Life will only ever get more awful.

[FuneralCry]

It is true that things will only ever get worse, the more years spent here enduring this existence. The problems and suffering will increase and as a result this will lead to people becoming more and more tired of living. Life is just endless misery with no real relief. If there is anything positive it will just be taken away. Life can be disappointing, painful, extremely tedious and of course dying shouldn't be so difficult in a world filled with so much despair.

All humans have to look forward to is old age where they will watch themselves deteriorate. At any age we can end up with health problems which just torture us more. There's nothing desirable or pleasurable about life in any way. Humans do the same repetitive tasks all for no purpose again and again, for decades on end with at all times the chance always being there of things getting much worse and ending up in the most horrifying situation imaginable.

All of this is why I wish that I left when I was much younger. Things could only get more awful in the future and leaving as soon as possible would have prevented so much suffering. I dread to think about what could lie ahead. I could never see a point to suffering endlessly just to die eventually. Humans endure so many horrible things just to pass away and be forgotten about. There's no real way to escape pain in life apart from leaving life behind.

To never be born of course will always be the best possible thing, by never existing all of our problems would have been prevented, problems in which there never was a need for in the first place.
My fear and hatred of suffering and struggling is part of the reason in which dying is so difficult to me, to fail and end up in a worse condition is so horrifying. Legalising euthanasia for us all would prevent a future filled with misery.

 

[Astronauta]

Também penso assim. O mundo está cercado de coisas ruins e viver tem sido uma experiência dolorosa. Uma tortura!

 

[takemenowpls]

Your words are so well delivered and so so true. Everyday is just more suffering. And like you I am scared to fail another Attempt. The LAST thing I want is to be forced to live brain dead. Terrifies me

 

[Lifeaballache]

I completely agree. What actually is the point in life? Work till you die unless you are stinking rich and can actually have a good quality of life.

The one thing that strikes me so much these days is that one day it will be as if you never existed at all. All the people who knew you will eventually die and no one will even know who you were at all.

 

[LowLevelChimp]

Completely agree with the OP, the waiting isn't worth it and I regret the failures I had at an exit in my previous years.

I've been so sick for the last four months with a mystery problem and it's given me an insight into my future old age, just a long series of complications of my chronic illnesses. It doesn't fill me with optimism and I see only a worsening situation.

I was forced off the hamster wheel of life due to my behaviour and drinking and I was foolish enough to think there could be a second chance for loser like me but no, I find I'm envious of those "wage slaves" and wish I could join them. The rejections are polite but no one wants or needs a loser with a criminal record in his 50's regardless of how short of labour they are and I don't blame them.

I feel sorry for my wife but I know my best action is to remove myself from the situation, my friend says it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem but I can disagree and show evidence that my problems are indeed permanent and my financial difficulties would be rectified if I pulled it off.

I wish everyone the best possible outcomes, peace of mind and maybe even some serenity.

 

[Hollowillow]

It is true that things will only ever get worse, the more years spent here enduring this existence. The problems and suffering will increase and as a result this will lead to people becoming more and more tired of living. Life is just endless misery with no real relief. If there is anything positive it will just be taken away. Life can be disappointing, painful, extremely tedious and of course dying shouldn't be so difficult in a world filled with so much despair.

All humans have to look forward to is old age where they will watch themselves deteriorate. At any age we can end up with health problems which just torture us more. There's nothing desirable or pleasurable about life in any way. Humans do the same repetitive tasks all for no purpose again and again, for decades on end with at all times the chance always being there of things getting much worse and ending up in the most horrifying situation imaginable.

All of this is why I wish that I left when I was much younger. Things could only get more awful in the future and leaving as soon as possible would have prevented so much suffering. I dread to think about what could lie ahead. I could never see a point to suffering endlessly just to die eventually. Humans endure so many horrible things just to pass away and be forgotten about. There's no real way to escape pain in life apart from leaving life behind.

To never be born of course will always be the best possible thing, by never existing all of our problems would have been prevented, problems in which there never was a need for in the first place.
My fear and hatred of suffering and struggling is part of the reason in which dying is so difficult to me, to fail and end up in a worse condition is so horrifying. Legalising euthanasia for us all would prevent a future filled with misery.

I so agree, but as I hear a mirror of myself... A part of me argues in my mind...

We can have the joy of discoveries, dreams, good company...

Some people seem to have a life full of live & safety. I envy & resent their inability to understand my physical pain... They even gaslight me... Telling me it's just in my head... I want to torture them the way I am... To break them with trauma the way I am. But maybe they lived worse & are in denial. Too weak to face reality.

I too wish I could time travel to give euthanasia to my younger self.

But I wish you with all my heart to taste the peaceful beauty of nature's simple joys before you go. To muster the strength to have 1 desire & get it.

I ordered 75$ of st-hubert restaurant yesterday. Like a last meal. As my despair & utter disdain for the care system reached new levels. I could be saved... If people used half the energy they use invaludating my oain to find the damn cause & fix it... I could be saved...

Thinking of my dreams hurt me.

Thank you for sharing despair with me. That's all I had... And yet we shared. I am fond of you.

 

[brokensea]

There's so much truth in what you said. I feel any happiness and love you feel, that person will eventually die. They'll abandon you. Every good thing you have never lasts. You don't even have your health or your mind. Your body begins dying as soon as you're born. Only being able to enjoy real love for a time makes the world bearable and so many of us don't even have that or have never had that. Instead we are abused, neglected, violated, cut off from the people we love and trust and what is left after that?

 

[Hollowillow]

Completely agree with the OP, the waiting isn't worth it and I regret the failures I had at an exit in my previous years.

I've been so sick for the last four months with a mystery problem and it's given me an insight into my future old age, just a long series of complications of my chronic illnesses. It doesn't fill me with optimism and I see only a worsening situation.

I was forced off the hamster wheel of life due to my behaviour and drinking and I was foolish enough to think there could be a second chance for loser like me but no, I find I'm envious of those "wage slaves" and wish I could join them. The rejections are polite but no one wants or needs a loser with a criminal record in his 50's regardless of how short of labour they are and I don't blame them.

I feel sorry for my wife but I know my best action is to remove myself from the situation, my friend says it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem but I can disagree and show evidence that my problems are indeed permanent and my financial difficulties would be rectified if I pulled it off.

I wish everyone the best possible outcomes, peace of mind and maybe even some serenity.

I too have mystery agonies.

My dumb condescending guess from your envy of slave wages & alcoholism: burn out from putting productivity above vital needs. Alcohol cravings are a sign of anemia. B vitamins is what is truly needed. The AA founder used B3 with success but vitamins are taboo because it discredit pharma so they used a more religious approach? I read that some fishes priduce alcohol on purpise in water with low oxygen, because it protects the cells. But it's toxic so it's better to get what is needed to have red blood cells. B, c to absorb iron.

Other signs of lack of b is nerve that waste away... Numb tingling extremities, memory loss? Psychosis.

Doctors don't know this & no pill can fix it except supplements. Eggs, flesh...

Of course you might have some disease like cancer... But that too come from malnutrition... Poisons... Lack of vitamin c. Heart attacks can be xaused by stimulants & lack of c to make strong collagen in muscles.

I don't know you... But if drug pushers don't know... Try biology & nature. I went back to the source & fixed my basic needs.

It worked until I nuked my appartment with toxic chemicals by accident... I'm a dumb piece of shit.

My point is... There are more than the pharma way to do health care... Try something new?

I guess taking the bus would be new for me... I longed for a nice trip since I was a kid... Intense strict self care nade waiting for death less painful .. but I'm way too messed up now... So if drinking is your only joy... I can't judge you. Maybe you'll get some liver disease bus ticket...

I envy the wage slaves dying if heart attacks... They lived brightly... You did... Had a wife... Career... I bet nice drinking parties with friends... Maybe you just need rest to recharge. Maybe you need eternal rest.

I read about adrenal fatigue... The early stages can be cured... I am being poisonned faster than I can heal... Got osychological relentless attacks every time I asked for help... Friends warning me to only be positive... Therapists only wanting to talk about the joys I can no longer do instead of solutions to save me... Poluce saying i deserved to be beaten... Friends abusing me sexually in time if need...

I'm so done... Not worth climbing out of hell. But if you live your wife & want to work in society & still belueve in your dreams... Maybe give intense self care a shot? Alcohol is a poison... I wish it was a fast one, I'd get some, in fruit juices...

I probably need more of your symptoms to make a guess. It was just a random example that I saw & had.

The point being... That our body know best and we're better at self care than doctors... Pain & depression are great guides to figure it out... I know my problem... I don't have the strength of time or money or opportunity to fix it .. can't move out of my toxic home... Doomed to die in my shame, invalidated & mocked...

I believe you're not doomed... But if you're as tired of climbing moutains as me... I hope we can figure out how to nope out together...

Sorry I misread the part about being a felon in his 50? Even as a young woman I wouldn't be hired except to harass me sexually... I can titally see a felon selling cars. Or a janitor, serms peaceful. Suspicious jobs? Garbage collector? Stinks but they save us from insalubrity, rats & plagues. Noble saviors. More crimes is always an option? I wish I could hire a killer to off me. Maybe start a business from home? No one need to know if you're your own boss. Help your wife sell muffins? delivery guy? Or disability checks while the wife works?

 

[IWillSmileWhenIDie]

I agree with you with you mostly, life can get so fucked up, sometimes in unpredictable ways, I feel your pain and hope you find relief from suffering. BUT it is just not true that things will ONLY get worse, you might feel that it is your case or it might be (although rare that nothing good can happen at all I don't know your situation so I can't say), but not for everyone that's for sure. In my case there have been times I wished I was dead cause I felt both physical and mental pain sometimes at the same time, I enjoyed things later tho and althogh as life happens I suffer I also enjoy stuff so it's not only suffering going on or the only possibility, . That being said people can and should think if enduring pain is worth it and I respect eveone's choice to die and wish it was more available to everyone to die with dignity, it sucks that it isn't.

 

[theboy]

It's true. I too should have died many years ago. My life is a mistake.
I'm sorry you're going through this suffering. I wish peace in your heart

 

[Hiraeth Grimoire]

Words of the wise. I agree fully with what you said, which is why I subscribe to promortalism, efilism, antinatalism, and negative utilitarianism. This place is hell. I hope you will be able to find peace and freedom fellow sufferer.

 

[LowLevelChimp]

I too have mystery agonies.

My dumb condescending guess from your envy of slave wages & alcoholism: burn out from putting productivity above vital needs. Alcohol cravings are a sign of anemia. B vitamins is what is truly needed. The AA founder used B3 with success but vitamins are taboo because it discredit pharma so they used a more religious approach? I read that some fishes priduce alcohol on purpise in water with low oxygen, because it protects the cells. But it's toxic so it's better to get what is needed to have red blood cells. B, c to absorb iron.

Other signs of lack of b is nerve that waste away... Numb tingling extremities, memory loss? Psychosis.

Doctors don't know this & no pill can fix it except supplements. Eggs, flesh...

Of course you might have some disease like cancer... But that too come from malnutrition... Poisons... Lack of vitamin c. Heart attacks can be xaused by stimulants & lack of c to make strong collagen in muscles.

I don't know you... But if drug pushers don't know... Try biology & nature. I went back to the source & fixed my basic needs.

It worked until I nuked my appartment with toxic chemicals by accident... I'm a dumb piece of shit.

My point is... There are more than the pharma way to do health care... Try something new?

I guess taking the bus would be new for me... I longed for a nice trip since I was a kid... Intense strict self care nade waiting for death less painful .. but I'm way too messed up now... So if drinking is your only joy... I can't judge you. Maybe you'll get some liver disease bus ticket...

I envy the wage slaves dying if heart attacks... They lived brightly... You did... Had a wife... Career... I bet nice drinking parties with friends... Maybe you just need rest to recharge. Maybe you need eternal rest.

I read about adrenal fatigue... The early stages can be cured... I am being poisonned faster than I can heal... Got osychological relentless attacks every time I asked for help... Friends warning me to only be positive... Therapists only wanting to talk about the joys I can no longer do instead of solutions to save me... Poluce saying i deserved to be beaten... Friends abusing me sexually in time if need...

I'm so done... Not worth climbing out of hell. But if you live your wife & want to work in society & still belueve in your dreams... Maybe give intense self care a shot? Alcohol is a poison... I wish it was a fast one, I'd get some, in fruit juices...

I probably need more of your symptoms to make a guess. It was just a random example that I saw & had.

The point being... That our body know best and we're better at self care than doctors... Pain & depression are great guides to figure it out... I know my problem... I don't have the strength of time or money or opportunity to fix it .. can't move out of my toxic home... Doomed to die in my shame, invalidated & mocked...

I believe you're not doomed... But if you're as tired of climbing moutains as me... I hope we can figure out how to nope out together...

Sorry I misread the part about being a felon in his 50? Even as a young woman I wouldn't be hired except to harass me sexually... I can titally see a felon selling cars. Or a janitor, serms peaceful. Suspicious jobs? Garbage collector? Stinks but they save us from insalubrity, rats & plagues. Noble saviors. More crimes is always an option? I wish I could hire a killer to off me. Maybe start a business from home? No one need to know if you're your own boss. Help your wife sell muffins? delivery guy? Or disability checks while the wife works?

Thank you for this reply, I appreciate it. I must admit that in part I found the advice about vitamin supplements interesting. I have used many of those in my abstinence from alcohol having been clean for just over 7 years and the founder you mentioned forms a part of my life to keep me sober.

The thought of cancer has been mooted on more than one occasion and I do have fear of that as a way of drifting in to the abyss, symptoms do indeed point to that diagnosis and I am waiting results.

My envy of the wage slavery probably refers to wanting my old life back, in truth my loss of control and reputation due to my offence hurt much more than the financial loss. As you correctly identified I currently work for myself when I can. I also study at university which is a good way of passing time.

I was slightly amused of your mention of continuing my criminal activity as a way forward as my crime had no profit with the exception of driving my close family to a distant country and the rest disowning me.

Thank you for the time you took to reply and in the meantime until I gain the desperation and courage (for want of a better word) I will be looking for that answer, and yes perhaps we'll find it amongst the ruins as the world implodes.

I wish you well.