ArchmagePrincess
Magical Princess of Death
- Aug 31, 2022
- 145
People always say life is a gift, and in a weird way, I agree.
The term "white elephant gift" comes from a story where a king would gift a white elephant to people he really disliked. They were very high maintenance while also being rare and valuable. If you didn't take care of it, you'd be in huge trouble as you disgrace the gift from the king, but it was very expensive to take care of and the people gifted it were often left in financial ruin.
Life has a lot of similarities. It's this incredibly rare once-in-a-lifetime (literally) opportunity. Our consciousness is a short blink of an eye of an eternity of just being nothing and most matter in the universe doesn't get to live. They're all the way we were before we were born, just not being alive not being able to think or feel. Receiving a rare white elephant as a gift from the king is not an honor most get. It's beautiful and magical at times.
Having genuine bonding moments with other people, being able to witness the beauty of nature, books, movies, and games, that feeling of achievement when something you've worked hard at finally pays off. But just like the beautiful 7-ton animal, life often makes you deal with giant piles of shit. Abuse, betrayal, hunger, fear, pain, grief, loneliness. It makes you take care of it constantly and you aren't allowed to stop without serious consequences. You have to feed yourself but not too much, drink enough to stay hydrated, exercise, socialize, entertain yourself, bathe, manage mental health, gain fulfillment, and maintain a safe shelter at any cost. It's so much effort to just keep up, and so punishing if you ever stop.
I'm just exhausted. I don't want this gift anymore. There's so much to appreciate and like about it, but god damn am I tired. I'm still not certain whether or not I'll finally decide, but the more I deal with and experience the more enticing a dreamless sleep is. Just rejecting my white elephant gift and going back to before I was born.
The term "white elephant gift" comes from a story where a king would gift a white elephant to people he really disliked. They were very high maintenance while also being rare and valuable. If you didn't take care of it, you'd be in huge trouble as you disgrace the gift from the king, but it was very expensive to take care of and the people gifted it were often left in financial ruin.
Life has a lot of similarities. It's this incredibly rare once-in-a-lifetime (literally) opportunity. Our consciousness is a short blink of an eye of an eternity of just being nothing and most matter in the universe doesn't get to live. They're all the way we were before we were born, just not being alive not being able to think or feel. Receiving a rare white elephant as a gift from the king is not an honor most get. It's beautiful and magical at times.
Having genuine bonding moments with other people, being able to witness the beauty of nature, books, movies, and games, that feeling of achievement when something you've worked hard at finally pays off. But just like the beautiful 7-ton animal, life often makes you deal with giant piles of shit. Abuse, betrayal, hunger, fear, pain, grief, loneliness. It makes you take care of it constantly and you aren't allowed to stop without serious consequences. You have to feed yourself but not too much, drink enough to stay hydrated, exercise, socialize, entertain yourself, bathe, manage mental health, gain fulfillment, and maintain a safe shelter at any cost. It's so much effort to just keep up, and so punishing if you ever stop.
I'm just exhausted. I don't want this gift anymore. There's so much to appreciate and like about it, but god damn am I tired. I'm still not certain whether or not I'll finally decide, but the more I deal with and experience the more enticing a dreamless sleep is. Just rejecting my white elephant gift and going back to before I was born.