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dwl30
Member
- Aug 14, 2024
- 6
Torn on whether to leave a letter or not. I know its ultimately a personal opinion choice. I had one failed attempt in the past where I wrote no letter and did not feel one was needed. And still feel that a letter is just leaving "excuses" behind for those who will already be affected by me choosing to ctb. I chose this, close people to me have seen what I have gone through so they should be able to understand my choice. Leaving a letter would just be a tangible piece left behind to cause them more pain. But on the other hand there is the person who I want to know that they had a chance of stopping this, they added to the pile that finally became too much to bear. Their lies and deceit, their using me until the last drop, dragging me through the mud and hurting those who lost me by their out of the blue choice became the tipping point. But does leaving that letter to them make me any better than them? Because now I'm just putting the weight of my choice on them.. sounds overly selfish to me. Maybe just a song left to the person or a couple of songs to let them know the feelings they caused were too much? Especially in an already challenging time in my life where they and our family that we built, the plans we had, steps we were taking in the right direction were what lifted the weight of health challenges, career changes and life. They don't deserve to have that weight on them for the rest of their lives and it wouldn't make a difference anyway since I'll be in the eternal peace that I have been searching for. And then there is the children, they are the other persons children but they see me as a parent and I love them as my own, so they deserve a letter that the other person can choose to give them (or choose not to) when the children are a bit older, telling them what they do mean to me and that I love them, or would that be more pain than they deserve on top of complete loss of me? Opinions?