So basically I'm a trans woman who is very visibly so, and I just violated probation with my suspended sentence being a year. I'm not doing anything more than a month as a trans girl I know what's gonna happen. So, I'm down to plan b (feel like I've been here so many times but.... This times a little more urgent and desperate). I promise I've explored my options, for once in my life I actually want to live and am devastated that my life has landed here.
None of that matters tho. I have 25 mgs of Klonopin and about 3 points of heroin altho I'm gonna try and make sure I have at least a half gram. I use about a half point per dose when using recreationally so it's probably at least 6 times my average dose. I'm also going to be drinking and taking a couple Benadryl. Heroin will be injected intramuscularly (all of it) about 20-30 mins after taking the benzos. Would wait til peak to do it but there's the risk of fear making it take longer so rather wait the minimum and factor in that it'll take 30 mins to reach peak for intramuscular heroin. Or just that the benzos make me fall asleep which would also be no bueno. This is definitely like.... Completely foolproof right ? I will be in the woods far away, there will be directions on where to find me for my parents sake (with directions to call police and have them search or smth) so they aren't left without a body or wondering but it's guaranteed essentially that it won't be spotted til long after I would have passed. Will be somewhere where even if I chickened out and called 911 no one could get to me in time, night time in a spot no one could pass, and obv won't be bringing any narcan that I'd be able to use before it hit enough to make me pass out. This is definitely a guarantee unless I'm a freak of nature ? Right ? (I'm not a freak of nature I've accidently overdosed twice)
None of that matters tho. I have 25 mgs of Klonopin and about 3 points of heroin altho I'm gonna try and make sure I have at least a half gram. I use about a half point per dose when using recreationally so it's probably at least 6 times my average dose. I'm also going to be drinking and taking a couple Benadryl. Heroin will be injected intramuscularly (all of it) about 20-30 mins after taking the benzos. Would wait til peak to do it but there's the risk of fear making it take longer so rather wait the minimum and factor in that it'll take 30 mins to reach peak for intramuscular heroin. Or just that the benzos make me fall asleep which would also be no bueno. This is definitely like.... Completely foolproof right ? I will be in the woods far away, there will be directions on where to find me for my parents sake (with directions to call police and have them search or smth) so they aren't left without a body or wondering but it's guaranteed essentially that it won't be spotted til long after I would have passed. Will be somewhere where even if I chickened out and called 911 no one could get to me in time, night time in a spot no one could pass, and obv won't be bringing any narcan that I'd be able to use before it hit enough to make me pass out. This is definitely a guarantee unless I'm a freak of nature ? Right ? (I'm not a freak of nature I've accidently overdosed twice)
