animetal
a confession, a cadaver
- May 8, 2023
- 81
I love my mom but she is the main reason why I want to ctb, she's a narcissist and never accepted me for being autistic, no wonder I had developed bpd because I had to mask my literal self and I always had an unstable image of who I am because growing up she never really let me be me and then her blaming me for being sa'd. And she just always triggers me and she said if I'm going to kill myself don't do it here when I was just sitting on the couch laying down. It's like she wants me to do it :/ anyways I feel very unloved by the world, by my family , by everyone I can't help but think it's my fault . I feel very alone and I don't even have the person that I loved spending time with the most. He told me to just let him go but without him I feel like I'm nothing, I don't want to bother my friends I feel my whole life is just crumbling and there's nothing I can do to fix it. All the chances I had are gone and I have no motivation to even work or do anything I'm so extremely depressed . I can't do it anymore. I feel I can't even express who I am around her and and the only time she talks to me is when it's about herself. It's so unfair