aaaaAAAAuuuugggHUUUHhhhhhhmm?
"overwhelming" also works
or flipping between "overwhelming" and "stale"
or, alternatively, "inaccessible": it feels like true living is beyond my capacity, like there's this wall of frosted glass between me and everyone else, muting the boise around me, hiding some deeper, beautiful truth to it all from my grasp. I can kinda see what it is, but never truly participate.