Venting Life is a loop.

[GalacticWarrior777]

Anybody else feels like this? Where life is just a cruel, everlasting loop that gets worse and worse every time the loop replays?

I've been feeling like this for the past 5 or so years, ever since my friend died in a car crash. Ever since life seems to replay itself, but every next replay the scenarios change a little, but for the worse each time. I've tried finding exits from the loop, but every single time I find the exit from this loop, it just dissapears, and it seems that suicide might be the only way out, but just as much as I want to die, I also want to live, but outside of the loop. Away from all the things that break me; my family, my friends, school. I'm trying to hold back from comitting suicide, but the other self that wants to commit it just gets stronger and stronger, and it gets harder and harder to hold on to my dear life. If I somehow would make it to the end of highschool, maybe then I could escape the loop. I don't expect much from life, as If I somehow would escape this terrifying loop, I'd just get a psychologist therapy to possibly get back on the track.

Wishing you guys all the best if you are experiencing something similar.

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

Life has always been a never ending cycle of pain, it just took me a long period of thinking before I began to realise that, I used to value my existence, but as I have grown, I was forced to face the reality that my life was just pain and nothing but pain. No matter how hard I would try to think of any justification for why I should continue to live, I would be able to find it.

So I understand what you mean, life seems to be a repetitive cycle of unending misery, that tries to prevent you from escaping.

 

[Ethel]

Same

 

[GalacticWarrior777]

Life has always been a never ending cycle of pain, it just took me a long period of thinking before I began to realise that, I used to value my existence, but as I have grown, I was forced to face the reality that my life was just pain and nothing but pain. No matter how hard I would try to think of any justification for why I should continue to live, I would be able to find it.

So I understand what you mean, life seems to be a repetitive cycle of unending misery, that tries to prevent you from escaping.

That's just so true! Every single time I try to find an exit, something happens that just completly blocks me from leaving this loop.

 

[Tac0Johnz]

I understand that 100% up until recently my life has been nothing but the same day over and over, every day feels the same and I notice more bad things happening to me, I've been derealizing and dissociating all day every day because of the stress of life, maybe it's the universe telling me it's time to throw in the towel? Idk.

 

[GalacticWarrior777]

I understand that 100% up until recently my life has been nothing but the same day over and over, every day feels the same and I notice more bad things happening to me, I've been derealizing and dissociating all day every day because of the stress of life, maybe it's the universe telling me it's time to throw in the towel? Idk.

Yeah, feels the same for me... But for some reason the other side of me wants to hold onto my life because of my last bits of hope.

I understand that 100% up until recently my life has been nothing but the same day over and over, every day feels the same and I notice more bad things happening to me, I've been derealizing and dissociating all day every day because of the stress of life, maybe it's the universe telling me it's time to throw in the towel? Idk.

Also, just a notice; I have practically everything required to commit suicide if I actually lose the fight between my two sides, so there's a high chance that if I really lose it, it would be possibly my last time ever losing.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't see life as a loop but rather as a constant downhill stream that perpetually goes downhill with no end until death. Humans have designed life to be worse and worse as we age. Not to mention that it's possible to one day randomly get a condition that makes us experience extreme pain and agony. A loop would mean that my suffering is stagnant but it isn't as it's only going to get worse and worse