Lifestyle change

[Shewaitsforme]

I guess recovery is the closest tag choosing to live positively with suicidal thoughts so yeah i guess its partly recovery.

Since i made the decision to live with my suicidal thoughts, not be ashamed of them, speaking openly about how destructive they once were and not fixating on the well i have to kill myself to stop everything and not waiting for things to go to shit (they may not who knows) again ive been looking at ways to enhance my life.

So im going to buy a campervan. As i work long hours im only actually in 3 days a week so when im off ill travel the uk. Living in the northwest there are so many beautiful places to visit close by. Im planning to live full time in the van, keep a low cost gym membership with multiple access and at work the ambulance bases have shower, kitchens etc.

So it begins, finding the right campervan and not paying out the arse rent wise anymore :)

 

[JustAboutDone]

This sounds like a great idea :-) The north of England is beautiful and to be able to explore all round there will be lovely. Especially now that it's nearly Spring. Rent prices are ridiculous in this country so you will benefit there too. Any idea which bit you'll go to first? I remember being amazed the first time I went to Carlisle and got out of the car as there was a lovely biscuity smell!

 

[TheCrow]

I hope that brings you happiness. A change of scenery can be a wonderful thing. Maybe you'll embark on new adventures and start to feel ok again. She'll still be waiting for you. xo

 

[Shewaitsforme]

This sounds like a great idea :-) The north of England is beautiful and to be able to explore all round there will be lovely. Especially now that it's nearly Spring. Rent prices are ridiculous in this country so you will benefit there too. Any idea which bit you'll go to first? I remember being amazed the first time I went to Carlisle and got out of the car as there was a lovely biscuity smell!

Probably start around cumbria, north wales, lake district. Basically areas i can do some walking. Eventually build up distance travelled. Most my days off are in a block so very easy and the annual leave ill still have i can drive over to europe, already looked at travelling to stiges, barcelona via ferry(brexit permitting)

 

[Shewaitsforme]

I hope that brings you happiness. A change of scenery can be a wonderful thing. Maybe you'll embark on new adventures and start to feel ok again. She'll still be waiting for you. xo

Thankyou, that made me smile. Im just not ready to go, im the only family my mum has also. I just know in order to give this life thing a chance i need to feel as free as possible, i love my job but also need balance. Im on day 2 of my 3 days off this week and all ive done is lie on the sofa, not been outside, eaten very little, watched tv all day. At work im ok, at home not so good

 

[TheCrow]

Thankyou, that made me smile. Im just not ready to go, im the only family my mum has also. I just know in order to give this life thing a chance i need to feel as free as possible, i love my job but also need balance. Im on day 2 of my 3 days off this week and all ive done is lie on the sofa, not been outside, eaten very little, watched tv all day. At work im ok, at home not so good

Then a change would definitely be good for you. Buy the camper van, travel. Get up, get out, breathe fresh air. Go for long walks and see new things, have short conversations with people you don't know. Think of all the stories you could have to tell her once you're on the other side.

 

[Kdawg2018]

what kind of camper van are you looking for? I used to live in a van and shower at the gym

 

[Red star]

I hope this works out for you <3 and sounds exciting

 

[21Neberg]

So courageous of you to try this, I know I couldnt!! Good luck, I truly do hope that everything works out for you. Sounds like a great idea, touring the North!

 

[JustAboutDone]

I can't help thinking what a good thing this is you are planning. Just being out walking is so good, especially in the Lakes and Northumberland where you have so much space.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

what kind of camper van are you looking for? I used to live in a van and shower at the gym

Maybe a merc sprinter or citroen relay those are the ones that seem to catch my eye so far

 

[Kdawg2018]

mine was a GMC Savanna, its like a step below merc sprinter

 

[JustAboutDone]

If you get to walk Hadrian's Wall you have to tell me! I've always wanted to do that but never got far along as I'm too unfit and had to keep stopping for sweets and drinks

 

[JustAboutDone]

@Shewaitsforme
I've been thinking about you and wondering how things are going with you?

 

[Final Escape]

I guess recovery is the closest tag choosing to live positively with suicidal thoughts so yeah i guess its partly recovery.

Since i made the decision to live with my suicidal thoughts, not be ashamed of them, speaking openly about how destructive they once were and not fixating on the well i have to kill myself to stop everything and not waiting for things to go to shit (they may not who knows) again ive been looking at ways to enhance my life.

So im going to buy a campervan. As i work long hours im only actually in 3 days a week so when im off ill travel the uk. Living in the northwest there are so many beautiful places to visit close by. Im planning to live full time in the van, keep a low cost gym membership with multiple access and at work the ambulance bases have shower, kitchens etc.

So it begins, finding the right campervan and not paying out the arse rent wise anymore :)

I wanna do that.

 

[Mark Edward]

I guess recovery is the closest tag choosing to live positively with suicidal thoughts so yeah i guess its partly recovery.

Since i made the decision to live with my suicidal thoughts, not be ashamed of them, speaking openly about how destructive they once were and not fixating on the well i have to kill myself to stop everything and not waiting for things to go to shit (they may not who knows) again ive been looking at ways to enhance my life.

So im going to buy a campervan. As i work long hours im only actually in 3 days a week so when im off ill travel the uk. Living in the northwest there are so many beautiful places to visit close by. Im planning to live full time in the van, keep a low cost gym membership with multiple access and at work the ambulance bases have shower, kitchens etc.

So it begins, finding the right campervan and not paying out the arse rent wise anymore :)

I used to do the same job as you and I had a campervan for much of that time too.
I can honestly say that when I hit the road, travelling and sleeping in the van , I had some of the best days of my life.
I had a VW ( nice, but expensive) and a Ford Transit (more utility-like, but less expensive to live with)
If you get one, I'm sure you won't regret it.
Best wishes.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

@Shewaitsforme
I've been thinking about you and wondering how things are going with you?

Hi, things are good, just keeping myself busy with work. Still looking for the right campervan. Its on my days off things get hard, i just sit in my flat and dont go out.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Hi, things are good, just keeping myself busy with work. Still looking for the right campervan. Its on my days off things get hard, i just sit in my flat and dont go out.

Are you still managing to be at work full time?

 

[Shewaitsforme]

Are you still managing to be at work full time?

Yes still full time but as the shifts are 11/12 hours it works out around 3 days a week, 4 at most. Today and tomorrow im off, ive not been outside today at all, just sat in with the cat, probably the same tomorrow.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I know I've no right to be but I'm proud of you that you are carrying on with all you've been through; it's incredible and I honestly don't know where you have found the courage and strength of spirit. You are inspiring that you are even just sitting there - with the cat - the fact that you're back at work and keeping going though you must wonder how sometimes x

 

[LifeSick]

I guess recovery is the closest tag choosing to live positively with suicidal thoughts so yeah i guess its partly recovery.

Since i made the decision to live with my suicidal thoughts, not be ashamed of them, speaking openly about how destructive they once were and not fixating on the well i have to kill myself to stop everything and not waiting for things to go to shit (they may not who knows) again ive been looking at ways to enhance my life.

So im going to buy a campervan. As i work long hours im only actually in 3 days a week so when im off ill travel the uk. Living in the northwest there are so many beautiful places to visit close by. Im planning to live full time in the van, keep a low cost gym membership with multiple access and at work the ambulance bases have shower, kitchens etc.

So it begins, finding the right campervan and not paying out the arse rent wise anymore :)

I love the way you are facing you suicidal thoughts. It's something I'm also trying to do, although I can't know if our motivations are similar. Also, living in a van is something I've been fantasizing about for some time now. Please let us know how it's going for you.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

So im going to buy a campervan. As i work long hours im only actually in 3 days a week so when im off ill travel the uk. Living in the northwest there are so many beautiful places to visit close by. Im planning to live full time in the van, keep a low cost gym membership with multiple access and at work the ambulance bases have shower, kitchens etc.

So it begins, finding the right campervan and not paying out the arse rent wise anymore :)

Do you mind sharing what your plans are for using the restroom? I've also considered buying a "tiny home on wheels" as an alternative to paying gobs of money every month on rent for a dump. The major stumbling block for me (besides money, zoning laws in the US, where to keep the tiny home, and how to deter crime...) has been how to set up a fully functional restroom... Thanks for sharing if you're up to it. Hope things work out for you.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

Do you mind sharing what your plans are for using the restroom? I've also considered buying a "tiny home on wheels" as an alternative to paying gobs of money every month on rent for a dump. The major stumbling block for me (besides money, zoning laws in the US, where to keep the tiny home, and how to deter crime...) has been how to set up a fully functional restroom... Thanks for sharing if you're up to it. Hope things work out for you.

I plan on building a closed section for a porta loo to start but the space can also be used for a shower using a tankless water heater. Some campervans already have this facility but im thinking of doing a self build as im actually good on the DIY front. I have 4 big IKEA wardrobes with frosted glass im going to cut them down to size and use the in the build plus an ikea flat pack double bed and other IKEA storage. Ill reuse as much as possible.

I work full time so 3/4 days a week ill have access to restroom, shower, hot water and cooking facilities on station. I also plan on keeping a low cost gym membership.

When im away i can either spend a few nights at a campsite with facilities, use service station bathrooms or if im wildcamping ill have my toilet/shower facility in the campervan anyway.

Ill be installing a solar panel on the roof, 2 leisure batteries on a split charging system plus carry an extra gas cannister for my cooker and heater.

Ive done alot of research, costing, youtube videos. I cant wait, its literally giving me something to live for other than just my job. Ill be able to travel and just chill out, oh and my cat is coming with with so ill be starting to leash train her soon

 

[Shewaitsforme]

I love the way you are facing you suicidal thoughts. It's something I'm also trying to do, although I can't know if our motivations are similar. Also, living in a van is something I've been fantasizing about for some time now. Please let us know how it's going for you.

I bumped into the psychologist i had on the ward (id just dropped a patient at AnE so was in my uniform) he said hed heard i was back at work etc. He is called Rufus May and if you search his name and 'living with voices' youll see what he is about. I basically use what he teaches but applied them to my suicidal thoughts. I dont hear voices but its worked for me so far. There is no reason i and others cant live with suicidal thougths and literally the self destructive path i just couldnt get off is almost non existant now because i dont fight against my thoughts anymore, i dont view suicide as my only option because im giving myself other options too as best i can. Yes i still have SN in my cupboard but thats ok, i dont beat myself up about it anymore its just an option thats it.

Ill post campervan updates as soon as ive found one :)

 

[JustAboutDone]

I have a friend who's trained her cat with a harness and leash - he's good as gold with it and it works a treat

 

[LifeSick]

I bumped into the psychologist i had on the ward (id just dropped a patient at AnE so was in my uniform) he said hed heard i was back at work etc. He is called Rufus May and if you search his name and 'living with voices' youll see what he is about. I basically use what he teaches but applied them to my suicidal thoughts. I dont hear voices but its worked for me so far. There is no reason i and others cant live with suicidal thougths and literally the self destructive path i just couldnt get off is almost non existant now because i dont fight against my thoughts anymore, i dont view suicide as my only option because im giving myself other options too as best i can. Yes i still have SN in my cupboard but thats ok, i dont beat myself up about it anymore its just an option thats it.

Ill post campervan updates as soon as ive found one :)

Thank you for the tip, I found a video of his lecture about it. I can't watch it right now but just the video description got me interested right away. Learning to meditate is something I've been putting off for a long time now.
Also, good luck with your campervan project, I've heard it's a lot of work putting it together but I'm sure it'll pay off in the end. I'm gonna get my driver's licence soon and since my grandpa stopped driving a couple years back, he gifted me his old car from the 90's. it's a medium sized hatchback but i'm considering using it as a small camper. At least it's stealthier than a van.