you both for your answers.

sometimes I wish somebody would take my life away too. It seems much easier than trying to do it myself, I don't want to die to natural causes. It sounds like shit.