Venting Life for people with BPD seems impossible, destined for failure.

[bruisedtorso]

I was diagnosed with BPD just over a year ago, everything finally started to make sense when i was diagnosed. I had a reason for why i was always so heartbroken when people would leave me, it wasn't a normal response, it was a BPD response. I've been cheated on, raped, sexually abused as a child, manipulated, gaslit, mentally tortured, and for what? I have nothing to show for my tortured life, only pain and suffering remains. I am 22 and i have had enough pain to last me a lifetime. I did want to give myself a chance and wait til 25 to see if anything changed, but the pain of life is too much and i'm not sure that i can hold on for very much longer. Someone just put the final nail in the coffin for me, told me they weren't like the rest, but they were exactly like the rest. After this i will never be able to trust with my heart again, so what is the point of continuing? I am a hopeless romantic with a tendency to find the worst people, this is never going to work out for me. I want the happy fairytale ending that everyone else seems to get, but it seems impossible for someone with such severe BPD symptoms as myself. I've exhausted all forms of therapy, nothing has helped. I've been stockpilling medications, i hope i'll have the strength soon to take them all and die.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I wish I had more to say other then I understand

 

[LittleJem]

What you've been through is so much and enough to give anyone long-lasting trauma and issues. I wish I could say more to comfort you, but what I do want to say is just surviving what you have been through and still being here is an achievement in itself. I hope you find some peace and comfort in your day and some support from all of us.

 

[bruisedtorso]

What you've been through is so much and enough to give anyone long-lasting trauma and issues. I wish I could say more to comfort you, but what I do want to say is just surviving what you have been through and still being here is an achievement in itself. I hope you find some peace and comfort in your day and some support from all of us.

Thank you for the kindness. I don't really see myself as a strong person, but people tell me i'm strong often. I just don't think i should have to be strong. Thank you for supporting me, i hope i find peace too. It's all i want. <3

 

[LittleJem]

Hey, I know. Being strong was all I had. When I was a kid, it was the main thing I knew I had: courage. But I'm tired of fighting the pain and mental illness. I would rather actually have fun and enjoy things, but that's not how I feel so what is the point.

I'm so sorry you were let down too by someone you trusted.

I hate the way all the mental illness and trauma heaps up issues over and over again as if one thing by itself isn't hard enough to handle.

 

[TessB]

I was diagnosed with BPD just over a year ago, everything finally started to make sense when i was diagnosed. I had a reason for why i was always so heartbroken when people would leave me, it wasn't a normal response, it was a BPD response. I've been cheated on, raped, sexually abused as a child, manipulated, gaslit, mentally tortured, and for what? I have nothing to show for my tortured life, only pain and suffering remains. I am 22 and i have had enough pain to last me a lifetime. I did want to give myself a chance and wait til 25 to see if anything changed, but the pain of life is too much and i'm not sure that i can hold on for very much longer. Someone just put the final nail in the coffin for me, told me they weren't like the rest, but they were exactly like the rest. After this i will never be able to trust with my heart again, so what is the point of continuing? I am a hopeless romantic with a tendency to find the worst people, this is never going to work out for me. I want the happy fairytale ending that everyone else seems to get, but it seems impossible for someone with such severe BPD symptoms as myself. I've exhausted all forms of therapy, nothing has helped. I've been stockpilling medications, i hope i'll have the strength soon to take them all and die.

I have bpd too and I totally understand, I agree it feels impossible to live with this disorder. I'm so sorry you are going through this, bpd fucking sucks.

 

[Nymph]

i feel you, i recently got diagnosed after thinking i had bpd for a long time already, so now its only confirmed. i get you, dont know how long i can take it

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Twenty years ago I was diagnosed with BPD. Again two years ago. You can live with it, but it's not easy...I've been in therapy many times, my last one took 2.5 years.

Now I'm getting older, most of the symptoms seem to get less, but maybe it's just I'm used to it now.

I'm sorry you all have to go through this. For all of you a big

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Me too buddy. When I was diagnosed in my late twenties all the pieces started to fit together. And just like you, I have nothing to show for all the times I was mistreated or betrayed except this feeling of impending doom looming over me, crushing me. Nothing seems to comfort me for more than ten minutes. I've totaly given up on people. And the future terrifies me.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I wish I could tell you that in person

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm so sorry to hear you've been through so much!
Still, you're somehow, still here. I think you're much stronger than you think.

It's not the same but, I've gone through lots of sh*t because of my bipolar disorder.

I can do nothing but wish you the best and send you lots of hugs.

You can count on me whenever you want to talk.!

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

Bpd is a fucker! But some can recover, many learn to lessen traits and it typically can ease as we get older. i hope you keep going, try therapies again, even when done before a few years can make a difference to how we approach it next time.
Believe me you are incredibly strong, even if you don't feel it. Any bpd survivor has to be strong to navigate life as we experience it.
Big hugs, StayBeautifulx

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I was diagnosed aged 57, although I knew for many years that I was 'different' and found romantic relationships particularly difficult and painful.
I know now that I have to stay clear of romance, and have done for 15 years, so my BPD symptoms are bearable, but I've also pushed friends and family away and I isolate as much as I can, so my triggers have decreased tremendously. But I'm lonely and feel it's too late to try to integrate myself again.

You have suffered so much in your short life OP, I hope you can summon some more of that strength to heal and live your life in some kind of happiness. Sending hugs xx

 

[bruisedtorso]

Hey, I know. Being strong was all I had. When I was a kid, it was the main thing I knew I had: courage. But I'm tired of fighting the pain and mental illness. I would rather actually have fun and enjoy things, but that's not how I feel so what is the point.

I'm so sorry you were let down too by someone you trusted.

I hate the way all the mental illness and trauma heaps up issues over and over again as if one thing by itself isn't hard enough to handle.

I would rather be having fun too. I'm tired of my life being all doom and gloom, but that's all there is for me at the moment. I feel like i put so much good out into the universe but i get nothing good back :(

It happens, i expect to be let down by everyone at some point.

It can all very quickly get on top of you and feel like the most crushing thing in the world, i get that.

I have bpd too and I totally understand, I agree it feels impossible to live with this disorder. I'm so sorry you are going through this, bpd fucking sucks.

I'm so sorry you suffer from this disorder, it really does feel impossible to live with it and to every think that things won't hurt this bad. BPD does indeed, fucking suck!

i feel you, i recently got diagnosed after thinking i had bpd for a long time already, so now its only confirmed. i get you, dont know how long i can take it

I hope that you can find peace in any way, bpd is a very suffocating disorder to have.

Twenty years ago I was diagnosed with BPD. Again two years ago. You can live with it, but it's not easy...I've been in therapy many times, my last one took 2.5 years.

Now I'm getting older, most of the symptoms seem to get less, but maybe it's just I'm used to it now.

I'm sorry you all have to go through this. For all of you a big

I hope that one day the symptoms won't be so painful, but i'm afraid i won't even make it to the point where i can continue to take the pain. I just want it to stop.

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

I hope that one day the symptoms won't be so painful, but i'm afraid i won't even make it to the point where i can continue to take the pain. I just want it to stop

This is exactly how i feel right now.

 

[loopylou]

I totally relate. I have bpd too. I find it completely impossible to keep friends and I'm so lonely. People get fed up with me pretty quick

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

Diagnosed at 24 or 25. I'm almost 31 now. It all makes sense. But I'm useless. It's going to kill me