Let's make history

[dartanian]

I'll open up by stating I'm an atheist, but recently I have been thinking about life after death.
kind of dreaming and wishing this might be possible...
I thought maybe one of us who ctb can help us on this world.
like agree on some sign that will the one who ctb will be signaling us that is soul is with us. or even help us with some goddess powers achieve things on our life.
Like for me the best thing will be helping me to make up my mistakes.
I had eating disorders when I was young. I'm a male and all my family is tall around 6"3. I didn't realize how much it hurts me, in so many levels and its ruined my whole youth, and stunted my growth.
There isn't a day I'm not crying how blind i was. I lost so much in all these years and I feel like if I could get just one chance to grow tall like opening my growth plates I'd be so grateful. I am stuck in a child body. It keeps reminding me every day every second like dealing with all the pain and suffering isn't enough.
the best thing will be to find out that in the "next chapter" people can do magical things to help us.
well that's just me hoping and dreaming, nothing else left for me to hold on.
feeling like someone put a big sign on my forehead for the rest of my life, like I can't heal from this disease.
share your thoughts with me

 

[raskolnikov]

I hear you. Can definitely relate.

I had eat disorders when young, main reasons being shitty people and professors.

I grew up to 5ft 10" just out of luck thanks to the fact that my father is 6ft 7". In fact my brother is 6ft 6". But anyway I have long thin limbs, small chest and had very weak almost nonexistant muscle mass as a young adult. I partially recovered from this working out in the gym gaining a decent body but that took me ten years to achieve a decent body (still disprortioned but no cure for that).

This is I think good part of what ruined my life. I became obsessive and dysmorphophobic and developed various ocd.

In regard to afterlife, I thought long time about the matter. As of late I'm not questioning the thing anymore. I just want to end it all. Then, what will be will be. I hope in a way or another to experience life again with more luck, eternal nothingness is not attractive to me, because I liked my life as a kid and I think I could even have had an happy life if it wasn't for some unfortunate accidents.

But as I said, I don't believe a lot on after life and don't give much importance anyway to what will happen, or if anything will happen at all after death. I am finally at peace with my mind and I will try to not think to anything at all on my last moments in this world.

 

[Avicii]

I'll open up by stating I'm an atheist, but recently I have been thinking about life after death.
kind of dreaming and wishing this might be possible...
I thought maybe one of us who ctb can help us on this world.
like agree on some sign that will the one who ctb will be signaling us that is soul is with us. or even help us with some goddess powers achieve things on our life.
Like for me the best thing will be helping me to make up my mistakes.
I had eating disorders when I was young. I'm a male and all my family is tall around 6"3. I didn't realize how much it hurts me, in so many levels and its ruined my whole youth, and stunted my growth.
There isn't a day I'm not crying how blind i was. I lost so much in all these years and I feel like if I could get just one chance to grow tall like opening my growth plates I'd be so grateful. I am stuck in a child body. It keeps reminding me every day every second like dealing with all the pain and suffering isn't enough.
the best thing will be to find out that in the "next chapter" people can do magical things to help us.
well that's just me hoping and dreaming, nothing else left for me to hold on.
feeling like someone put a big sign on my forehead for the rest of my life, like I can't heal from this disease.
share your thoughts with me

Hello darkness my old friend nothing awaits you but nothingness tone on Earth is your time to shine (or not to shine if on here !!)

 

[dartanian]

I hear you. Can definitely relate.

I had eat disorders when young, main reasons being shitty people and professors.

I grew up to 5ft 10" just out of luck thanks to the fact that my father is 6ft 7". In fact my brother is 6ft 6". But anyway I have long thin limbs, small chest and had very weak almost nonexistant muscle mass as a young adult. I partially recovered from this working out in the gym gaining a decent body but that took me ten years to achieve a decent body (still disprortioned but no cure for that).

This is I think good part of what ruined my life. I became obsessive and dysmorphophobic and developed various ocd.

In regard to afterlife, I thought long time about the matter. As of late I'm not questioning the thing anymore. I just want to end it all. Then, what will be will be. I hope in a way or another to experience life again with more luck, eternal nothingness is not attractive to me, because I liked my life as a kid and I think I could even have had an happy life if it wasn't for some unfortunate accidents.

But as I said, I don't believe a lot on after life and don't give much importance anyway to what will happen, or if anything will happen at all after death. I am finally at peace with my mind and I will try to not think to anything at all on my last moments in this world.

I'm also 5"10. was this height since 8th grade and then developed the ED. We have much same story.
I was one of the tallest in that age. now looks like a kiddo.
My brother is 6"3 and father was 6"1. I really can't handle this shit.
each day I just "pray" (atheist) that my body will start to grow like it should have had.
For 10 long years I have been fighting this and lost so much. suffering each day and I'm just tired can't handle it no more.
Lost my best friends as I became weirdo.
My whole family treats me like a child (well standing short next to them make it easy for them to disparage me).
I can truly understand your state. and just can imagine myself how it like to be around 6"6-7.
How old are u? is this your main reason whom brought you to want to ctb?

edit:
f*ck man!! I read some of your posts. WE ARE F*CKING THE SAME PERSON.
How fucked up is to find out there's another human being in this whole galaxy who went through the exact same life and suffer. Maybe you are in my future version I'm only 25 now.

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

I had a relative commit suicide and he came and visited for weeks afterwards. Im not sure if this is absolute proof, but he knew i had an interest in the afterlife, also have had to many other ghostly encounters to completely dismiss an afterlife, it makes sense to me to believe i never existed before birth and wont after, but just believing something doesent necessarily make it true.

 

[raskolnikov]

I'm also 5"10. was this height since 8th grade and then developed the ED. We have much same story.
I was one of the tallest in that age. now looks like a kiddo.
My brother is 6"3 and father was 6"1. I really can't handle this shit.
each day I just "pray" (atheist) that my body will start to grow like it should have had.
For 10 long years I have been fighting this and lost so much. suffering each day and I'm just tired can't handle it no more.
Lost my best friends as I became weirdo.
My whole family treats me like a child (well standing short next to them make it easy for them to disparage me).
I can truly understand your state. and just can imagine myself how it like to be around 6"6-7.
How old are u? is this your main reason whom brought you to want to ctb?

edit:
f*ck man!! I read some of your posts. WE ARE F*CKING THE SAME PERSON.
How fucked up is to find out there's another human being in this whole galaxy who went through the exact same life and suffer. Maybe you are in my future version I'm only 25 now.

Haha. I have a theory born from my personal observations, in which human types repeat themselves, both in look and in "brains". Maybe there is an invisible thread that link us in a certain way, such that we are born similar and our fate is similar too :)

Well, I'm pleased too to know that someone else is out there, despite my "theory" sometimes I truly believed no one else could have had such an ironical and tragic past as mine. My life looks like gods really got fun of me, day after day. Sort of cruel fun, indeed.

Not so pleasant to find you on this forum :)
Other circumstances would have been better I think :)

What I can say to you, is that I continued to struggle from your age until now and my situation in life didn't improve a bit, despite my excruciating efforts.

Not that I want to let you down, because also in this part of my life I think objectively to have been quite unlucky, and if a few different things had gone differently maybe now I would have been moderately comfortable to live on. And I speak of trivial things that for some reasons brought to disastrous chains of events. At least this is what I think, no way to verify of course.

At your age even I was was already in a big depression, I hadn't never thought of suicide because I still "believed". But now I have cleared my view.

Where are you from, just out of curiosity? (if you want to say, no problem otherwise)

 

[dartanian]

Haha. I have a theory born from my personal observations, in which human types repeat themselves, both in look and in "brains". Maybe there is an invisible thread that link us in a certain way, such that we are born similar and our fate is similar too :)

Well, I'm pleased too to know that someone else is out there, despite my "theory" sometimes I truly believed no one else could have had such an ironical and tragic past as mine. My life looks like gods really got fun of me, day after day. Sort of cruel fun, indeed.

Not so pleasant to find you on this forum :)
Other circumstances would have been better I think :)

What I can say to you, is that I continued to struggle from your age until now and my situation in life didn't improve a bit, despite my excruciating efforts.

Not that I want to let you down, because also in this part of my life I think objectively to have been quite unlucky, and if a few different things had gone differently maybe now I would have been moderately comfortable to live on. And I speak of trivial things that for some reasons brought to disastrous chains of events. At least this is what I think, no way to verify of course.

At your age even I was was already in a big depression, I hadn't never thought of suicide because I still "believed". But now I have cleared my view.

Where are you from, just out of curiosity? (if you want to say, no problem otherwise)

I'm sending you a pm this is really interesting.
any other comments/thoughts are still welcome!

 

[dartanian]

I had a relative commit suicide and he came and visited for weeks afterwards. Im not sure if this is absolute proof, but he knew i had an interest in the afterlife, also have had to many other ghostly encounters to completely dismiss an afterlife, it makes sense to me to believe i never existed before birth and wont after, but just believing something doesent necessarily make it true.

what do you mean by visit?