Puddings
Member
- Feb 9, 2019
- 36
When ever I see movies or short films, it's always just a person grabbing a handful of pills and swollowing them down, subsequently drifting into a peaceful sleep and ultimately death. Now I know, real life is not movies.
I am fairly certain that I want to die. My brain feels electrocuted for the majority of the day and I can not stand this infinite sadness and loneliness anymore. There is nothing I relate to anymore and I feel like I belong in another universe that I need to escape to. This has been for over 10 years and I am done.
But I feel cowardly and don't know what method to choose and if I could go through with any of it.
Where I live, pills and medication is not such a big deal. I see people on here being fairly educated about the pharmaceutical industry and all the fancy names for tablets and what they do etc. To me I just know them as sleeping tablets, anti anxiety meds etc. I suppose I can really go into research but my brain is so fried I can't really always comprehend what I read. It all seems very complex and overwhelming. What type of tablets to take in conjunction with others and correct dosages etc etc just to be able to ctb successfully. I honestly struggle with research and consentration so much. It wasn't always like that. Just recently, after what I would probably secretly lable some sort of mental break, I feel like unless something is spelled out clearly in layman terms, my brain doesn't have the ability to properly understand what I am reading. Very frustrating and making research very difficult for me.
So my simple question is: If I was to just save up a month or two of my meds (antidepressants - ssri) anti anxiety and sleeping meds, and chug 2 months worth of each down my throat in a hotel room or some place where no one will find me.... Surely that would be enough to seal the deal?
Any straight forward advice would be so appreciated.
I am fairly certain that I want to die. My brain feels electrocuted for the majority of the day and I can not stand this infinite sadness and loneliness anymore. There is nothing I relate to anymore and I feel like I belong in another universe that I need to escape to. This has been for over 10 years and I am done.
But I feel cowardly and don't know what method to choose and if I could go through with any of it.
Where I live, pills and medication is not such a big deal. I see people on here being fairly educated about the pharmaceutical industry and all the fancy names for tablets and what they do etc. To me I just know them as sleeping tablets, anti anxiety meds etc. I suppose I can really go into research but my brain is so fried I can't really always comprehend what I read. It all seems very complex and overwhelming. What type of tablets to take in conjunction with others and correct dosages etc etc just to be able to ctb successfully. I honestly struggle with research and consentration so much. It wasn't always like that. Just recently, after what I would probably secretly lable some sort of mental break, I feel like unless something is spelled out clearly in layman terms, my brain doesn't have the ability to properly understand what I am reading. Very frustrating and making research very difficult for me.
So my simple question is: If I was to just save up a month or two of my meds (antidepressants - ssri) anti anxiety and sleeping meds, and chug 2 months worth of each down my throat in a hotel room or some place where no one will find me.... Surely that would be enough to seal the deal?
Any straight forward advice would be so appreciated.
