Discussion LGBT Suicide - Why so common among us?

[fuzattojuliana]

Why LGBT community have one of the most high suicide taxes? This is caused by non-acception in the society but mainly in family. I every night before sleep wishing leave out, I think if people was not so cruel with was things could be different to me. My family, my mother overwhelming homophobia destroyed my life. While all my life just had some virtual dating suitors but was with 22 years old that I had my unique (first and last) girlfriend. With her was everything awesome but my conservative mother with her sick narcissism destroyed all. My girlfriend abandoned me and I cannot stop to cry. 22 years to live only 8 months in deed. The most painful parts are the good memories, my love, I will never forget you.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i'm sorry to hear you're in so much pain. i hope you can find some comfort on this forum.

like you said, it's because of narrow-minded people who don't understand or accept us, or don't want to, making us feel like outcasts because we're different. and when you add that to other problems, like abusive/dysfunctional families, abusive/toxic relationships, rape, religious trauma, etc., it makes us even more suicidal.

 

[nitroautnz]

Why LGBT community have one of the most high suicide taxes? This is caused by non-acception in the society but mainly in family. I every night before sleep wishing leave out, I think if people was not so cruel with was things could be different to me. My family, my mother overwhelming homophobia destroyed my life. While all my life just had some virtual dating suitors but was with 22 years old that I had my unique (first and last) girlfriend. With her was everything awesome but my conservative mother with her sick narcissism destroyed all. My girlfriend abandoned me and I cannot stop to cry. 22 years to live only 8 months in deed. The most painful parts are the good memories, my love, I will never forget you.

Im sorry you did have to go through this, I never understand people like that, its disgusting.

 

[fuzattojuliana]

i'm sorry to hear you're in so much pain. i hope you can find some comfort on this forum.

like you said, it's because of narrow-minded people who don't understand or accept us, or don't want to, making us feel like outcasts because we're different. and when you add that to other problems, like abusive/dysfunctional families, abusive/toxic relationships, rape, religious trauma, etc., it makes us even more suicidal.

I suffered basically all you said, I'm from a dysfunctional family, with a religious mother and even aunts, my father was a drunk and committed suicide when I was 15, I was raped when I was 6 years old by a boy of same age (that's what pornography do with kids) and many many attempts when I had 18. About bullying? My school was a hell. I'm glad I have good people I can trust and be with.

 

[Nymph]

I wish I could get top surgery so bad, it's one of the reasons of my ctb. I hate my female features. I wanna be accepted by my family

 

[MrAsclepius]

The fact that many of us harbor internal homophobia shows society's failure, whether intentional or not.

 

[fuzattojuliana]

I wish I could get top surgery so bad, it's one of the reasons of my ctb. I hate my female features. I wanna be accepted by my family

If I would rich I would love pay your surgery. I know how much trans people feel like, out the box. I'm a feminine lesbian but, when I was younger, I think that I was like you so it made me have a lot of empathy and kindness.

The fact that many of us harbor internal homophobia shows society's failure, whether intentional or not.

Society became a shit when we were started to be punished for love. My family love more some rapists members than me.

 

[Stick]

I'm so sorry for you. You've gone through so much.

Society became a shit when we were started to be punished for love. My family love more some rapists members than me.

The fact that they could love someone who acts without love, yet shun someone like you who is just trying to live the life they deserve... disgusting.
You deserve to be around people who can accept you and nourish your life, not kill you with their selfishness. You deserve love.

Personally, I'd say its not just non-acceptance that leads to LGBT+ suicide, but misunderstanding. I'm lucky enough to have a supportive family, but when i "came out" as a lesbian to the accepting side of my family it was still a big deal to them. One of my sisters was excited that I was gay, and she was like "I always kinda knew, there were signs". You'd think that's a good thing, but think about it. I've never been in a relationship, and I'm not trying to form one. In a perfect world, whether I'm gay or not shouldn't affect anything about my life or how people perceive me, and yet, it does. This small detail completely changes how people view me, and because of that, I can never separate me personality from my identity as a lesbian.
To make things more complicated, I've only recently began to realize that I don't really want to identify as a woman. I'd rather identify as nonbinary. Yet, like you, I'm a feminine lesbian. I like dresses and makeup and shit. But to other people, what I appear as (a girl) is always going to be what they think of me as. Even if I were to come out about this to my family, I know they would support me, they would accept me, but they would never understand me, because society has clouded their perception on what it means to be LGBT+ and twisted it into something i can't untangle.

Sorry to vent, I just got kind of passionate. This thread is about you. But, that's my opinion. I think misunderstanding also plays a big part.

 

[fuzattojuliana]

I'm so sorry for you. You've gone through so much.

The fact that they could love someone who acts without love, yet shun someone like you who is just trying to live the life they deserve... disgusting.
You deserve to be around people who can accept you and nourish your life, not kill you with their selfishness. You deserve love.

Personally, I'd say its not just non-acceptance that leads to LGBT+ suicide, but misunderstanding. I'm lucky enough to have a supportive family, but when i "came out" as a lesbian to the accepting side of my family it was still a big deal to them. One of my sisters was excited that I was gay, and she was like "I always kinda knew, there were signs". You'd think that's a good thing, but think about it. I've never been in a relationship, and I'm not trying to form one. In a perfect world, whether I'm gay or not shouldn't affect anything about my life or how people perceive me, and yet, it does. This small detail completely changes how people view me, and because of that, I can never separate me personality from my identity as a lesbian.
To make things more complicated, I've only recently began to realize that I don't really want to identify as a woman. I'd rather identify as nonbinary. Yet, like you, I'm a feminine lesbian. I like dresses and makeup and shit. But to other people, what I appear as (a girl) is always going to be what they think of me as. Even if I were to come out about this to my family, I know they would support me, they would accept me, but they would never understand me, because society has clouded their perception on what it means to be LGBT+ and twisted it into something i can't untangle.

Sorry to vent, I just got kind of passionate. This thread is about you. But, that's my opinion. I think misunderstanding also plays a big part.

There's any problem, you should have voice here. Independent of who you're, where you're from. I wish you better than I had and better than I will have. I hope once people could just love in peace.

 

[foxdie]

I'm cisgenger male but I try to be an ally. The ignorance of people drives me crazy! Also I'm a POC so I'm naturally sympathetic to anyone experiencing discrimination. How can you know some else better then they do? I think alot of it can come from religion maybe? When I was a manager I would crack down on any homophobia, or transphobia. Don't be an asshole use the pronouns they want. Use gay as a pejoritive? That's a written warning. People are so unempathtic and ignorant.

Just never assume anything about anyone. Just respect them as they are. I actually had an experience a few years back where I had a crush on a woman who outwardly presented as "lesbian" to put it unsophisticated way. But I was really attracted to her. I asked her out anyway and it turned she was bisexual. She wasn't interested but we're still friends cause she was really cool. Stay strong mes amis

 

[Ghost2211]

Society treats you guys like crap, likely because you can't make more babies for them to control. Why else would anyone care who you love?

 

[ItsOverIsntIt]

Yeah it sucks. I hate how some people will fetishize lesbians. I myself am one and the things people have said make me want to throw up and tear off my body. I wish I could be accepted for who I love

 

[fuzattojuliana]

I'm cisgenger male but I try to be an ally. The ignorance of people drives me crazy! Also I'm a POC so I'm naturally sympathetic to anyone experiencing discrimination. How can you know some else better then they do? I think alot of it can come from religion maybe? When I was a manager I would crack down on any homophobia, or transphobia. Don't be an asshole use the pronouns they want. Use gay as a pejoritive? That's a written warning. People are so unempathtic and ignorant.

Just never assume anything about anyone. Just respect them as they are. I actually had an experience a few years back where I had a crush on a woman who outwardly presented as "lesbian" to put it unsophisticated way. But I was really attracted to her. I asked her out anyway and it turned she was bisexual. She wasn't interested but we're still friends cause she was really cool. Stay strong mes amis

I'm very glad you respect people. If world was always like this the life would be better. I don't understand why people don't care of each other.

 

[CTB-London]

A lot of people talk about heterosexual intolerance causing LGBT mental health issues. As a white middle gay man in the UK, this is less of an issue. What I hate about being gay is all the ugliness and negativity that surrounds being gay - like the seedy life, sordid subculture and things like drugs and diseases that surrounds male homosexuality. To me gay men are their own worst enemy.

 

[musicalpriest]

Yeah it sucks. I hate how some people will fetishize lesbians. I myself am one and the things people have said make me want to throw up and tear off my body. I wish I could be accepted for who I love

SAME. I'm sick of being disrespected.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

A lot of people talk about heterosexual intolerance causing LGBT mental health issues. As a white middle gay man in the UK, this is less of an issue. What I hate about being gay is all the ugliness and negativity that surrounds being gay - like the seedy life, sordid subculture and things like drugs and diseases that surrounds male homosexuality. To me gay men are their own worst enemy.

Yes, I hear about this too. I don't have any data, but I can't imagine this is a majority. I'm a gay male, living a typical suburban life with my husband. We don't do drugs or engage in orgies. Having worked in the arts for almost 15 years and having educated a lot of young artists, I know a lot of gay people of all ages. They're all pretty much like me and my husband.

Even without the seedy lifestyle, gay men struggle with issues of societal acceptance and internalized homophobia. I wouldn't say we're our own worst enemy.

 

[LonelyNick]

For me it's the fact that I'll never have a real dick. Why live when my body will never look the way I want it to look

 

[mapletree]

I'm going to Karen here and offer my unsolicited opinion and say it's because people are assholes to LGBTQ people

 

[Brink]

Why LGBT community have one of the most high suicide taxes?

I think it's important to distinguish between LGB (sexuality) and gender-based identities/expressions in the context of mental illness and suicide. They're different and it's a complex topic.

 

[fuzattojuliana]

I think it's important to distinguish between LGB (sexuality) and gender-based identities/expressions in the context of mental illness and suicide. They're different and it's a complex topic.

Of course, between LGB the bisexuals are recordists of suicide, one example is the Jamey Rodemayer case in 2011 when things were thousands times worst. After it are we, gays or lesbians, in sexuality. But in general LGBT, transsexuals are the recordists because many reasons not only of suicide but murder.

 

[muffin222]

It's an incredibly nuanced and complex topic, but for me, personally, the stress of societal judgments (even if you don't personally care what people think, it does take a toll being a minority in society), the lack of understanding from the majority, and the difficulty of finding partners have created a lot of loneliness in my life. All of these factors alone are enough to push an already vulnerable person to the point of despair. As a bisexual person, "biphobia" from other members of the LGBTQ community also factors into the feelings of isolation.

 

[Antigonish]

A lot of people talk about heterosexual intolerance causing LGBT mental health issues. As a white middle gay man in the UK, this is less of an issue. What I hate about being gay is all the ugliness and negativity that surrounds being gay - like the seedy life, sordid subculture and things like drugs and diseases that surrounds male homosexuality. To me gay men are their own worst enemy.

And this is what I hate about living life queer. Because you can be out and open and proud, but still have to face the 'extra-ness' it takes to be gay.
Like everyone just assumes you act like a woman, or that you like having anal sex, or that you're over sexual and want every guy and will suck any dick that comes your way. And the biggest part of my depression comes from it being so hard to meet and have a relationship with someone who just normal gay. I'll meet someone have a nice conversation and they'll try and have 'behind-the-dumpster' sex with me. And harshly agree that gays are their own worst enemy. Someone told me (who was open, atleast I think) that being gay involved a stronger level of secrecy. And that's the main problem, I was hiding from myself for 16yrs. And refuse to go back to being a secret. To going back to the secret looks and weird prolonged hand shakes. Then it depresses me. Because I only have till I'm 28 to find something and I steadily running out of time. So other than vent I wanted to ask if you knew any great tips to find someone without having to fuck my way through half the world? I mean I meet people, but they're in the closet, straight, almost straight, or either secretly gay, or just to flamboyant. And most of those people are just looking for one thing, anyways. Idk sometimes I feel like I'm crazy and it's all just lil ugly me.

 

[Choronzon]

And this is what I hate about living life queer. Because you can be out and open and proud, but still have to face the 'extra-ness' it takes to be gay.

Boy you said a mouthful there. I'm bi, and in most ways have a ridiculous level of privilege, but nowhere really fits. I was pretty out for a while; in tech there was a certain "fly your freak flag" laissez-faire attitude. But then I moved to Canada, and while so much is so much better here, the IT world is shockingly buttoned-up or just full of "bro" bullshit, tons of blokey jokes among small teams, and so much job insecurity I have to go through the whole coming-out process over and over again, until I gave up.

I don't know what to tell you about the hypersexualization stuff where it comes to guys having sex with guys. I also find it really off-putting. It's not like I'm not horny but I'm not so much into saying "hello" by having my junk grabbed. I know that's not everywhere but it's just hard. Tinder is bonkers.

 

[fuzattojuliana]

It's an incredibly nuanced and complex topic, but for me, personally, the stress of societal judgments (even if you don't personally care what people think, it does take a toll being a minority in society), the lack of understanding from the majority, and the difficulty of finding partners have created a lot of loneliness in my life. All of these factors alone are enough to push an already vulnerable person to the point of despair. As a bisexual person, "biphobia" from other members of the LGBTQ community also factors into the feelings of isolation.

Biphobia is real and I saw as my ex girlfriend suffered it mixed with homophobia, it can affect a life in many ways you can't imagine or maybe you can if you're bi and know more than me, life is not just.

 

[Antigonish]

Boy you said a mouthful there. I'm bi, and in most ways have a ridiculous level of privilege, but nowhere really fits. I was pretty out for a while; in tech there was a certain "fly your freak flag" laissez-faire attitude. But then I moved to Canada, and while so much is so much better here, the IT world is shockingly buttoned-up or just full of "bro" bullshit, tons of blokey jokes among small teams, and so much job insecurity I have to go through the whole coming-out process over and over again, until I gave up.

I don't know what to tell you about the hypersexualization stuff where it comes to guys having sex with guys. I also find it really off-putting. It's not like I'm not horny but I'm not so much into saying "hello" by having my junk grabbed. I know that's not everywhere but it's just hard. Tinder is bonkers.

Yea so I've been thinking about volunteering at an LGBTQ+ center just to meet non-hetosexuals in a more neutral way. And the whole coming out thing over and over I get that. I personally find it frustrating that you have to do it and every single setting. Then I'm pissed because the whole coming out system is just stupid. Straight people dont have to do it so why should we. As long as I am proud and not in denial I dont care who knows.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Then I'm pissed because the whole coming out system is just stupid. Straight people dont have to do it so why should we.

"Love Simon" has a cute scene about teenagers "coming out" to their parents as straight. It always gives me a bit of a chuckle. :-)

 

[Linalez]

Yes, we are over-represented.
I am a lesbian but I feel pity for the men.
As someone said, it's just sex and finding a relationship is super hard.
For females it's just finding someone, for the pool is so small.
Add to that the homophobia, sometimes the closet and you get a deadly cocktail